Who is your ex-spouse spending time with in front of your kids? Do you have the right to know who your ex brings around your kids? Girlfriends and boyfriends change with time. Over the course of your life, you had many relationships. After each failed romance, you finally found someone to marry. Someone you believed to be your true love. You got married, then got divorced. This is where your relationship choice really fell short.
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Whatever your motivations, it doesn’t matter who is at fault. Divorce is evidence that your decisions regarding romantic relationships have not been all that wise. The next relationship you have might not be much better. Always keep your life with your children separate. Protect your children from it. Until you are certain that they will play a significant role in your children’s lives for a long time. At least give it some time to wait. It’s not about you, really. Your children will gain the most from waiting it out.
What is the impact of divorce on my children?
Depending on how well the marriage was, getting a divorce might be seen as either a blessing or a curse. Divorce can be as traumatic for children as losing a loved one. After a divorce, children often experience considerable changes. Changes can mean a new or revised living arrangement. Or, the difficulty of having to live with just one parent.
Children of divorced parents show higher levels of anxiety and sadness. They exhibit more antisocial conduct than their peers whose parents are still together. This is true even before the marriage has ended. Children going through a divorce see an even greater rise in anxiety and depression. Parental divorce is linked to serious risks for kids and teens. These risks include substance abuse and addiction, and mental and physical health issues. These children also suffer from subpar academic performance.
Both parents may be devastated once a marriage breaks down. The stress causes primal and potent sentiments of abandonment, loneliness, and dread. Depression or anxiety may result from this.
There isn’t even enough recognition of how terrible a loss divorce can be. How it is for couples and their children. Emotions can be loss, sadness, wrath, betrayal, remorse, and shame. Emotional manifestations following a breakup, regardless of the reasons for it.
Giving your children what they need is difficult. Especially when you are overly exposed and emotionally weak. When a marriage fails, things may become more difficult for you and your children. Divorce frequently causes financial hardship and social problems. Children may think that they are to blame for their parent’s separation. They may feel unworthy, nervous, and sad as a result of their guilt and shame.
One or both parents may eventually need to introduce a new relationship to the children. Oftentimes it comes after they have processed their grief over the loss of their family. The family they had looked to as a source of stability.
What is going to be the impact of introducing new relationships on my children?
It may be crucial to wait before getting into relationships. Wait until you have been divorced for about two years. This gives the kids time to adjust to the divorce. Adapt to changes in living arrangements and the loss of a permanent parent. Perhaps it would be better if you tell your children about your new relationship. Assure them that their other parent was not being replaced.
Parents can be anxious about some measure of happiness and success in a new relationship. They will fight about how much distance to set between their children and a newly emerging romance. It can cause uncertainty and worry in children. Your children may still be fantasizing about a reunion between you and your ex-spouse.
It is important to recognize the strength of the reunion fantasy. Even after one parent has remarried, some kids hold on to the hope that their parents will reconcile. A child’s sense of self is intimately entwined with that of the family. A child still has strong bonds with both parents. Their sense of self is endangered when the family breaks up.
Reputable family therapists will tell you this. When a child “discovers” that their parents are in love, they feel betrayed. They feel betrayed at a time when trust and assurance are most required. Children may already be apprehensive about the changes in their lives. Changes brought on by the divorce and feeling closer to a parent than they did before. They may now feel that trust is violated.
Do I have a say in the new relationship my ex introduces to my children?
If your ex-spouse has court-ordered parenting time, you may have no say about who will be around your children. Your ex-spouse has parenting time, their new partner is allowed to be around the children. This covers a few parental rights. The competence of each parent to raise the child and make decisions about who can be around the child is presumed in the absence of proof to the contrary. Parents who have parenting time have the right to this.
Your ex-spouse with parenting time has the power to choose who interacts with the child while in their care. And this power includes whether to let a new boyfriend or girlfriend be around the children. This is the same right that allows your ex-spouse to choose a babysitter or caregiver. An ex-spouse may also have his or her new significant other watch the children. Your ex-spouse can do so unless otherwise indicated in your parenting plan, decree, or custody order.
The truth is you have little control over your ex-spouse’s new partner spending time with your children. This is especially true when your ex-spouse has parenting time with them. Your ex-spouse is acting under his or her legal parental rights. Your ex-spouse is free to make that decision.
You may not have the legal right to restrict the interaction between your children and your ex-spouse’s new partner. You have to show there is inappropriate behavior. These could be abuse, excessive drinking, or criminal activity.
Ask your lawyer to request a change of the court’s custody and visitation or parenting time order. You can exercise this option if you have proof of abuse or other inappropriate behavior.
If your ex-spouse is seeing someone, it is possible you may also do so in the near future. You have to look at how this new relationship is going to impact the best interest of your children.
Can you still show that love, affection, and emotional bond still exist between you and your ex-spouse? Between you and your children now you have introduced a new relationship.
Are you sure you can still provide guidance to your child with a new relationship? This new relationship is a new mix coming between you and your children.
You are introducing a new relationship into the mix. Can you still offer a stable and satisfactory environment for the children? Can you still show a desirable continuing environment?
Are you showing some permanence in your family unit with this new relationship? Are you willing to protect the bond between your ex-spouse and your children?
Are you unsure or are you saying no to these questions? If you are, you’re about to compromise the best interest of your children with eyes wide open.
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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.