Your fiancé resides in another state and has a child from a previous relationship. Your fiance and the former spouse are currently having joint custody of their child. How can I marry a fiance with joint child custody out of state, you ask yourself? Your own marriage won’t necessarily get affected.

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You can still pursue marriage with your fiance. You can accomplish your marriage goals as long as you keep an open mind while doing so. As soon as you marry your fiancé, you’ll become a stepparent. You must begin thinking through the role you will play in the lives of your soon to be husband and step child. Rather than trying to act as the child’s parent, the best role to play is to be a good host.

Stop for a moment. Do realize that when you marry your fiance, you are going to start a blended family.

The Challenges of Becoming A Stepparent In a Blended Family

First marriages continue to experience divorce at a rate of about 50%. In other words, a large number of people get married again and live together again. Each person carries their own special “baggage” to a new relationship, regardless of whether you remarry or simply cohabitate. This baggage often takes the form of children.

For a lot of individuals, marrying someone who has a child from a prior relationship means developing a bond not just with the adult partner but also with the child. If the relationship breaks down, this can be very difficult since you’ll feel like you’re losing a child you’ve grown to love and consider your own, even though you’re not blood relatives. This ideally is how a blended family is formed.

A blended family, also known as a stepfamily, reconstituted family, or a complex family, can be defined simply as a family unit in which one or both parents have children from a prior relationship but have come together to form a new family. The parents might not have children together and they might be in a heterosexual or same-sex relationship.

Blended families may run into problems with child support, medical choices, and other complicated challenges like:

[a] Family members’ roles may conflict when their children are of different ages, such as when a parent’s older child takes on the role of the family’s eldest and the younger children of the other family must learn to fill the vacancy.
[b] The strain on the original parents to balance the needs of their children and the new partner(s), especially when there may be a clash of values.
[c] Conflicting family ideals and obligations of each family member in terms of daily tasks, proper conduct, and other expectations
[d] Problems with social graces between the biological parent who isn’t participating and the new stepparent, and which one is serving as which kind of role model
[e] Communication problems over how to jointly raise the children
[f] Stepchildren frequently push the limits of the new family dynamic and trigger concerns on discipline.

Discipline is among the most difficult issues that arise when two families merge. Although it can be challenging, it can be nearly impossible to discipline someone else’s children. Regardless of the child’s age, consistent and effective discipline requires ongoing communication between the biological parent and the stepparent.

Periodically, it is important to explain the clear expectations for parenting, guiding, and supervising the kids. When combining families, be reasonable. To encourage stepchildren to appreciate and accept the new parent’s decisions, it is essential to invest time in developing a relationship with them.

Parents have a difficult task ahead of them in the real world of family strife, grieving, trust issues, and unreasonable expectations as they attempt to mend the scars caused by divorce, remarriage, and immediate siblings.

The Benefits of Having A Blended Family

While it may appear that stepfamilies have a difficult time combining two families into one and that it is sometimes easier to dissolve the marriage, there are also numerous advantages to a blended family as well:

[a] Children benefit from having two or more loving parents who serve as positive role models.
[b] Every family member gains a greater appreciation for diversity and individual uniqueness.
[c] There is frequently more financial and emotional assistance available for the entire family.
[d] It’s possible for new siblings to get along well with one another and develop bonds of care and support.
[e] The new family structure may be more wholesome than the old one, providing a more tranquil and stable home.

Many blended families eventually overcome their challenges and develop into solid, encouraging family groups for each member. There are successful blended families out there, and with a lot of patience, blended families may succeed just as much as traditional families.

Do Stepparents Even Have Parental Rights

The rights of stepparents are somewhat ambiguous under the law, and each state will handle the situation differently. But some broad generalizations are possible.

A stepparent is typically referred to as a “legal stranger” to the child.

When a person marries a child’s biological parent, they do not instantly acquire or share that parent’s parental rights in the child. Although divorce might end a marriage, it does not revoke the parents’ legal authority to parent a child. The parents continue to share joint physical and legal custody. Stepparents may be able to influence minor children and help the biological parent with their responsibilities, but they do not automatically acquire any rights or obligations as a result of a marriage.

Adoption is the most popular way for stepparents to acquire parental rights. Parental rights difficulties are frequently settled by adopting a stepchild. However, adoption is a very difficult process.

According to Michigan law, a parent or guardian of a minor child may designate another person as the temporary beneficiary of a power of attorney that transfers parental responsibility. Without the need for a judge’s intervention, a stepparent can be temporarily granted parental responsibility for a period of no more than six months, which can be extended.

The state of Michigan, however, considers it a felony punishable by a fine of up to $100,000 or by up to 20 years in prison, or both, if a parent makes an attempt to use a power of attorney to transfer the legal or physical custody of a child with the intent to permanently relieve a parent of parental responsibility.

A person who helps, aids, abets, or conspires with a parent to do this act, including the person receiving the transfer of parental authority, is also guilty of a felony in the state of Michigan and is subject to a fine of up to $100,000 or a term of imprisonment of up to 20 years, or both.

Another way to acquire parental authority is to have guardianship.The probate court may appoint a guardian for an unmarried minor. In the county where the minor resides or is present at the time of filing, anyone concerned about the welfare of a minor—or a minor who is 14 years old or older—may petition for the appointment of a guardian on their behalf.

The finer elements of blended families are brought to light by comprehending the differences between the definition of a blended family and the definition of a family in general. Although blended families have advantages due to their particular family structure, parents of children with diverse parents nonetheless confront additional problems.

Statistics on blended families support both of these views. No matter what biological or legal ties may or may not be there, taking a deeper look at your blended family enables you to recognize the special qualities and worth of each person.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.