How to Handle a He Said/She Said Divorce in Michigan

A divorce or child custody lawsuit is like any other case in that it depends on the strength of your evidence. There will be occasions when there is plenty of proof to back up specific facts and cases where there is none. Many times, disputes over child custody or divorce come down to who said what. How do you handle a he-said/she-said divorce?

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He-said-she-said disputes during divorce are not relevant in Michigan. It is a no-fault divorce state. No longer does it matter why you get divorced. Of course, there are situations where he-said-she-said disputes are pertinent. Such as in child custody cases. What he and she stated in a custody dispute should be documented in writing and signed under oath. A deposition of what each person said under oath on paper can be entered as part of the facts of the case.

 

Why is Michigan a no-fault divorce state?

For more than a century, Michigan’s only basis for divorce was a marital transgression. The fault procedure just persisted. It has so despite the possibility that it could lead to unsatisfactory outcomes. It was preferable to the alternatives of divorce by consent, divorce by coercion of an innocent party, or no divorce at all.

Legal scholars and public organizations harshly criticized fault-based divorce for years.

The adversarial tone of the court appeals was criticized for deepening the divisions. It created more rifts between the parties rather than promoting reconciliation. The need to prove some marital offense to get a divorce drew more criticism. This condition hindered the court’s investigation into the true causes of marriage dissolution. It focuses on a superficial “pigeonholing” of relationships to one statutory ground. The marital fault doctrine was also thought to be unreasonable. It attempts to focus the full blame for the breakdown of the marriage on one party. It singled out the person carrying out the offending behavior.

Up until the late 1960s, in order for a divorce to be granted, the petitioning party was always required to prove blame. Couples could not just decide to divorce their spouse because they were unhappy. They were required to present proof that their husband had broken the law instead. Among the grounds for granting divorce was bigamy (in some states). Others choose adultery and abandonment. Still, others went for severe cruelty or abuse, and an inability to perform in the bedroom. It was a breeding ground for he-said-she-said arguments in court proceedings.

These drove hundreds of thousands of couples to stay in unhappy marriages. Even when neither spouse committed any serious crimes. Being apart was never a possibility.

When then-governor Ronald Reagan signed California’s Family Law Act into law in 1969, things began to stir and change. In California, divorcing couples can now do so without blaming one another. They instead cite irreconcilable differences. Other states swiftly followed them. Irreconcilable differences eventually became the norm for divorce in the United States.

Divorce in the United States was revolutionized by no-fault divorce. They don’t have to endure listening to he-said she is at fault and she-said he is to blame arguments and counter-arguments. The increase in divorces led to the creation of special courts in many states. Family courts to deal with divorce and other family law concerns. Courts were able to give priority to urgent cases. They can process divorce proceedings more quickly as a result of efficiency gains.

 

What is a he-said-she-said defense in a divorce case? What is hearsay?

Whether it’s a divorce or a hearing over child custody, family law disputes are often personal and emotional. Defendants frequently use he-said-she-said type arguments in their defense. They are dealing with important issues involving the future of their family’s dynamic.

This form of evidence is frequently referred to as hearsay. It can be annoying and upsetting. It has a significant impact on how family law orders turn out.

A hearsay statement is a written or verbal declaration made outside of court. They used it to support an assertion. Sworn declarations made in an affidavit or under penalty of perjury are regarded as hearsay.

Hearsay can be presented in family court by the parties or individuals close to the family. It can be by a teacher, nurse, member of the extended family, or a child, even though it is normally inadmissible. These declarations can be recorded prior to a hearing. They are “excepted as provided by law.”

Many judges regard hearsay as problematic. It is also presented during oral deliberations in court. Hearsay has long been used to inflame bias in cases. To skew the outcomes of court orders such as spousal support or custody agreements. He-said-she-said style claims can result in a lot of contradictory back and forth between spouses.

 

How do I avoid having the judge think I’m lying?

Be diligent about recording your communications in court cases if you are involved. This is especially true and needs to be acted on if you’re going through a divorce.

You have to ensure a court never has to decide whether or not they believe you are telling the truth. Here are some particular steps you may take to interact with the other party and the court:

Use written language to communicate. 

Choose to put your conversation in writing wherever possible. This entails sending a text message, a letter through the mail, or an email in place of a phone call.

Keep recordings of conversations between parties.

This may or may not be lawful, depending on the State and the particular circumstances. There won’t be any doubt as to what took place if recording the conversations is permitted.

Put any points of agreement in writing.

Put everything you discussed and what was decided upon in writing. Preferably, after your conversation with the opposing side. Have these agreements or notes signed by both parties in paper or in digital format.

Organize your conversations as you would any document.

You can still record conversations yourself if it is not possible to write them down or record them. Spend a few minutes after speaking with someone to record a summary of the conversation. Keep it along with the date for your own records. Even better if you can accomplish this using a computer application. Find an application that creates an unalterable time and date stamp.

Generally speaking, you cannot rely on another person’s assertion if you are trying to prove something. Most talks that are not under oath or subject to the penalty of perjury are deemed unreliable by the courts.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

 

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