Your ex is driving you crazy. Your ex fights dirty. Your ex playing dirty in your custody case is getting on your nerves. How to counter it? You shouldn’t be responding to your ex’s antics. Your attorney should be taking action on your behalf. Many things can be referred to as “fighting dirty.” You can be causing your own frustration by failing to do the right things.
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Let your lawyer choose the best strategy for your case. Decide with your lawyer what is worth defending and what is worth settling. You must choose the course of action that the judge will find most persuasive. The best approach is to put yourself in a position to protect your children’s interests. Your attorney should be able to express your position to the court.
How do you participate in a custody case?
You must either be the complaining party or the defendant in a custody case. You are the Defendant in the case if you were served with a custody complaint.
Every document you file in the custody dispute should be served to the opposite parent of the child. Defendant sends the documents to the other parent at the address shown on the Summons. Send the documents by First-Class Mail. Or send the documents to the other parent’s attorney if they already have one.
Fill out a Proof of Mailing form and submit it to the court clerk’s office. Submit it to the county with jurisdiction over your custody case. Complete the Proof of Mailing form every time you mail a document.
It’s not necessary for you to hire a lawyer. You are allowed to represent yourself or be your own advocate. If you and the other parent of your child can agree on the important matters you may not need a lawyer. Or if the other parent is not represented by a lawyer, you might be able to handle your case on your own. It can be difficult to represent yourself in a custody dispute otherwise.
The other parent of your child might disagree with you on crucial matters. You should think about getting an attorney. You should also need an attorney if your case involves complex legal considerations. You should consider this if:
[ a ] You’re having a child and uncertain about the biological father’s identity
[ b ] You are experiencing physical, verbal, or emotional abuse in a relationship?
When parents are unable to come to an agreement over custody on their own, a judge will have to make that decision. The chance exists for each spouse to argue their case why they ought to be the custodial parent. The possibility of devious tactics in a custody dispute exists. More so when the hearing is contested.
What kind of dirt and tricks can your ex throw at you?
You may have heard of parents who use dubious tactics during a child custody dispute. Some do it to keep full custody of their kids or others to avenge their spouse. This is not a wise course of action, and the parent who attempts it may find that it backfires.
Let’s do a tour of some of them.
Your ex-spouse’s dirty tricks before the hearing.
People use one or more dirty tactics in a custody case. The point of these antics is to retaliate against their spouse. Or divert your focus as you prepare to appear in court for a custody hearing. Here are a few examples of these dirty tricks:
[ a ] Max out credit cards or empty bank accounts.
[ b ] Get a restraining order against you based on unfounded or fabricated claims.
[ c ] Making a false accusation of physical abuse.
[ d ] Move with the kids without giving notice or leaving a forwarding address.
Your ex-spouse’s dirty tricks after the custody hearing.
There are sneaky tactics a former spouse might use after your custody hearing, such as:
[ a ] Limiting or prohibiting the non-custodial parent’s use of the child’s phone
[ b ] Refusing the non-custodial parent’s request for a visit.
[ c ] Bad-mouthing the other parent to affect the child’s perception of the other parent.
[ d ] Sabotaging the non-custodial parent opportunities to take part in school activities.
[ e ] Not communicating the child’s health information to the non-custodial parent
Keep thorough records of everything that has happened between the two of you if your husband is behaving unfairly against you. Be sure to include your spouse’s words and actions, but also keep a record of your own. Avoid losing your temper or threatening your partner. Keep a level head and let your lawyer handle it instead. It’s your lawyer’s job to handle these things.
How do you counter the dirt and the tricks from your ex-spouse?
The law requires the judge to look into your character. In a custody dispute, the judge will make conclusions about your character as a parent. The judge makes those conclusions without having the luxury of knowing who you may have been. Whom you are before getting into this terrible circumstance.
There are many ways to use a custody dispute as a chance to teach your children important life lessons. Many things can go wrong when you’re in the middle of a custody dispute. This will teach them to show compassion and respect to their own kids. Even when they’re having a difficult time. Your ex-spouse spewing all these dirty tricks is indeed a difficult time. There are things you can do to lessen the impact of these tactics.
Do not be reluctant to hire an attorney.
We strongly advise anyone against watching too many TV shows about court drama. Especially if you’re going through a custody or divorce dispute. Hire legal counsel. If your ex has a lawyer on their side, it will be very difficult for you to prevail. It will take a lot of funds to represent yourself in court against a seasoned legal team. Let your attorney do the legal jostling with the other party.
Keep your documentation organized.
This includes records of all your interactions with your kids. These records can come in the form of photos, emails, phone conversations, and logs. Keep track of anything the other parent does. Take note of interaction that isn’t typical or reasonable for raising children well.
Keep a journal and record every detail.
This includes anything your ex says or does to hurt you. You might not think it matters. You will want it when the other parent of your child tries to discredit you in front of the judge.
Don’t mirror your ex-spouse’s tactics. Don’t play dirty.
Don’t use your kids as weapons. Don’t threaten or physically harm the other parent. Stalking, taking pictures of, or spying on the other parent are also examples of playing dirty. These will do nothing except cause you harm and offer your ex more reasons to turn the tables on you.
Show your kids should how to respect others.
Many people believe that by making their ex look awful, they will win their custody case. Don’t pass up a wonderful chance to teach your kids important life lessons. Show kindness and respect to others in the presence of your children. Even when things aren’t going well.
Show the other parent respect.
Even when circumstances are at their worst, be respectful. Don’t engage in dishonest behavior. Don’t disparage your ex, and avoid doing anything that could harm your case in court. Or give the impression that you are a bitter person without self-control.
Don’t draw your kids into the conflict. Don’t allow the other parent to do so.
Things won’t be pleasant if you’re fighting for custody. It’s not an excuse to put your kids in the middle because that doesn’t demonstrate stability. A lawyer who is cross-examining you or an enraged or bitter ex may try to make you look terrible. They can let it happen in front of your children. The judge will see right through this. But your children are going to be witnesses to the back-and-forth fighting. They are hearing much more than what is actually being spoken.
Do not ignore or arrive late for parenting time.
You want to assure the court that you are acting in good faith. You cannot have the other parent of your child constantly whining about issues. Especially those you typically have control over. There will be a problem if you arrive late. If you fail to appear or fail to inform your ex of where, when, and for how long you will be bringing the children.
Be open to collaborating with your ex-spouse.
The court wants you to work together, not separately. Keep in mind that you will be on this team with the other parent of your child.
It is useful to review the standards the court uses to decide on the best placement for the children. You need to appreciate and understand how not to act during your custody dispute. The court determines the custody arrangement and parenting time. It does so in the best interests of the child.
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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.