When a couple decides to divorce in their later years, it is referred to as a “gray divorce” in legal parlance. Are there alternatives to gray divorce? A few adjustments will occur at home as you transition towards retirement. like spending all of your time at home. You can experience a drastic adjustment as a result of having nothing to do. Your wife may not appreciate the adjustment because you are now always near her or lurking around. Your interference with your spouse’s regular activities is annoying.

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In long-term relationships abruptly entering the retirement phase of the spouse, you would have grandchildren and a ton of spare time. There are probably more reasons for you to stay married than for it to end. A good lawyer should be able to spot these unforeseen developments in their clients’ lives. To avoid getting in each other’s way while savoring your golden years, you may only need to make a few changes to your schedules.

What You Need To Know About Gray Divorce

A while back, we published an article entitled, “What You Need To Know About Gray Divorce” in our Legal Blog here.

Long term marriages come in increments of 20, 30, or 50 years or more of married people’s lives. Among lawyers, we talk about them and call them gray divorces.

A docketed divorce case has parties filing a complaint, filing responses to the complaint, getting summoned for discovery, engaging in discussions and mediations, and the usual negotiations for spousal and child support. Gray marriages go through the same exact process of divorce.

From 2000 to 2020, data on marriage and divorce were collected by the National Center for Health Statistics of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, or CDC, from 45 states and the District of Columbia. According to the statistics, 2.3 divorces occur for every 1,000 people. For couples aged 50 and older, the divorce rate is much higher, at about 10 instances per 1000 persons.

The general populace is aging. More than 50% of people in Michigan are now 50 years of age or older. Currently, 25% of people in Michigan are 60 years of age or older. In total, more than 2.46 million people. Our demographics include a substantial proportion of baby boomers.

The data we provided is factual. If a marriage has lasted this long, it must be a successful marriage by definition. Maybe not? What then causes a purportedly happy marriage to break up?

Alternative One: Working On Keeping It

If we ask you then, why you married your spouse, you’ll probably say your partner is special. This person is one of a kind. Nobody is like her or him. Your partner is just so special. Now you’re thinking of divorce and you’re convincing yourself divorce is a normal choice to have. Everyone does it. Simple right. Helps you sleep at night.

It doesn’t? Then maybe this marriage matters.

The data from the U.S. Census Bureau is not exactly encouraging but we need to mention it here so you can appreciate the context and enormity of the decision you’re about to make.

In the US, about 50% of marriages end in divorce. First marriages end in divorce in 48% of cases. The divorce data for your second marriage is 60%. Third marriages end in divorce in 73% of cases. All of this data is about divorce but it also tells you the fact that most got married at least twice. Each of them gave themselves a second chance to start over.

People did marry again. They still believe in marriage, or having a family. Trying again and giving this marriage a special chance to warm up again may not be difficult after all if you’re still thinking about ending it..

Everyone enduring the pain of troubled marriages most often endure them alone. Yes they do suffer taking in the imperfection of marriage, of relationships.

Wouldn’t it be better if all couples used their suffering as motivation to examine their relationships in depth, seek expert assistance, and become stronger?

Problems in a marriage may serve as a wake-up call to work on the union rather than follow the path that leads to divorce.

What a lovely world it would be if everyone could be honest with themselves and accept responsibility for their part in the issues.

Couples may be able to avoid a needless divorce if they decide to put effort into their union and make the required adjustments rather than repeating their errors. And if they do ultimately decide to get a divorce, their individual couples counseling sessions may improve their chances of getting married again successfully. 

If only people can learn from the lessons in their relationships maybe the statistics might change. 

Alternative Two: Do Nothing About It

Yes, maybe you want to take your chances and just do nothing. Ride it like a wave. Maybe you’re an adventurous one. You and your partner.

Not taking any action is in a way a choice, an alternative. 

Not coming up with any specific action to address the issues in your marriage and just waiting for them to disappear is a decision after all. For many couples, this is a viable solution. Sometimes the desire to be happy without a partner is trumped by religious convictions, a dread of loneliness, the loss of a benefit, or another worry. 

As there is no need to confront the nature of the issue, doing nothing is also simpler and less expensive than filing a divorce. However, issues rarely disappear on their own. 

If you choose not to take action, be kind to yourself and stop whining when issues start piling up.

Alternative Three: Conscious Uncoupling

Those who could not sit idly by and do nothing, you can try what Katherine Woodward Thomas wrote about called “conscious uncoupling”. This alternative is more like therapy than anything else. 

Working through a separation in a spirit of cooperation and respect is part of the process of conscious uncoupling, which is by the way, not legally binding. It ultimately tries to reduce emotional repercussions for the partners and their children, putting everyone involved on the road to future success.

The goal of conscious uncoupling is to support the couple as they navigate a very challenging situation in a way that is very beneficial, preventing them from destroying one another in the process. Conscious uncoupling can be utilized as a structure to support one another during a physical separation, a more structured legal separation, or as a structure for communication during an impending divorce.

If you’re curious if anybody actually went through a conscious uncoupling process, you can seek out actress Gwyneth Paltrow’s experience in her 2014 separation from Coldplay’s Chris Martin. Ms. Paltrow actually wrote an essay for Vogue’s September issue about it entitled, “Conscious Uncoupling Has Permeated Break-Up Culture” and how it influenced her own separation.

Ms. Paltrow and Mr. Martin actually used the words “conscious uncoupling” when they announced their separation in public.

In the worst possible reality you really can’t stand each other anymore, maybe a less drastic alternative to divorce can be chosen. You can have some practical work around you can agree on.

Alternative Four: Use Separation Agreements

You enter into a separation agreement. In Michigan, your attorney can introduce you to three types of agreements for separation, namely: private separation, separate maintenance, and postnuptial.

One, Private Separation Agreement.

An informal agreement between the parties regarding the terms of a separation is known as a private separation agreement. You may think of yourself as divorced, but under Michigan law, there is no enforceable document. If the legal separation leads to a divorce, a private separation agreement may make things more difficult. For instance, unless it is in writing, the “agreement” about property, the children, or support is unlikely to be upheld in court. Even worse, by establishing a custodial setting, you can harm a custody dispute. Legal separation is different from a private separation arrangement.

Two, Separate Maintenance Agreement.

A Separate Maintenance Agreement is a legal separation resembling a divorce in many ways. Similar filing requirements, including residency and grounds, apply to separate maintenance in Michigan. The same rules apply for child support, spousal support, child custody, and property split. The greatest distinction is that separate maintenance doesn’t end the marriage. The parties do continue to be married, unlike in a divorce. Under Michigan law, a separation structured as either a Separate Maintenance Agreement or Post Nuptial agreement qualifies as “legal.” Avoiding a divorce is a common justification for signing a Separate Maintenance Agreement, particularly when moral or religious considerations are of the utmost importance.

Clients are occasionally advised to think about a separate maintenance agreement to keep a sick spouse on health insurance even after a divorce due to the fact that they are still technically married after filing for separation. Sadly, it can be challenging to maintain a spouse’s health insurance under a Separate Maintenance Agreement because many health insurance policies view a Separate Maintenance Agreement as being equivalent to a divorce.

A joint tax return can still be filed by a couple under a Separate Maintenance Agreement

Three, Postnuptial Agreement.

One of the most effective legal separation tools in Michigan, this separation agreement is typically valid under Michigan law. You can continue to be covered by your spouse’s health insurance while living apart, unlike a Separate Maintenance Agreement. Similar to a prenuptial agreement, a postnuptial agreement is one that is signed after you get married.

There is no necessity the parties be apart for the duration of the Postnuptial Agreement in order for it to be enforceable. To do this, attorneys first file for divorce, then they sign the Post Nuptial Agreement, and finally they dismiss the divorce case.

Divorce however you approach it will have both financial and emotional costs, however, there are alternatives worth looking into. The logic behind divorce statutes is framed in such a way as to give couples a chance to think through this decision. The cooling period inserted as a waiting period in the statues is there for that reason.

The state still believes in preserving marriage, to keep a family together.

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The Michigan courts do take verbal agreements between parents about child custody into consideration. The courts will undoubtedly reach a conclusion at some point. It is best that you consult with your respective attorneys so that the court can take into account verbal agreements between parents in a child custody issue. These oral agreements are crucial in Michigan child custody disputes. Request that your attorneys put your verbal agreement in writing. It guarantees that the court will take into account the verbal agreements between the parents.

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People can be fickle. Your ex can have a sudden and dramatic change of heart. Some “free” legal advice from friends and family can change their perspective. The unfortunate truth is that people do not always keep their promises, and in tense and emotional circumstances, people frequently have second thoughts about what they want or believe to be the best course of action.  

It is undoubtedly possible to have a verbal custody arrangement where everything works properly and both sides participate fully, but is it worth the risk if that changes?

Verbal and Informal Agreements, What’s The Difference

A verbal custody agreement between two parents managing the custody and visitation of their children is referred to as a parenting plan. Verbal custody agreements are frequently used in separations and unresolved divorce cases even though formal parenting plans are usually required in divorce cases.

In order to offer both parents a clear understanding of who would have custody of any minor children born into the marriage, custody agreements are created. These agreements include a precise timetable outlining when, where, how long, and when the children will return for each parent. The goal of custody agreements is to lessen disputes that may develop between parents as a result of misunderstandings, resentment, or spite, as well as to ease the transition for the kids during the separation.

Verbal custody agreements are made orally, typically during meetings of the parents to discuss how the children’s time would be divided. Making a verbal custody agreement is easy, but there are a few things to consider to make sure it is fair and specific. To be discussed are the children’s primary caregiver, where they will live, when the non-custodial parent will pick them up, and where they will go during visits.

In most, not all jurisdictions, verbal custody arrangements are regarded as binding legal contracts. However, verbal agreements are notoriously difficult to execute, especially if the parents are not on good terms. This is because it comes down to which party’s word is more reliable.

The court will find it challenging to enforce agreements without tangible proof of their provisions. To ensure that both parents have a legally binding copy of the plan, it is strongly advised that any custody arrangement you create, including open custody arrangements, be put in writing and signed by both parties.

Informal custody agreements can range from friendly discussions about who will see the kids on certain days to more formal written agreements created with the help of mediators and attorneys. Formal custody agreements can be created from informal ones provided the necessary paperwork is submitted to the court and accepted by the judge.

The divorce decree, which outlines the conditions of the divorce, is then amended to reflect the informal agreements. Arrangements between parents who were never wed, are momentarily separated, or are in the beginning stages of a divorce are frequently included in informal agreements.

A non-judicial agreement is an informal custody arrangement. An out-of-court custody arrangement cannot take the place of a judicial custody arrangement. An informal agreement that has not been brought before the court in legal processes cannot be enforced by the family court.

All agreements made in court and accepted by the court are formal and have legal force. Parents who choose to modify a court-ordered custody arrangement must go back to court to get the modifications approved.

Verbal Agreements Are Ok, Agreements in Paper Are Better

Parents may verbally agree on custody, child support, or both because the “split” was amicable and, so far, there have been no issues with exchanges or co-parenting. Other times, parents may reach a verbal agreement on custody, child support, or both because the “split” was amicable and, so far, there have been no issues with exchanges or co-parenting. 

When parents can reach a consensus, it’s always wonderful and greatly lessens the emotional and financial strain that court hearings bring. However, what happens if that agreement is never put in writing? Alternatively, why should the agreement be on paper if the parents are on board and everything is going smoothly?

Verbal agreements in place of official parenting plans are very seldom, if ever, permitted by family courts during divorce processes. The majority of jurisdictions demand that the parents present a written, signed plan so that the judge can formally enter it as an order obliging both parties to abide by it. 

Even if you and your ex-partner are on good terms, you should seriously consider documenting any parenting arrangements you make to safeguard both you and the other parent from future issues.

The Truths About Agreements According To The Law

A verbal agreement or oral contract is generally enforceable as long as it is fair, conscionable, reasonable, and carried out in good faith. There are just a few contract types that need to be in writing in order to be enforceable.

A contract must contain both an offer and an acceptance of that offer. A transaction must be proposed by one party and accepted by the other.

Consideration is a crucial component. It implies that in order to enter into a contract, both sides will have to provide something. There must be agreement from both parties. This merely implies that there must be a discussion or convergence of ideas. The terms of the contract must be clear to all parties.

If you really want to do this by the book, here’s what the book says.

The book says there are 5 essential elements of a valid contract or agreement:

One, competency.

A contract won’t be upheld by a court if it’s obvious that one of the parties couldn’t understand it or was forced to sign it. Each party entering into a contract must be:

(a) Legal adult (over 18)

(b) Having a good intellect and enough mental capacity

(c) Free from restrictions, in this case ones that limit their capacity to freely consent.

It is clear why the courts have these specifications for contracts that are legally binding. Anyone who has been fooled or coerced into signing a paper has not genuinely agreed to what it says; rather, they have just followed instructions. Unlike adults, minors are not thought to be capable of entering contracts due to the possibility of fraud. A parent or legal guardian, however, may sign on their child’s behalf.

Two, proper subject matter.

A contract clearly violating a specific statute or the public policy won’t be upheld in Michigan courts. The state will not force somebody to do something that is against the law, which goes without saying. Even though we hope you’re not entering into contracts of this nature, there are instances in which dishonest people or businesses try to persuade signatories they’ve given up certain rights.

Three, consideration.

A legal detriment agreed to in exchange for a promise is known as consideration. A party typically promises to do something for which they are not legally compelled or to refrain from doing something for which they are legally permitted in exchange for payment. This simply means you are entering into a contract not currently required by law.

Fourth, mutuality of agreement.

A “meeting of the minds” is necessary for a contract to be enforceable, which entails having all parties concur on the essential terms of the agreement. Courts consider the existence of an offer and an acceptance when examining this factor.

An offer is a declaration of intent to enter into a contract with specific conditions. The offeror does not need to state a contract is in existence, but intent is important in that the offeror’s goal must be interpreted as a contract proposal. It is important to consider whether a typical person would have assumed the offeror intended to engage into a contract.

Of course, it would be difficult for anyone to contest your agreement if you put it in writing.

On the other hand, acceptance signifies agreement with the terms of an offer by the other side. An offeror could insist on a certain acceptance format, such written form. If the Offeror so elects, the Offer shall be subject to the satisfaction by the Offeree of the Conditions of the Offer. If no format is specified, acceptance may be communicated in any manner the offeree deems appropriate.

Fifth, mutuality of obligation.

Both parties to a contract are obligated by its terms, which is referred to as mutuality of obligation. If one side is required to act while the other is not, mutuality is not present. A contract will be deemed invalid if there is no mutual commitment.

It can be very challenging to enforce the parenting schedule you have in place if something goes wrong without a written agreement, whether it be in the form of a “contract” or a consent order.

If something goes wrong, the only method to try to enforce a verbal agreement will be through litigation, which is an expensive and time-consuming process.

Try imagining how you are going to use the above in getting what you want in your custody and parenting time. This will help you have a more organized and sensible conversation with your attorney in terms of what you have you can offer and what the other party can give you. 

The court does factor your verbal agreements, but they prefer you do it in writing. Share your intentions with your attorney but get it in writing this time.

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You might be wondering, why anyone most specially your soon to be ex dig up anything against you. You might have convinced yourself your ex doesn’t really need to paint you as a monster to get divorce. Michigan is a “no-fault” divorce state. Your spouse doesn’t need a reason to get rid of you or kick you out of your marriage. So, why would anyone bother to find out what can be used against you in a divorce.

How about a better deal in spousal support? How about cutting you off parenting time and custody? Would that be reason enough for you?

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Property division in the divorce settlement may not be the place to do it if your spouse wants to get a better deal. The equitable property split of 50/50 or close to it will always be followed by the courts. With anything relating to your children, it’s different. 

Nothing in the division of property can be used against you in a divorce discussion. However, if your activity or behavior could jeopardize the children’s welfare or safety, a Michigan divorce judge could hold that against you. Such actions may result in the loss of child custody. The fact that you are unworthy of being the custodial parent may be used against you.

A vindictive spouse can push the envelope even more and use domestic abuse or child abuse as leverage. Hurling accusations against you might just stick. A vindictive spouse may not care if it’s true or not. We have covered the inconvenient circumstance a vindictive spouse can put you through in an article, “How To Deal With A Vindictive Spouse During Divorce In Michigan” in our Legal Blog. You can read it here.

If you become aware or suspect your behavior could be used against you, it’s best to talk to your attorney about it.

The Truth Is, There’s Always Something That Can Be Used Against You

The most viable evidence the opposing party can use against you will come most likely from any of the elements of domestic abuse or child abuse. Your ex can allege or convince anyone or your own child to allege you have committed some form of domestic abuse or child abuse.

Anyone with an ax to grind can just pick from any description of domestic abuse under physical and emotional abuse and put your name beside it in a complaint, and you’re off to a courtesy visit from the police or CPS. Of course, most of the time, the court sees through all that and dismisses them. You can’t be complacent however because even a false accusation can do a lot of damage to you.

We posted an article on the serious consequences of false domestic abuse accusations but we also articulated “How To Deal With False Domestic Abuse Claims In A Michigan Divorce” in our Legal Blog and you can read all about them here.

You’re thinking and probably heard a lot from others saying emotional abuse is difficult to prove. Yes, truly it is difficult. Take note. They say it’s difficult, not impossible.

There are already approaches to go around the difficulties of proving emotional abuse. For some serendipitous circumstance you might end up in the rare statistic of being exempted from the “difficult” category and actually get arraigned. In the article we mentioned, being arraigned will be enough to change your life.

Sometimes there is no hard proof in these cases, or there are no witnesses who can speak on behalf of the claimed victim. This is due to the fact that domestic violence incidents or domestic abuse typically take place in private and depend on the testimony of the two parties involved. It’s critical to understand what evidence the prosecution may use against you if you are facing domestic abuse charges.

Let’s look at what may be used against you.

Doctor notes or medical records. Gynecologists and doctors are increasingly trained to spot abuse indicators. Resources for reporting the abuse include health care professionals. If your accuser was seeking medical attention for an injury, the doctor would have made notes regarding the alleged abuse. Without calling the police, some can just write “cause of an injury.”

Your accuser will most likely call on a trusted friend, coworker or family member who knows what’s going on and would be willing to help your accuser. There are many ways they can help document the alleged abuse.

Your accuser might have recorded random encounters or run into  This can be their stalking log of your encounters.

Video or voice recording of you drunk while with kids or in your “weird episodes” in an activity at home. Or it can be any digital evidence like a voice mail or email.

When fraudulent allegations of abuse are made, the stakes are quite high. 

In contrast, those seeking civil restraining orders in circumstances of domestic abuse must meet a low burden of proof and most hearings for such orders are rushed.

An application for a domestic abuse restraining order would typically include the request for an ex parte emergency order, which will be followed by a more permanent order given upon a return hearing in court. A person may file a Motion and Affidavit requesting ex parte relief in order for an ex parte restraining order to be entered.

Ex parte relief is an immediate remedy, and the claims the court considers are unrebutted by the accused party. The Court may issue a temporary restraining order on the basis of this biased submission, ejecting the defendant from the family home, forbidding contact between the defendant and the victim and frequently the children, and scheduling the case for a hearing in the near future, usually within a few weeks.

Impact On Divorce

Domestic abuse in marriage will cause Michigan courts to look more closely in the divorce case and consider it seriously even if they often divide marital property fairly. If the victim was harmed, they will take into account whatever effect the abuse may have had, such as whether it prevented the victim from working or whether marital assets were withheld.

They might also think about whether the abuse was the main cause of the marriage’s dissolution. A larger share of the marital estate may be given to the victim if they determine there is compelling evidence in her favor.

When determining spousal support, the judge takes impacts of domestic abuse into account, just as with the marital estate.

The severity of emotional and verbal abuse is well understood by Michigan’s courts, especially when it is utilized as a form of social control. The courts will typically take this into account when splitting up property and considering property in cases of more severe abuse. Here’s the thing, the court will generally not award one party more than sixty (60%) percent of the marital estate when it comes to distributing the assets, nevertheless.

Impact on Child Custody and Parenting Time

The best interest of the child factors is the key basis for the court’s deliberations and decision. In some circumstances, the court will go above and beyond the call of duty to safeguard children. While it is generally accepted that both parents should spend time with their kids and communication is essential, the court may break from this rule where one parent poses a risk to the kids. If there has been a history of domestic violence, for example, the court might restrict access in that situation.

Above all, the court strives to protect the kids, and it has a duty to put them in the most secure environment. When one parent has a history of violence, it raises concerns that they would use violence toward the children as well. Domestic violence can disqualify perpetrators from parenting time even if they are not violent toward the children.

Domestic or child abuse can have an impact on a variety of issues, not only physical custody. The children’s residence is only one aspect of custody. Additionally, it impacts the amount of parenting time permitted as well as whether the kids are allowed to spend time with a parent. Domestic violence has an effect on these two judgments.

While judges can typically examine which aspects best fit the circumstance using the best interests test, they must take domestic violence into account. They lack the freedom to ignore it or minimize it. Judges would, in any case, have very little excuse to not treat domestic violence seriously.

The court may nonetheless permit an alleged abusive parent to visit their children if provisions have been made to protect their safety. Parents might be present when their children have supervised visits, for instance. A court-appointed supervisor may accompany the visit in part or whole. The potential of a future bonding with the parent may still be preserved by the court even in cases of domestic abuse. There are other options, such as allowing the parent unsupervised visits but prohibiting overnight stays.

The parent can also be required by the court to go to counseling while the custody dispute is ongoing. This can involve taking parenting or anger management classes. It is crucial to follow the judge’s instructions and show you are dedicated to their terms if you find yourself in this situation. You and your divorce attorney could eventually demonstrate to the court you followed the judge’s orders exactly.

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In a Michigan divorce, both parties will work to obtain the most favorable terms possible. Parties may exaggerate claims, such as emotional abuse, in order to forward their own objectives. When deciding a case, Michigan courts are not known to break from the 50/50 equitable distribution criterion. The outcome of the divorce may not be determined by the existence of proof of emotional abuse. However, proving emotional abuse in the context of protecting children may take on a whole new meaning.

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Since Michigan’s courts tend to lean on the side of child protection, emotional abuse against minors will receive a fair amount of attention. Your lawyer should know how emotional abuse can be used or defended against.

The Truth About Domestic Abuse and Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior that may have a detrimental effect on the victim’s cognitive, emotional, psychological, or social development. It is also known as psychological maltreatment. When a parent, caregiver, or other adult in authority emotionally abuses a child, the effects are virtually always negative and frequently last the rest of the child’s life.

Both verbal abuse, such as calling someone names, and terrorizing, which typically entails scaring the child by threatening them with harm or purposefully putting them in terrifying situations, are examples of emotional abuse. Long-term disregard for the child might also mean excluding them from friends and family, dismissing them as a person, or skipping over their most fundamental emotional requirements.

The court will always use one of the twelve factors for determining the best interest of the child in deliberating on custody and parenting time. Domestic violence or domestic abuse is one of these factors. The parent does not necessarily have to be violent to children. Children don’t necessarily have to witness it. The presence or evident existence of domestic violence is sufficient for the court to take into account. It’s crucial to inform the judge about the violence and your fears.

Emotional Abuse and Child Abuse

We have covered the subject of child abuse very well in our article “What Is Considered Child Abuse In Michigan” and you can read more of it here in our Legal Blog. 

In that article we mentioned about the following in the context of child abuse:

A person who is younger than 18 years old and has not attained legal emancipation is referred to as a “Child.”

Abuse encompasses the use of the following words.

“Cruel” refers to something that is cruel, inhumane, sadistic, or torturous.

“Omission” refers to a child being purposefully abandoned or not being given the required food, clothing, or shelter for their welfare.

“Serious mental harm” is defined as an injury to a child’s mental wellbeing or condition that is not necessarily permanent but nevertheless produces clearly discernible manifestations of a significant disorder of thought or mood that materially impairs behavior, judgment, the ability to recognize reality, or the capacity to cope with day-to-day demands of life.

Many studies over the years have demonstrated children who experience emotional abuse, such as routine humiliating, ignoring, or intimidating, are more likely to exhibit undesired behaviors that become more severe as they get older. Low self-esteem, self-destructive habits, promiscuity, substance abuse issues, hostility, difficulties building relationships, animal cruelty, and suicidal impulses are a few examples of these behaviors, although they are not restricted to them.

It is more difficult to identify emotional abuse since it does not leave the same visible signs as physical abuse does. Emotional abuse is harder to spot when it is a kid’s only form of abuse, despite the assertions of many professionals that it is more prevalent among all other types of child abuse.

Proving Child Abuse Is Proving Emotional Abuse

Domestic abuse is not just about physically hitting someone. Domestic abuse can come in many forms. It may come in the form of physical assault, intimidation, stalking, sexual assault, isolation, control of financial resources, threats, and emotional abuse. How do you prove emotional abuse?

From a legal perspective, emotional abuse can sometimes fall into a gray area because the term is frequently interpreted differently by different people. 

In many cases, it might be challenging to tell emotional abuse apart from psychological abuse. It is safe to conclude that “emotional” and “mental” abuse are likely to be considered as being the same thing in the eyes of the law because most experts concur  emotional child abuse may be summed up as an assault on that child’s psyche.

This is a crucial distinction to make because the Michigan penal code does not explicitly state that molesting children emotionally is illegal. But there are mentions of “serious mental harm” in the definition we just mentioned above of what child abuse might entail.

A parent or any adult who cares for a child could be charged with child abuse if they treated them in a way that had a lasting detrimental effect on the child without ever physically injuring them. In order for this to occur, the prosecutor must demonstrate a causal link between the abuse by the parent and the harm to the child’s psychological or emotional well-being. 

This is shockingly simple to pull off because most prosecutors have access to child therapists and psychologists who can testify in court about the harm done.

There are techniques specialists use to try to identify when children are the victims of emotional abuse, even if it can be difficult to identify in a child when it occurs independently of all other types of abuse. These include targeted inquiries about family dynamics as well as approaches like art therapy and imagination play in a supervised therapeutic environment.

There is also already an evolving field in pediatrics helping the state assess signs of abuse called “child abuse pediatrics” in assessing physical manifestations of abuse.

Caveat for Parents, Guardians, and Caregivers

It can be a life changing experience to be accused of child abuse or emotional abuse. It could affect careers, job opportunities, relationships, and overall damage to your reputation. The stigma of such an accusation or even worse, a conviction will stick with you for a lifetime.

Police and prosecutors will turn the lives of parents and other caregivers who are accused of child abuse upside down in an effort to look for indications of abuse. It’ll be intrusive, upsetting, and frightening. Due to the fact that the criminal process differs from an inquiry by Child Protective Services (CPS), it can also mean going through the same trauma twice.

False allegations sometimes come up for reasons that aren’t even malicious. Some unfounded allegations are just the result of misunderstanding. When a child says something that is ultimately misinterpreted, this can actually occur pretty quickly. This can either indicate that a parent misread what the child said, or it could indicate that the youngster misunderstood what the parent said or did.

Many times, false accusations are not the result of innocence. Frequently, parents are falsely accused of terrible deeds by an opposing parent. This is usually perpetrated to obtain a benefit, such as custody of their children, people occasionally accuse their spouse of abusing them throughout the divorce process.

Sometimes a parent just wants to limit the amount of time the other parent spends with the kids. Even worse, some people accuse others of abuse purely out of resentment and self-interest. Fortunately, most judges have the ability to recognize false abuse claims. The courts do not tolerate these kinds of extremely serious accusations very well when they are patently false.

The best precautions against false allegations is to be more proactive about it especially if you’re in the middle of a divorce and child custody case. Here are some proactive and preventive practices you can take to avoid misunderstanding and false accusations: 

• Avoid any behavior that can be perceived as inappropriate (i.e. telling children crude jokes, making sexually provocative remarks to them, or indulging in rough horseplay.)
• Avoid being alone with other people’s kids as often as you can.
• Try your best to reach an acceptable custody agreement if you are in the middle of a divorce with minor children.
• Learn about claims of child abuse and neglect. Knowing more makes it simpler to steer clear of circumstances that can be misunderstood.

In the worst possible scenario, you might really get a formal charge of abuse, you need to be more deliberate in your action.

Deal with the accuser directly by checking and questioning the accuser’s credibility and reputation. In most cases, charges of abuse or often solely coming from an accuser. 

When the accuser is the accused’s own son or daughter is one issue that can emerge. Typically, parents don’t want to throw dirt at their own children. There are polite methods to refute the child’s or the other parent’s accusation in this situation. The child may have been forced or unintentionally persuaded to make up tales.

You may have to build your own credibility. Get character witnesses to talk on your behalf. Just be consistent in your statement. In the extreme you might be convinced to undergo a lie detector test, just don’t let the police perform the test. Best of all, tell the truth and be consistent in whatever statement you make.

Attack the substance of the evidence being presented. Consistencies are always present in false accusations. Check the gaps in the investigation report itself.

Most important of all, call an attorney to help you sort out all of the above.

You might have the motivation to do it but your pain and anguish might cloud your judgment about what is appropriate in your defense. Your attorney can do a better job at doing all those mentioned above.

In the end, you will be relying mainly on your attorney and the wisdom and sense of fairness of the court.

It has always been a bias in court to lean towards keeping the parent-child bond, so even an abusive parent may get some form of custody or parenting time. Even with much evidence, the court will lean towards protecting child-parent bonds. In most cases, in spite of apparent abuse, the extreme remedy will be supervised parenting time.

The court may still give an abusive parent some form of custody or parenting time. In the event both parents request joint custody, the judge must take abuse into account. If you and the other parent can jointly make parenting decisions, the judge will have to decide whether or not this is allowed. Communications and parental decision-making may be difficult if one of the parties is abusive. One of the key factors to petition for sole custody is domestic abuse.

One thing should be very clear. Domestic violence is not a key factor in a divorce case because Michigan is a “no-fault divorce” state, but it is an important consideration for child custody and parenting time.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

In divorce proceedings, spouses frequently devise strategies to gain the upper hand. There will be complaints or charges of domestic abuse. It might or might not be true, but it does happen. Have an open and honest conversation with your attorney if any such abuse allegations do surface in your Michigan divorce case.

Click here to watch the video on How To Deal With False Domestic Abuse Claims In A Michigan Divorce 

In a Michigan divorce case, you must deal with fabricated domestic abuse allegations since they may have an impact on child custody. If these accusations turn out to be accurate, your lawyer can help you limit the impact by working with you. If not, your counsel can always file a motion to have the accusations dismissed.

Gender Equality: Women Can Be Guilty of Domestic Violence Too!

Domestic violence is a very serious legal issue. However, the way the system addresses this problem may have produced an even bigger threat associated with fabricated domestic abuse complaints. They frequently come up in divorce, separation, and custody battles as a way to gain tactical legal advantage.

Domestic violence is no longer gender specific. It is certainly no longer specific to women. The social stigma linked to violence inflicted by women on men, and the institutionalized bias against such accusations by law enforcement officials and the legal system itself, are some of the explanations given for why domestic violence instances involving women against men go unreported.

No matter how one feels about the debate on “who did what to whom more often”, the way the judicial system handles such allegations opens the door for parties in divorce and custody cases to abuse claims that aren’t true.

It’s critical for men in abusive relationships to understand that they are not on their own. More frequently than you may think, both in heterosexual and same-sex relationships, males are abused. Men from all backgrounds, regardless of age or profession, experience it. According to statistics, men may make up as many as one in three victims of domestic abuse.

However, men frequently hesitate to disclose abuse out of embarrassment, apprehension that they won’t be believed, or concern their partner will avenge them.

The Colossal Impact On Domestic Abuse to Child Custody and Parenting Time

A court’s determination that domestic violence has occurred has significant consequences. In the case of criminal offenses, jail time or monetary penalties may be assessed, and “no contact” orders may be issued, which may include compelling the offender to leave the family home or prohibiting contact between a parent and their child.

The repercussions are equally severe in civil cases such as divorce and child custody disputes. You may in one form or another start to experience legal difficulties.

A restraining order may be issued against you. A domestic abuse restraining order will contain a restriction barring the defendant from harming the victim in any way. It effectively keeps you away from your children.

When domestic abuse is suspected, the court will issue a restraining order forbidding the perpetrator from getting in touch with the victim either directly or indirectly, whether via phone, text, email, letters, or other means. No matter whether the victim initiates the contact or not, any breach of those restraining restrictions is illegal and punishable by incarceration.

A considerable number of states are already subscribing to a position related to domestic violence. No more physical custody of children for domestic abuse offenders. This compromises your ability and chances to pursue child custody.

Here’s another scenario happening. As part of a no-contact requirement for domestic violence restraining order, the accused abuser has restricted access to accusers’ premises or property.  This encompasses property owned or rented solely or by both of them. The order allows a police officer to go to the residence with a party to monitor the removal of a restricted amount of personal property.

It is frequently assumed that family law conflicts should not require mediation in cases of domestic abuse. Mediation is the one work around left for you may no longer be available to you.

Additionally, the issuance of a domestic violence restraining order could have an impact on other civil liberties. A domestic abuser, for instance, is not permitted to purchase or possess a handgun for any reason under the federal “Brady Bill.”

As a condition of restoring normal contact with his children, the Court may also order a defendant to take part in therapies such as anger management classes, drug and alcohol rehab, and other therapies.

A domestic violence restraining order frequently forbids the defendant from contacting any kids who may have seen the domestic abuse. As a result, there might be no parenting time or parenting time under supervision.

The stakes are exceedingly high when false abuse charges are made. Ironically, this is in contrast to the low standard of proof required for people seeking civil restraining orders in cases of domestic violence and the hurried nature of most hearings for such orders.

All of these legal entanglements can dramatically impact your position in child custody and parenting time negotiations.

False Domestic Abuse Claims Can Compromise Children Too

Even when an accusation is ultimately found to be untrue, years or even months of courtroom drama are frequently involved. Typically, the kids have heard one or both sides of what’s happening, and occasionally they have even been forced to participate in the fabrication of lies. When a minor child is subjected to emotional trauma as a result of a lawsuit based on false assertions, their life’s trajectory is frequently and irreparably altered.

The sad thing about false domestic abuse claims is, even when these accusations are discovered to be really false, months and even years of litigation have already come to pass. Children have already been subjected to the rigors and stress of the process.

Imagine in a case of falsely accusing a father of sexual abuse. The child will be subjected to the process reserve for rape victims. That child will be subjected to a rape or molestation examination by children’s hospital rape or molestation examiners. 

Imagine how it will be for a child who is instructed to fabricate evidence to favor one parent over the other and a child whose love is being bought by the accusing parent.

Imagine the circumstance of a child who is asked to fabricate evidence to police, and a child who as a consequence of these accusations will cause the arrest of her father. The child will carry the guilt of her father’s arrest for the rest of her life.

Not only will the child endure all that, the child will later on be stigmatized by guardian ad litem visits to their school.

A guardian ad litem is an attorney designated by the court to conduct an investigation and present the results and recommendations to the court is known as a guardian ad litem (or “GAL”). The child’s best interests are taken into consideration in the inquiry, report, and recommendations. The GAL represents the child and acts in his or her best interests. Every GAL has received training, education, and experience in relation to children’s needs.

Anyone under the age of 18, someone who is not legally competent (such as someone with a mental handicap), or someone who is incarcerated may also have a GAL appointed to represent them.

You have to think about the effect of painting another parent as a monster in the eyes of a child. Why would a parent do that? Isn’t all those mentioned above a form of child abuse?

Dealing With False Domestic Abuse Claims

The first thing to do is to start talking to your attorney. If you don’t have one yet, focus on getting the right person for the job. And then have a talk about the courses of action to take.

Talk about what you already know.

Give your attorney a background that can possibly be driving the accuser to make false statements or to lie. Any proof that a purported victim has a reason to lie is important. Independent evidence, such as letters, emails, or other documents from the victim threatening a custody dispute or suggesting they may claim abuse has occurred, is the most pertinent piece of information. Your attorney will be able to challenge general allegations with your information. Frequently, allegations of abuse are vague and broad, leaving out specific dates or times. Such claims can be contested as being too vague and insufficient to reach the standard of proof for demonstrating abuse happened by a preponderance of the evidence.

Recall possible witnesses.

Discuss with your attorney other people who may already know about the circumstances leading to the false accusations. When a divorce is imminent, it is usually a good idea to have impartial witnesses on hand when activities are scheduled that can potentially lead to confrontation. Even after a conflict, a witness can still be helpful by assessing the situation, looking for evident wounds, or assessing the behavior of the persons involved.

Check facts and inconsistencies.

Having a solid alibi for the incident would be the biggest contradiction. Is there independent proof that the accusations are false? Did you make a call at the disputed period that can be verified by telephone records or third parties? Do you have any store receipts, ATM receipts, work time sheets, or other documents that can show you were not available when the alleged abuse occurred? Discover any prospective witnesses who may have observed bruises or injuries from a domestic incident occurring prior to the claimed incidents?

Recall inconsistencies in behavior.

Who did the person contact after the reported abuse incidents? After the claimed abusive occurrences, did the victim permit parenting time? How long did it take from the claimed abuse episodes to the complaint to be made? After the reported abusive episodes, did the victim make the first friendly move? At the time of or soon after the claimed abuse incident, did the victim get in touch with anyone—police, parents, friends, or anyone else? When domestic violence is alleged, it may be important to emphasize the victim’s behavior was not consistent with how a victim would have responded.

Read the documents, check for inconsistencies.

The likelihood a person’s claims of abuse are inconsistent increases the more statements they make regarding the alleged assault. Point out to your attorney inconsistencies in the statements. Affidavits should be carefully compared to any police reports or other records available, including any statements found in child protection or medical treatment records.

Avoid fueling an already tense situation.

If you’re already facing a domestic abuse accusation, it is important to have the patience and restraint to lower the temperature of an already brewing marital conflict. If possible, remove yourself from situations creating conditions for confrontations. In terms of domestic abuse, keep in mind that what qualifies as a “threat of harm” is a matter of opinion. Even anything as benign as obstructing someone’s exit from a room so you can “talk about matters” might be regarded as domestic violence. It may be sufficient to create a semblance of domestic abuse by just jokingly tapping someone’s shoulder with a cellphone. These are impressions liable to be mislabeled as abuse.

Always remember people pushed to extremes can do so many crazy things like lying or making false accusations. You just need to have a very realistic approach to it rather than brushing them off. Your liberty and the welfare of your children might be at stake. It can severely affect your chances of a fair hearing when custody and parenting time negotiations come around.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

According to a survey of the National Center for Health Statistics under the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or CDC, there were 1,676,911 marriages in the US in 2020, suggesting a marriage rate of about 5.1 per 1,000 total population. In 45 states that participated, there were 630,505 divorces which shows 2.3 divorces per 1,000 population.

Click here to watch the video on How To Deal With A Vindictive Spouse During Divorce In Michigan 

Do you know the ratio of divorces for folks ages 50 and higher is 10 per 1,000 population? This shows the odds of divorce happening increases as you get older.

Michigan is a “no fault” divorce state. It doesn’t matter what is causing or driving the divorce, the courts will go through the process of granting it. The only thing that matters to the court is the best interest of the child in all the drama accompanying divorce cases.

Why the interest in the reasons for divorces if it doesn’t matter in Michigan courts anyway?

The reason for this interest is to give you context of what drives that one person to make your life difficult during the whole divorce process. When we say difficult, we are referring to the condition giving you the stress of pursuing divorce and pushing the cost of the divorce off your financial ceiling.

The one person in all of that is the vindictive spouse.

The Vindictive Spouse and The Reasons for Being

A really vindictive spouse can manifest their scorn for you in so many ways. You may be familiar with some of them such as:

• Refusing to adhere to court orders
• Lying or hiding assets
• Using the kids as a bargaining chip in the divorce
• Misrepresenting one’s ability to pay support expenses
• Avoiding joint parenting of children
• Causing the divorce to proceed with excessive lag
• Using coercive or intimidating methods during a divorce
• False domestic violence accusations
• Fabricated claims of child abuse
• Adopting irrational attitudes on simple issues

You may have good recognition for these drivers because a big chunk of them you probably contributed, intentionally or unintentionally. Reflect and look back what made your spouse evolve or transform to this individual you now call a vindictive spouse. You have to look back objectively because it can be a large portion of what will be a long talk with your attorney about what is driving this vindictiveness.

If you sum it up, the drivers of divorce (and seem to be true in high profile divorces) can be attributed to infidelity, unbearable financial hardships, physical abuse, and substance abuse.

To some, the outcome of divorce is not just extreme financial adjustments, it affects the general well-being of people.

Statistically, the experience of divorce or separation significantly increases your chances of dying by 23% due to the declining health immediately after a divorce judgment. Health wise a significant 10% to 15% do recover from the pains of divorce or separation. Resilience seems to be the key to surviving the challenges of divorce.

The Unique Opportunities for A Vindictive Spouse in the Divorce Process

We mentioned all those behaviors reflecting the manifestations of a vindictive spouse. Now all that behavior is going to be stalking you after the initial process of divorce.

The waiting period.

The waiting period is supposedly your cooling off period. For a vindictive spouse, cooling off may not be the best word to use considering all the things they are about to do to you and your pursuit of divorce. Your spouse may actually be in a seething scheming streak by being a difficult spouse at home or at work.

In Michigan, the waiting time is at least 60 days for a couple without children and 180 days for a couple with young children.

The rationale for the waiting or cooling off is to allow the couples to sort things out, think things through. The state still believes in preserving marriage. Your spouse may have the same idea about prolonging marriage but it may not have anything to do with preservation. The amount of time can be an opportunity to create “small” and “irritating” inconveniences for you.

While some of these waiting periods may seem excessively long, others can be shortened with the approval of both parties. The whole point is to give you time to think things through. You don’t necessarily have to cohabitate with your ex-spouse just because your divorce isn’t yet official. It simply means you are unable to be remarried at this time, and depending on when your divorce occurs, you might still be required to file your taxes jointly.

The filing of the complaint.

You or your spouse may have been very vocal about it. You may have already had a heads up that it’s coming. A vindictive spouse may want to have a satisfying experience of seeing your face when divorce papers come as a “surprise”. Surprise may be contextual in your case. It may come as a frown, a jaw-dropping, anger, exasperation but it will be satisfying for your vindictive spouse.

The answering of the complaint.

You can’t really be sure if your spouse’s attorney will appreciate it but your vindictive spouse may want to hold on to answering the complaint until the last minute. Your opposing party may want to act on practically any motion just in time just to keep the process lagging.

The temporary orders.

Your spouse may think it’s fun to ignore court orders just to keep you running  around in circles. A vindictive spouse is going to risk being cited for contempt just to spite you. Expect some of those orders to be defied. The lying part will come in handy when the court orders inventory of assets in preparation for property division. In the extreme the kids may even be used as bargaining chips during custody and parenting time.

The discovery phase.

This is where your vindictive spouse’s finest moments of lying and obfuscation will truly shine. You won’t get anything discovered literally because the spouse will be hiding things, uncooperative, and use delaying tactics in submitting relevant documents and information.

The mediation or arbitration process.

The whole point of being vindictive is to deliver aggravation. Make you aggravated. The goal of arbitration and mediation is to find common ground. The only thing common to a vindictive spouse is to put you on the ground. There won’t be a middle ground because the vindictive spouse will not give up or compromise.

In the process of pursuing this vindictiveness, the cost of divorce will go up. Everything will take time. Process will be circumvented forcing your attorney to do a lot of work arounds adding to the cost of serving you. You’re paying your attorney per hour aside from the usual retainers. Nothing will give your vindictive spouse more pleasure than seeing your face aggravated with all that billings.

What To Do, No Magic But This Will Do

There is no magic formula to get around a vindictive spouse. Your spouse is human. That human being is in pain. Maybe it’s because of you. Maybe it’s all their doing or undoing. There’s a whole industry or profession dealing with that pain; it’s called psychiatry and psychotherapy.

One, talk to an attorney.

Divorce is not going to need wizards. It needs attorneys. So the first right thing to do is get a good attorney who subscribes to the vision of what your divorce is going to be. We are always advocating this. Get an attorney in sync with your vision of how you want the divorce to be concluded for you and your spouse. Your attorney might even have a good experience about dealing with a vindictive spouse.

Two, have a heart to heart talk.

We know it will be hard. The word vindictive makes it hard. The talk should not focus on you and your wife but the kids. You need to try especially in a divorce involving minor children. You need to talk about the effect of the divorce process on the children and its ultimate outcome which is being separated from them at certain times. You will need to explain these things and you need to be in sync in making your kids understand. Not for your sake or your spouse but for the best interest of the children.

Three, worry about the financial future.

You need to worry about spousal support, about child support. You have to worry about having to live somewhere, having to find better means of earning because of the added expense of the divorce. You need to have a collaborative attitude to keep the lifestyle to keep the quality of life for your kids.

Four, be very conscious of your behavior.

You need to be deliberate about your behavior. You already have a very vindictive spouse going after you. Don’t behave in a manner adding more fuel to your spouse’s vindictiveness. You also need to have restraint because you might bring your reaction to your spouse with you. Your own kids might get exposed to your behavior reacting to your spouse.

Five, however desperate, don’t use your children.

In your exasperation, you might be tempted to bad mouth your spouse to your kids. Please don’t. It won’t be good for your kids and certainly it won’t help you with the court during the child custody proceedings. Don’t use your kid as a leverage to get to your wife like not allowing contact or restricting parenting time.

Six, take care of your emotional and mental health.

Yes it’s stressful already just considering divorce. It is made even more difficult by a vindictive wife. Find better and creative ways to manage your stress. If you need a therapist, we recommend you go ahead and get one. Find your center. Collect yourself so you can stay focused on what’s important.

Remember, ultimately the divorce process will end. Your ex will stay ex until you die (unless you want to remarry your ex before you die). You will have to work with your spouse to give a semblance of a normal life for your kids.

Your kids will never be the same again after the divorce. School age kids are known to feel anger about divorce. Their grades in school deteriorate. Children start withdrawing socially. Those younger will start regressing with sleeping and eating patterns changing erratically.

You will have to deal with your vindictive spouse not just for the expediency of the divorce process but because of its anticipated impact on your children post divorce.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel today for more advice on Family Law!

Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

If your PPO request was initially denied, should you resubmit it? The best action against abusive behavior is a PPO. A spouse may reapply if the conditions for domestic abuse or violence are met and are supported by documentation, even if a PPO was previously denied. Try again if you’re rejected. PPOs must be granted by courts anywhere, whether in Michigan or any other state, when someone feels they have been mistreated or abused by a family member, domestic partner, or another person. If the PPO is denied, try again.

Click here to watch the video on Can A Spouse Ask for A PPO Again If Denied In Michigan?

An order from a judge to cease threats or violence against you is known as a personal protection order (PPO). If someone is threatening, harming, bothering, or stalking you, a PPO can assist in defending you. If you have a justifiable concern for your personal safety or liberty, you may be eligible for a PPO.

There are three types of PPOs:

• Domestic Relationship PPO
• Nondomestic (Stalking) PPO
• Nondomestic Sexual Assault PPO

Spouse In His Insanely Abusive And Absolutely Lowest Being

Since you will be dealing with a spouse, the type of PPO you need is the Domestic Relationship PPO. 

To secure a domestic relationship PPO, you may need to put in effort to paint a picture in the mind of the judge of the possible harm, assault, stalking or harassment you are facing from your abuser. You must also provide evidence of your domestic relationship with the abuser.

The abuser is your domestic partner if they are:

• Your spouse, either present or former
• The other parent of your child
• Someone you currently live with or previously did
• One of your romantic relationships

A PPO for a domestic partnership may forbid the abuser from:

• Breaking into your home or another location
• Beating, abusing, assaulting, or injuring you or another person
• Threatening to harm or kill you or another person physically
• Removing your kids if you have custody of them legally
• Getting a gun or owning one
• Preventing you from transferring your children or personal belongings from a location that the abuser owns or rents
• Interfering with you at work or school, or acting in a way that damages your relationships with coworkers or your learning environment there
• Having your home/work address or phone number available in records pertaining to a child of yours both
• Following you or stalking you
• Injuring or threatening to harm an animal you own, taking the animal from you, or keeping it from you with the intent to cause you mental pain or control
• Anything else in particular that restricts your personal freedom or causes you to be fearful of violence

Although the judge will determine what your PPO would forbid, you may include specific protections in your petition.

The petition is used to provide the judge with critical information to help them decide whether to grant you the order you seek. Explain what the abuser has done to you and how you have been harmed as best you can. Try to recall the dates of seasons when the events occurred. You are not required to have police reports or other documents to obtain a PPO, but if you do, you should include them with your petition. They can assist the judge in comprehending what has occurred to you.

You Want the PPO Now Not Later

You may be concerned that the abuser will harm you if you do not obtain a PPO right away. You may be concerned the abuser will harm you if they discover you are seeking a PPO. If so, you can request an ex parte order, which is an emergency order. You won’t have to wait for a hearing if you get an ex parte order. The abuser will not know you’re requesting a PPO if you use an ex parte order.

If you do not request an ex parte order in your petition, the court will hold a hearing to determine whether you should be granted a PPO. If the judge denies your petition for an ex parte order, you can request a hearing within 21 days. In either of these cases, a copy of the petition and a notice of hearing must be delivered to the abuser. 

The abuser will be able to attend the hearing and respond to the information contained in your petition. In this case, the abuser will be aware that you are seeking a PPO before you are protected by an order.

What About A “No Contact” Order?

Aside from a PPO, there is another legal order you can use to prevent your spouse from having access to your person especially if your spouse has a run in with law enforcement causing a warranty of arrest is issued.

In a criminal prosecution, a “no-contact” order is typically a bail requirement. Usually, a “no-contact” order disallows your abuser from:

• Making calls to you
• Writing to you
• Making another person contact you.
• Contacting you directly

The judge has the authority to revoke or raise the bail’s amount if the abuser disobeys a “no-contact” order that is a requirement of bond. After a condition is ordered, it can only be altered by the judge.

A PPO is still necessary even if there is a “no-contact” order in a criminal prosecution. The bond with the “no-contact” restriction will be revoked and the abuser will be permitted to get in touch with you once more if the criminal charges are dropped. If a “no-contact” order is revoked, if you have a PPO, it might shield you from the abuser.

At the Circuit Court Level This Is How to Proceed If the PPO is rejected

You may not always get the PPO on some rare occasions, but in the event it does get denied, there are avenues to do it all over again.

Here’s what you do if your PPO is denied.

[1] Ask for a hearing date and time, get in touch with the Circuit Court Clerk’s Office.

[2] Fill out and submit the Clerk’s Office Notice of Hearing on PDF Personal Protection Order Form.

[3] Fill up and submit the PDF Circuit Court Order.

[4] Organize the delivery of the Notice of Hearing, PPO Petition with Questionnaire, and Praecipe to the opposing party by:

• Personal service (can be performed by a process server or another adult). Or,
• Using certified mail & restricted delivery (send the PPO to the “respondent,” who was the target of the PPO).

What is a Praecipe? 

Latin’s praecipe means “to command.” A petition is a written motion or request asking the court to take some action, most often a trial or the entry of judgment. In terms of common law, it is a writ directing a defendant to take a certain action or to provide justification for their inaction. Federal, state, and municipal laws on praecipe differ by region influence policies.

Don’t Take Chances, Always Carry Your PPO Papers In Your Person

Maintain a copy of your PPO and Proof of Service at all times. A backup copy should be stored securely. To distribute extra copies of the order to your children’s schools or daycare facilities, your employer, and other people who should be informed about it, ask the clerk of court.

Given the numerous instances of assault and stalking committed against women, this is a particular worry for them. More than 25% of women in Michigan claim to have been raped at some time in their life (this includes perpetrators who may be known or unknown to them).

Throughout Michigan, nearly 42% of women will experience rape, physical violence, and/or stalking in their lifetimes, according to a report on violence against women and children. Victims don’t always seek out legal police or medical treatment.

Your risks of being harmed by the abuser may increase if you leave an abusive relationship or seek legal counsel. It can be beneficial to prepare in advance for your protection. If you feel endangered, your safety plan may specify where you will go or who you will call. It may contain crucial contact information, an escape route, and a list of essentials to take with you when you leave the abuser.

For assistance considering your safety alternatives and creating a safety plan, get in touch with your neighborhood domestic violence organization, the Michigan Coalition to End Domestic and Sexual Violence, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

For as long as the conditions for abuse or possible harm exists, the PPO is a legal way to prevent someone you know, like a spouse, from inflicting harm or posing a threat to your person or your child. 

If you are denied, file it again. Ask help from your attorney.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel today for more advice on Family Law!

Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

Generations of children born outside of marriage are being produced through marriages and relationships today. Who Has Parental Rights When Parents Aren’t Married In Michigan? 

Click here to watch the video on Who Has Parental Rights When Parents Aren’t Married In Michigan?

In Michigan, it is assumed that the mother is the woman who is giving birth in the relationship. To even define his relationship with the child, the father must still claim paternity. Since he must first establish paternity, the father may need to consult a lawyer before discussing parental rights and custody. Your lawyer may discuss the DP code’s child custody procedures while making reference to the case’s paternity difficulties. Your attorney will submit a petition to conduct a paternity test in order to prove fatherhood.

Wife or Husband: Are You A Parent?

In the context of parental rights, who is a parent? Legal parental responsibility and authority are viewed as belonging to both biological and adoptive parents with regard to their children. Parental rights allow parents and other legal guardians the authority to affect how their children are raised.

Parental rights include assuming custody of the child or children on a legal and physical basis; having specific visiting and contact rights; transferring possessions as an inheritance; signing a contract on behalf of their minor child or children; and making decisions about important issues, such as:

• Education;
• Religion; and
• Medical interventions and health care;

Parental rights are intended to safeguard, protect, and ensure the wellbeing of a child or children. The laws governing parental rights vary significantly from state to state. However, a court’s interpretation of parental rights will be based on what is best for the child.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other family members, however, typically lack parental rights. However, if they have been granted legal guardianship of the minor child or if they have officially adopted the child, they may have parental rights.

Legal guardians frequently have obligations and rights that are similar to parental rights despite not being parents.

Don’t forget your step dad. In the US, between 10 and 20 percent of children had at  least one stepparent. The legality of stepparent rights in shared custody situations is a challenging discourse for stepparents.

Stepparents can influence young children and assist the biological parent with their tasks. However, they do not automatically acquire any rights or obligations as a result of a marriage. For the children of the biological parent, stepparents are virtually “legal strangers.”

A parent or guardian of a minor child may name a different individual as the temporary beneficiary of a power of attorney transferring parental responsibility, as provided for under a Michigan law. 

Just as there are parental rights, there are parental responsibilities. Child custody is one form of parental responsibility. Parental responsibilities can come in the form of ensuring a secure atmosphere for living, defending the kids from threats like abuse, providing the required child support, supplying the fundamental requirements of the kids like food, water, and shelter, discipline, investing in their education, understanding their interests, and simply being there for their needs

Paternity: I Am Your Father!

Since 2008, the percentage of births to unmarried mothers in the United States has risen from 4% of all births to more than 40% annually. This growth has been accompanied by an increase in the proportion of biological fathers who are not married to their children’s mothers.

Birth fathers have attempted to establish their rights to their children as society has become more accepting of nonmarital children, including whether to parent them, maintain a relationship with them, and exercise consent in the adoption process.

If the parents are not married, the child’s mother must sign and file a document called an “Acknowledgement of Parentage” before a man can be legally acknowledged as the child’s father. This document, which is legally enforceable, notifies everyone that the mother and father agree that the guy is the child’s biological father.

According to Michigan law, if the mother and father of a child born out of wedlock are unable to reach an understanding regarding the child’s parentage, the father has the option of filing two different documents to defend his parental rights. 

The “Notice of Intent to Claim Paternity” is what he would submit first. In the event where the father is concerned about the minor child being put up for adoption. It may be especially crucial to submit this before the child is born.

In addition, a father has the option of delaying filing a paternity lawsuit with the Circuit Court until after the baby has been delivered. If a DNA test is required, a court order can be obtained after the paternity case has been filed requiring the mother, father, and the minor child to appear for testing.

Can Parental Rights Be Terminated?

Courts tend to lean towards having both parents in the life of the child for the obvious need to ensure financial and emotional support, but parents can lose parental rights. 

You can voluntarily give up your parental rights if someone else wants to adopt the child or if a petition to do so has already been filed (typically by a different family member or by a governmental agency like Child Protective Services). If you want to have your rights terminated in these situations, you might need to appear at a court hearing.

Another option for ending parental rights is by the parent’s own volition. The court will almost certainly view giving up your parental rights as a bad idea if you’re trying to avoid dealing with a child’s behavioral issues or trying to avoid paying child support.

The court may decide to terminate parental rights if the child’s welfare is in danger. The steps the court must take before deciding to terminate will vary depending on the state you reside in. However, ensuring a secure family environment and the child’s best interests will always be the deciding criteria.

Be aware that when parental rights are terminated, you no longer have parental responsibility for the child and your legal rights are removed. A parent-child relationship no longer exists.

Child support is no longer required, but there are also no longer any visiting rights, and the child can be adopted without the consent of either parent. The decision to revoke parental rights is treated seriously by the courts due to the value placed on the parent-child bond.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.