What If Both Parents Are On Birth Certificate But Not Married In Michigan

A typical family is one in which the parents are wed and have kids. Both parents are assumed to share custody in the event of a custody dispute. What if neither parent is wed yet is listed on the birth certificate? Although the woman is presumed to have custody by the court, the father’s parental rights are still valid. 

Fathers may be granted custody or parenting time. To obtain it, the father only needs to activate it. If parents are not married, paternity is not recognized. A process exists allowing a father to exercise his paternity rights and go through the procedure.

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The laws governing child custody, parenting time, and child support change slightly for single couples compared to married ones. If you have a child with someone you are not married to or if you are married with a child and considering divorce, it is crucial to be aware of these disparities. What if both parents are on the birth certificate but they’re not married.

In Michigan, the birth certificate, which serves as the child’s official record of birth, is often created in the hospital where the infant is delivered. It is not used to prove paternity.

[a] If the woman is married at the time of conception or delivery, her husband’s name will be shown as the child’s father on the birth certificate.

[b] If the mother is not married at the time of conception, the baby’s birth, or if the mother has never been married, paternity must first be established before the father’s name can be inscribed on the face of the birth certificate.

Unmarried parents should be aware of three things about Michigan’s paternity laws.

  • Why It’s Important to Prove Your Child’s Legal Paternity
  • When parents are not married, how do you prove legal paternity in Michigan?
  • How to Draft Parenting Time and Child Support Agreements in Michigan that Are Legally Binding

 

Primary Custody and Paternity

Unmarried parents are subject to slightly different child custody regulations. For instance, regardless of paternity or whether an Affidavit of Parentage exists, the mother will continue to have primary custody of the kid unless a custody order is obtained by the father.

In other words, unless the mother consents or the father initiates a paternity suit and wins the legal battle, he will not be granted visitation rights.

The legislation stipulates support for a child must come from both biological parents. The Michigan Child Support Formula is used to determine how much child support is given. This formula takes a number of things into account. This support are but not limited to the following:

  • health protection
  • income ranges
  • the number of kids
  • parenting and education

In other words, whether a person is married or related to the other parent, if they are the child’s biological parent, they must support the child. A paternity test is necessary to determine whether or not someone is a biological parent if it is unclear.

The rights listed below are given up by fathers who sign an Affidavit of Parentage:

  • The option to undergo genetic or blood tests to establish his paternity.
  • The right to have a lawyer who has been assigned by the court represents him when a judge decides if he is the biological father.
  • A trial to discover whether he is the biological father.

These are highly significant rights, and before signing the affidavit, the father must fully comprehend them and feel confident to waive them.

 

Child Custody and Parenting Time Requires Paternity

The mother is granted primary custody of the child by the affidavit of parentage; the father is not given visitation rights. The father must file a custody case with the relevant Court in order to assert his rights to custody and parenting time. An enforceable court order pertaining to child support, custody, and parenting time is known as an Order of Filiation and was filed with the court. To enforce his rights to custody and parenting time, a father needs this order or something comparable.

The Affidavit of Parentage has certain clear advantages. The signature of the father certifies his paternity for the child. He can exercise his rights to custody and parenting time by having his name added to the child’s birth certificate.

By choosing not to sign an Affidavit of Parentage, a father does not get rid of his need to pay child support. If a father refuses to admit he is the child’s father, he will not be forced to pay support. However, the mother or the State of Michigan may file a child support lawsuit first. A mother might start her own legal action to prove paternity and ask for a child support ruling.

According to Michigan law, the father of a child born outside of wedlock has the option to file two distinct documents in order to safeguard his parental rights if he and the child’s mother are unable to reach an agreement over the child’s parentage.

He may start by submitting a “Notice of Intent to Claim Paternity.” If the father is concerned that the child may be given up for adoption, it may be extremely crucial to submit this before the baby is born. In addition, a father has the choice to wait until after the baby is delivered before bringing a paternity case before the Circuit Court. A court order can be issued following the filing of the paternity action requiring the mother, father, and the minor child to come for testing if a DNA test is necessary.

 

Custody Arrangements and Parenting Agreements: The Ties That Bind

While it is true that previously mothers were most often granted custody, circumstances are changing, and legally recognized dads now have the ability to file proceedings seeking sole or joint custody of their children as well as actions requesting visitation (officially known as “parenting time”).

Unmarried fathers are now more successful than ever in their pursuit of joint or exclusive physical custody, or at the very least, orders permit them to spend meaningful time with their children.

After establishing paternity, a father will need to take additional legal steps to get a new parenting arrangement. But, bear in mind that if the child’s mother is married to another man, that man will already be presumed to be the child’s legal father, making it extremely challenging for a biological father to establish paternity and win custody rights.

When determining custody arrangements, the courts are required to act in the children’s best interests. However, courts also acknowledge it is not always in the children’s best interests to continue to live with their mother.

The easiest scenario for a custody settlement is for both parents to concur. As long as a custody arrangement is in the child’s best interest, courts will often approve it.

If a child custody arrangement cannot be reached by both parents, the court will decide for them. The court will make decisions on visitation, legal custody, and physical custody. This basically means determining which parent the child will reside with and when a parent without physical custody will have time with the child. 

The court may give one parent sole custody or give both parents joint custody.

Before the child is even born, every father needs to be proactive and have a plan in place to enforce his parental rights. An unmarried father can overcome his legal difficulties and concentrate on enjoying fatherhood by receiving legal advice, being aware of his rights, and having a plan in place.

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How Many Times A Week Should A Father See His Child In Michigan?

Both parents should spend as much time as possible with their children in a happy marriage. It’s not even fair to ask about how frequently a father should visit his child. Children already experience confusion and stress as they adjust to a divorced life. Both parents must let the other parent see their children. Parenting time should not be restricted by any of the parents. 

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The current focus in Michigan is on assisting the children in adjusting to a divorce situation when parents frequently interact in separate residences.

In a divorce, custody dispute, or other family court issue, a custody and parenting time order may be made. Parenting time and custody have a significant impact on your children’s living arrangements, frequency of visits with each parent, and decision-making for them.

The only people who can be granted custody and parenting time are legal parents. Legal parentage is conferred upon the individual who gives birth to the child. If you are married to the parent who gives birth, you are the child’s other legal parent by default in Michigan. Even if you are not the biological father of the child, this is still true.

Until you take specific actions to prove your paternity, even if you are the child’s biological father but you’re not married to the mother at the time of the child’s birth or conception, your paternity claim won’t hold water.

 

The Truth About Child Custody 

Legal and physical custody are the two sorts. Legal custody entails having the authority to decide on issues significant to your children, such as their education, their religion (if any), and their main medical care. Living arrangements for the children are referred to as physical custody.

Sole custody indicates that just one parent has custody; joint custody means both parents share custody.  When parents have joint legal custody of their children, they must come to key choices together. Children who have joint physical custody spend some time with each parent.

Early on in the case, the Friend of the Court will decide on the initial custody arrangement. Based on the information received from each parent, the Friend of the Court will make a recommendation. The right to oppose this recommendation and to convince the judge that a different order or recommendation should be made is then available to each party.

A child custody arrangement can also be reached through negotiation between the parties; if the judge determines that it is in the children’s best interests, the judge will approve it.

If there has been a change in circumstances or there is good cause, child custody might be changed. The change must be for the children’s best interests. It is incumbent on the party requesting the modification to provide proof that a change has taken place, that a valid reason exists, and that the proposed change is in the children’s best interests.

You must convince the court you can handle the time and you sincerely want to raise your children if you want to be granted extended parenting time. Get as involved with your children as you can before your custody hearing, and keep detailed records of everything you do. Stick to a schedule that works for you and your children.

Even if you disagree with a court order, you must obey it. Assemble your proof and witnesses. Present this evidence to the judge in court. Demonstrate why spending as much time with you as feasible is in the children’s best interests.

 

The Truth About Parenting Time

In Michigan, the time a child spends with each parent when they do not share a residence is referred to as parenting time. When one party is granted sole physical custody, that parent often receives more parenting time or time with the child than the other parent. Even though it is not a requirement, parenting time is frequently equal or nearly equal when parties share physical custody.

Instead of having parenting time supplied for specific days and times, “reasonable parenting time” allows parents to arrange parenting time as they go without a predetermined schedule. If there is a disagreement about what constitutes adequate parenting time, you must ask the judge to rule on the matter in a motion.

There is a schedule in place if you are given certain parenting time. If conversing with the other parent of your child is something you feel comfortable doing, you might be able to reach an agreement on a parenting time schedule. If the two of you are unable to agree, the court might instead set a timeline.

The relationship between the infant and both parents is crucial to the development of the child. Parents should take into account a schedule allowing the infant frequent contact with both parents because infants have limited memory spans. Frequent parenting time of several hours a couple of days each week may be more suitable initially, in cases when a parent is unsure of how to provide basic care for the baby or feels uncomfortable doing so. All parenting time should be regular and cause the baby’s routine as little disruption as possible.

Raising a child in two different households can be very difficult, especially when dealing with stepfamily members and conveying changes in the child’s life. It can also exacerbate discrepancies in parenting and disciplinary methods. A parenting time schedule aids in providing stability and predictability for both parents and children. 

Additionally, it might give both parents the chance to actively engage with their child. Healthy parent-child interactions can promote a child’s growth, academic success, and general mental wellness.

Parenting time typically functions best when parents can come to an agreement on a timetable that is in the best interests of the child. The most painful experience of their childhood is frequently cited by adult children of separated parents as losing contact with a parent or witnessing conflict between their parents or other caregivers.

In addition to the schedule, a parenting time plan addresses other details including how to communicate schedule changes, how to move the child’s clothes or toys back and forth, and more.

The State Court Administrative Office of Michigan published The Parenting Time Guideline in February 2021 and updated it just recently in March 2022.

The Parenting Time Guideline is aimed at parents, although judges, court personnel, mediators, lawyers, and other professionals involved in parenting time conflicts may also use it. 

 

How Many Times A Week Is Good Parenting Time

If you’re a typical worker in the U.S. you’re probably working 12 to 16 hours a day. If you add an average of 6 to 7 hours of sleep you’re basically doing everything else an average of 3 to 4 hours a day on weekdays. Just leaves you most of the weekend to see your kids. If you’re taking parenting time seriously, you really just have weekends and 3 to 4 hours a day for your kids. It’s basically eating time or taking them to school or getting them home on weekdays.

Like what the science says, your child will need an average of 9 to 11 hours of sleep in a normal household, whatever that means today. In Michigan, according to the State Education Practices, your child will spend 6 hours of school work excluding lunch and recess on school days. So where does that leave you in terms of juggling your 3 to 4 hours a day supposedly for your parenting time?

Whatever you do, however good you are at parenting (or bad), you really just have 24 hours a day to work on it. In real terms you have at most 3 hours a day unless you’re the custodial parent and you’re working from home.

Amazingly, both the parents and the children have an identical number of hours for carefree time or playtime. It’s 3 to 4 hours a day, not counting weekends.

There is no parenting course in college nor in high school. Nobody ever took a bachelor’s degree just to get married or be a parent. You need a guide. Maybe a course or some similar training. We can’t recommend specifically what course or if there’s even such a course or curriculum. What we are sure of is The Parenting Time Guide published by the State Court Administrative Office of Michigan provides suggested guides and framework for parenting time.

It’s not a question now of how many times a week but the quality of every moment you spend with your kids. The state or the court will probably impose more time if it was possible. The court also understands you need to make ends meet because you have child support to worry about. Get all the help available to create the highest quality encounter with your children. There are electronic calendars and software to plan parenting time. There are suggested templates in the Parenting Time Guideline published by the state of Michigan.

Everyday parenting time is great but the more practical approach is to negotiate weekends and holidays. Most of the parenting time plans are mostly based on those.

It’s not how much time you can put in but how much you can make use of.

A father will have to make do with what available time he has. He needs to make each of those spare 3 to 4 hours a day count or come up with great weekend and holiday moments. It won’t really work if you’re not collaborating with your ex in the parenting schedule.

There’s many ways to go about it but the first step is work on your parenting time plan. Work with your attorney in seeing to it your parenting time plan gets integrated into the parenting time order.

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How An Uncontested Divorce With Children Works In Michigan

Divorce proceedings can be either contested or uncontested. The divorce process takes into account whether a marriage had children or not. So how does a Michigan uncontested divorce with children work? Regardless of whether a divorce is contentious or not, the procedure remains the same. 

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You and your spouse must agree on parenting time, child custody, child and spousal support in order for your divorce to be uncontested. Since no party is objecting to any party’s proposal, you are in complete agreement on those matters. In every divorce settlement, the most difficult issues are usually those involving property distribution, parenting time, child custody, and spousal support.

 

The Truth About Divorce With Children

You’ve finally made up your mind and you’re going to start your path to ending your marriage.

Filing the complaint.

You are the Plaintiff in a divorce case, and your husband is the Defendant. When the Plaintiff serves a summons, a complaint, and other necessary papers to the court, the divorce case officially begins.

You must serve or mail copies of your completed paperwork to your spouse after you file it. Typically, service is performed by having someone hand deliver the documents to your spouse personally or by mailing to them via registered or certified mail.

The answer to the complaint.

If your partner wants to take part in the divorce proceedings, they must promptly serve you with a copy of their Answer after filing it with the court. If they were personally served with your Summons and Complaint for Divorce, their deadline is 21 days following receipt of the documents. They have 28 days to file and serve an answer whether they were served by mail or outside of Michigan.

The document known as the Answer addresses each section of your complaint for divorce. Your spouse should detail in the response which portions of your complaint they concur with and which aspects they find objectionable.

This is the part where you might want to think about speaking to an attorney if your spouse files an answer and you don’t agree on all of the key divorce issues.

Default and the default request.

If your spouse fails to submit an Answer by the deadline, you must submit a document called a Default Request and Entry, have the clerk sign it, and mail your spouse a copy.

The court will dismiss your divorce case if your spouse fails to timely file and serve an Answer and you fail to timely file a Default Request and Entry. To keep your divorce proceeding, the Default Request and Entry form must be submitted.

When you file the Default Request and Entry form and the clerk signs it, your spouse is “defaulted,” which means they are not allowed to participate in the divorce proceedings. They may have to ask the judge first to set aside the default, before the judge grants their request.

The divorce judgment.

You will be able to petition the judge to enter a divorce judgment with the terms you wish, without consulting your spouse, if your spouse defaults and they do not submit a request to set aside the default. This does not necessarily imply that the judge will accept your suggested judgment. 

Your divorce agreement must still be fair and legally binding. For instance, the custody plans must be in the children’s best interests and the property allocation must be equitable.

The waiting period. You might still want to reconsider.

A six-month waiting period is required if you and your spouse have children together before your divorce may be finalized. Even if you and your husband were already separated when you filed for divorce, the waiting period starts when you do. Your divorce may take longer than six months if you and your husband can’t agree on everything.

If you can convince the judge that it would be unusually difficult for you or your children to wait the full 180 days to finalize your divorce, the judge may reduce the waiting time. For more compelling reasons, the judge may potentially cut the waiting period short. The judge is not permitted to reduce the overall waiting period below 60 days.

You can’t wait. You want the waiting period to be shorter.

You must submit a motion if you want to request the judge decrease the waiting period. Fill in the Notice of Hearing and Motion, and Order forms. These are forms available in the local court.

Title your motion “Motion to Waive the Statutory Waiting Period” and describe in the body of the motion why there is an urgent need to stop the divorce before the end of the full waiting period due to unusual hardship or another reason.

Request a hearing date from the court clerk when you file your paperwork there. At least nine days prior to the date of your hearing, you must mail a copy of everything you file to your spouse. To prove you served your spouse with a copy of your motion, fill out the certificate of mailing section and submit it to the court. Bring the completed top portion of the order to the hearing.

You can try mediation.

During the waiting time, you can be advised to attend mediation to assist you and your spouse in settling the disputed matters in your case. Examples of these matters are property and debt division, child custody, etc.. A mediator is an impartial party who assists you and the other party in trying to reach a compromise. If you consent to mediation or if the judge requires it, you can be referred there. There can be a cost. A mediator might be a private or Friend of the Court mediator. If this is an uncontested divorce, ideally you should not be needing a mediator.

You can also try arbitration.

If there are aspects of your case that you and your spouse can’t agree on, you two may decide to proceed with arbitration. Arbitration is an optional procedure. This means that in order for arbitration to take place, all parties must consent to it and agree on the specific topic or issues the arbitrator will determine. For the arbitrator to hear and resolve their case, the parties must pay a fee. In an uncontested divorce, you also should not be needing an arbitrator.

You might reconsider and dismiss the divorce case.

If you can easily agree on supposedly contentious issues, you may want to hold off on divorce. You and your spouse can decide you don’t want to divorce while your divorce is still underway. You can file a Dismissal form without your spouse’s signature if you filed a complaint for divorce and your spouse didn’t respond or file a motion in the case. You can only file a dismissal if both you and your spouse sign it; otherwise, your spouse will have already filed an answer or motion in the case.

In summary, you have several paths to ending your marriage, you could settle your divorce in one of the following ways:

[1] If your spouse doesn’t submit an answer or take part in the case, a default judgment will be rendered.

[2] Through negotiated agreement, in which you and your spouse jointly determine the terms.

[3] Through a mediated settlement, in which you and your spouse consult with a mediator and make the arrangements

[4] Due to your inability to negotiate a compromise with your husband, a court will decide the case through a trial.

You can ask the court to sign a proposed Judgment of Divorce after a default, an agreement, or a trial. You and your ex-spouse will be required to follow the court’s orders regarding child custody, parenting time, child support, spousal support (alimony), and the distribution of your marital assets and debts once the judgment dissolves your union.

 

The Uncontested Divorce

You and your spouse must concur on all divorce-related matters in order to get an uncontested divorce. This covers potentially contentious problems like visitation and custody of your children, alimony, child support, the division of your marital assets and debts, tax matters, and any other matter relating to your marriage.

When you can resolve a dispute on your own, you frequently save money and time by avoiding the need for attorneys, traveling to court, and giving up control of the decision-making process.

Both spouses should already agree and collaborate on the following:

[1] Child custody.

[2] Parenting time.

[3] Child support.

[4] Spousal Support.

[5] Property division.

Always remember that if you don’t agree on any of the above, the court takes over. You won’t have much to say about the outcomes as the divorce process progresses. Do your due diligence because there are guidelines for each. Go through those guidelines together and find your common grounds. Your respective attorneys are all too familiar with the guidelines for each.

Put special focus on child custody, parenting time, and child support because there are a lot of things the court considers non negotiables. Check the guidelines on the best interests of the child and the established custodial environment (ECE). Instead of finding a work around, collaborate to ensure you can sustain them.

It will really take a savvy family law and divorce attorney to walk you through every phase of the divorce process, especially the most contentious processes such as spousal and child support, child custody, property division, and parenting time. Your attorney must see the divorce from both sides and come up with equitable agreements so contentions can be resolved out of court.

Using Michigan’s streamlined process known as a “summary proceeding for entry of consent judgment” allows you to file the divorce papers jointly with your spouse and skip some of the steps involved in the usual process of initiating a divorce case. This procedure is the easiest way to get an uncontested divorce when you and your spouse have a settlement agreement and are working together.

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Can You Have A Quick Divorce In Michigan?

In Michigan, is it possible to divorce quickly? Quick is a relative term in Michigan. Very brief marriages could be over quickly, while lengthy divorces might take longer due to the numerous issues that need to be resolved, including property distribution, parenting time, child custody, and spousal and child support. In Michigan, there is a statutory waiting period before filing for divorce, and it might not be as short as you think. 

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Every divorce has a different waiting period, depending on whether you have young children or not. Since there is no quicker method to get around the waiting time, you could choose to celebrate first and get married afterwards if you’re planning to get married sooner than what the waiting period can allow.

 

A Quick Browse of The Divorce Process in Michigan

The divorce procedure starts when one spouse files for divorce in the local Circuit Court where the parties reside with a summons and complaint. 

You have 91 days from the date of your original filing to serve the other party; there are several ways to do this. You can choose to have a police officer, a professional process server, a friend or relative, or even the mail serve you personally.

The filing fee for a divorce is paid in the local court.  Additionally, divorce petitions are also submitted to the court at this time. One of the parties must have lived in Michigan for six months and the county for ten days before filing, according to state law.

The other party must be served with the divorce documents after the petition or complaint is filed. The opposing party can be given a copy by a third party, or your spouse can acknowledge help in front of a notary public.

If you and your spouse are unable to reach an agreement on all matters, the court will determine who will receive what. This sometimes takes up to 30 days. In a contested divorce, this could be a long drawn out endeavor if the opposing parties are fighting over each of the elements of divorce such as child support, parenting time, spousal support, and division of marital assets.

You will file your final paperwork with the courts, and your divorce will be declared official once the final hearing has taken place or the waiting time has expired.

Depending on your situation, you might be able to hasten the divorce procedure.

The kind of divorce you’re having will have an impact on the duration of the whole divorce process.

 

So, What Kind of Divorce Are You Having?

In Michigan, there are typically two divorce options: contentious and uncontested. 

When a couple cannot come to an agreement on all or some of the matters pertaining to ending their marriage, a divorce is contested. The couples will eventually need to go to trial to have a court resolve the issues for them if they are unable to overcome their differences at some time during the formal divorce procedure.

In contrast, when you have an uncontested divorce, you and your husband have already settled the problems, so there is no need for a trial. An uncontested divorce will also be far less expensive and quicker than a traditional, contested divorce if you can come to that understanding before filing for divorce, or at least early in the process. This is due to the fact that you can avoid drawn-out and costly court fights over every dispute.

Many couples discover they can handle the uncontested divorce procedure on their own and frequently turn to a do-it-yourself approach rather than employing attorneys.

You and your spouse must agree on all relevant matters in order to be eligible for an uncontested divorce, including the following:

[a] The distribution of your assets and liabilities, including each spouse’s claim to retirement benefits and life insurance funds

[b] Whether one spouse will provide alimony (sometimes referred to as “spousal support” in Michigan), the amount and duration of the support, and

[c] All issues involving any minor children you may have, including coverage for health and dental insurance, visitation rights, child support, and child custody.

When you and your husband have a settlement agreement in place and are working collaboratively, this process is the easiest way to obtain an uncontested divorce. You can use Michigan’s streamlined procedure, known as a “summary proceeding for entry of consent judgment,” to file the divorce papers jointly with your husband and avoid some of the phases in the standard divorce process.

In Michigan, there is this simplified procedure, referred to as “summary proceeding for entry of consent judgment” allowed under Michigan Court Rule 3.223 (MCR 3.223 Summary Proceeding for Entry of Consent Judgment or Order).

As on April 1, 2019, this new rule allows for the filing of a joint petition with the court for a more family-friendly divorce procedure without designating either side as the Plaintiff or Defendant. According to the new court rules, a hearing may be arranged after at least 60 days have passed since the case was filed, at which both petitioners must appear and testify in order for the signed court documents to be admitted. 

Based on the facts of each case, the assigned Judge will evaluate each case separately to decide whether cases involving minor children must wait the required six months before proceeding or whether an order to waive this requirement may be authorized. The divorce may be granted in cases without minor children after 60 days.

 

How Long Is Quick Divorce?

In Michigan, there is a required waiting period after you petition for divorce before the court will set the hearing necessary to obtain your final divorce judgment. The minimal waiting is 60 days if neither you nor your spouse is the parent of any minor children. However, if you do have children, you would typically have to wait six months before getting a hearing.

You may ask the court to schedule the hearing after the 60-day minimum waiting period has elapsed if waiting that long would cause an unusual hardship or if you have another urgent need to finalize your divorce sooner than six months.

The Michigan statute governing the 60-day waiting period is MCL 552.9.(f). Additionally, the same provision of the law also outlines the six-month waiting time that is required when a minor child is involved.

You can generally get divorced pretty quickly after the waiting time has passed if you have an uncontested divorce we mentioned earlier, which means you and your spouse have reached an understanding regarding all of the legal matters involved in ending your marriage. How long it actually takes is primarily determined by how busy your local court is and how long it takes to arrange a hearing.

If your divorce is contentious, the procedure may take much longer. When divorcing couples disagree, it triggers a series of legal processes taking months to complete. Depending on whether they’re finally able to negotiate their differences or they have to go to trial, it’s not uncommon for a contested case to take a year or more to conclude.

The moment one of the two opposing parties officially files for divorce, the clock starts running.

However, for a divorce to move forward quickly, both parties must normally be prepared to cooperate in order to settle any pertinent issues. For instance, property division and spousal support are two frequent issues divorcing spouses must resolve even when there are no children involved. It can frequently be a very challenging and drawn-out process. Furthermore, parents usually take far longer to decide on child support and custody arrangements when children are involved. 

Therefore, while a divorce can be completed quite fast in theory, it usually entails more time to finish the entire procedure if you’re dealing with a contentious divorce. The only real path to a quick divorce is an uncontested one.

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How Long Does A Father Have To Establish Paternity?

When a relationship ends poorly, it’s not uncommon for the mother to keep the father in the dark about her pregnancy. He is not someone she wants in her life. Dad learns of the child’s existence years later and wants to be involved. How long does it take a father to prove his paternity? A year or three? Is there more? Due to the existence of the revocation of paternity rule, a father may decide against taking action.

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In the first three years of a child’s life, a father has the right to revoke fatherhood. Most responsible people choose to build a relationship and prove paternity. The father may bring a DP lawsuit or bring a motion to establish paternity through his counsel. Parental rights and parenting time are not subject to any time limits. The courts would favor establishing the parent-child relationship.

 

Revealing The Importance of Establishing Paternity

It’s critical for a child born to parents who are not married to establish a legal father. It grants the child the same privileges and rights as a child of married parents.

These privileges and advantages include:

Identity. Children should be familiar with both of their parents. The child gains a sense of identity as a result.

Family ties. A relationship with both parents is something that each child is entitled to. The child might learn about both sides of the family. The child will have a sense of belonging because of this.

Financial support.  State statutes require both parents to provide support for the children. Even if the parents don’t live together, they can still split the cost of raising the child. When both parents contribute financially, the chances of all of the children’s requirements being satisfied increase.

Benefits. A child is eligible for support from both parents. These may consist of:

[a] Inheritance rights

[b] Health and life insurance

[c] Social Security

[d] Pensions

[e] Veterans’ benefits

Benefits are crucial in the event that a parent passes away or becomes handicapped.

Medical information. If there are any health issues in the family, it can be crucial to understand both biological parents’ medical history.

 

The Truth About Paternity At Birth

The mother’s husband is the child’s legal father if the mother and father are already married at the time of the child’s birth or the woman becomes pregnant.

If the parents are not married, they must take some action to prove paternity. When parents are not married, there are two basic approaches to prove paternity:

[a] Parents who are not married can voluntarily establish paternity. This indicates that they consent to naming the child’s father; or

A child born to an unmarried mother can willingly have his paternity established by his parents. They can confirm the man is the biological father by signing a paper stating as much. Even if he is married to someone else, the man can still sign the document.

The Affidavit of Parentage or “affidavit,” is the formal name for this document.  It is also referred to as AOP. The Affidavit of Parentage is the DCH-0682 form.

They are the child’s legal parents if both unmarried parents sign the affidavit and it is witnessed or notarized by a qualified witness or notary. To prove paternity, no one needs to visit their local family court.

[b] Parents who are not married might seek their local family court to assist in proving paternity. Paternity testing involves using DNA.

After the baby is born, a DNA paternity test is conducted. Parents shouldn’t sign the affidavit if they are unsure of the biological father’s identity. Parents should speak with the Office of Child Support instead to request assistance with DNA paternity testing.

If a man is a child’s biological father, it can be determined by DNA paternity testing. A further step is required to make the man the legal father if the test reveals he is the biological father:

[c] If the parents go to their local family court, the judge will rule that the man is the child’s legitimate father.

What is the implication of signing the affidavit of parentage?

The affidavit is an official document. Parents acknowledge the following when they sign the affidavit:

[a] Unless the local family court or the parents reach a written agreement to the contrary, the mother has custody of the kid. When one parent is granted custody, the child will reside with that person.

[b] Either parent may submit a request for parenting time or custody at their local family court.

[c] If one parent wishes for the kid to be adopted by another person, the other parent will be informed.

[d] The child needs the support of both parents. Parents must abide by a court judgment for child support.

After the child is born, the parents can either sign the affidavit there or at a later date, any place. Parents must have a legitimate photo ID on them when they sign the affidavit. In addition, a qualified witness or notary public must sign the affidavit. The parent’s signatures and photo IDs will be verified by this individual.

If the affidavit is signed immediately after the child is born at the hospital, the original birth certificate will name both parents as the parents. The parents’ signatures can usually be witnessed by or notarized by hospital staff. The parents won’t be paying anything.

Parents must obtain a certified witness or notary to sign the affidavit if it is signed later. The hospital had already produced the birth certificate. Therefore, the parents will need to request the father’s name be added to the birth certificate from the state vital records office. To make this alteration to the birth certificate, parents must pay a fee.

Here is another important thing.  The parents by signing the affidavit of parentage waive the following rights:

[1]  Order a paternity DNA test.

[2]  Have a court-appointed attorney represent one or both of them in a paternity case.

[3]  Have the biological father’s identity determined at trial.

 

Your Window In Establishing Paternity

The establishment and revocation of paternity are subject to certain rules. You can avail of this rule first and foremost, within one year after the day the AOP was signed, or within three years of the child’s birth, whichever is later, a motion for revocation of paternity must be submitted.

The filing of extension for revocation of paternity can only be allowed under the following circumstances:

[a] Error in fact

[b] Newly obtained evidence that, with appropriate diligence, could not have been located sooner

[b] Fraud

[c] Misrepresentation or improper behavior, or

[d] Duress

If you suspect you have a claim for paternity, you can refer to the following laws in Michigan for making your case:

The Summary Support and Paternity Act

Under the Summary Support and Paternity Act, a Title IV-D Agency may submit a paternity action to the court. This enables the organization to identify a parent-child relationship and locate a source of financial support for children receiving public assistance. Once paternity has been confirmed, the court will order the father to pay support and may also award custody and parenting time.

The Michigan Paternity Act

In situations where the claimed father denies the parent-child relationship with a child, the Michigan Paternity Act outlines a process for establishing paternity. Legal action is therefore necessary to establish the foundation of the parent-child relationship. According to the Michigan Paternity Act, the plaintiff must file a paternity complaint stating the man she believes to be the child’s father and must claim whether the child was conceived under specific circumstances. The following people are eligible to bring a paternity suit under the Michigan Paternity Act: the mother, the parent of a child born outside of marriage, and the Department of Health and Human Services or DHHS.

The Acknowledgment of Parentage Act

The Acknowledgement of Parentage Act permits parties to prove paternity through written acknowledgment in cases when they are in agreement regarding the matter of paternity. An acknowledgment of paternity is signed by the mother and father and submitted to the state registrar. However, this is not the end of the process for a father seeking rights to custody and parenting time. According to the Affidavit of Parentage, the mother has custody of the child up until a court decides otherwise. Therefore, in order to obtain legally binding rights to custody and parenting time of that child, a father who has signed the Affidavit of Parentage must do so after filing a Complaint for Custody.

The Genetic Parentage Act

The Genetic Parentage Act also allows for the use of genetic testing to determine parentage. As a result, a DNA sample from the supposed father will be tested by an accredited laboratory, and if the results show a 99% or greater possibility of paternity, the person is recognized as the child’s father. Unmarried couples may opt to have the treatment, which is voluntary. If the issue of paternity is unresolved and no adoption proceedings have been initiated, couples who request the procedure under Title IV-D of the Social Security Act may also be able to establish paternity by genetic testing.

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I Don’t Want To Pay Child Support Or Alimony

Hearings, property division discussions, custody arrangements, parenting time, alimony payments, and child support obligations are all stages of the divorce process, especially if you have minor children. Before you start saying that you don’t want to provide alimony or child support, take some time to grasp what that means. Income plays a key role in decisions for alimony (spousal support) and child support.

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Since most divorcing couples want to cut off all ties to their former, they would prefer to settle the case without having to make recurring payments. There is more room to hash out alimony or spousal support agreements. However, in the case of child support, the courts may set up proportionate and recurring payments but will not accept non-payment. It won’t be about not paying it—child support is required—if you want to get around it. Sanctions are imposed if you don’t pay, and they are very severe! Consult your lawyer to learn the level of concern the court has for child support.

 

The Truth About Spousal Support

In Michigan, either spouse in a divorce can ask for spousal support, we used to refer to this as alimony. A payment made by one ex-spouse to the other during or after a divorce is known as spousal support. Spousal support is intended to make sure that each spouse can meet their financial obligations both during and after the divorce process.

Michigan provides four types of spousal support: temporary, periodic, permanent, and lump-sum (spousal support in gross amount).

The court will decide what form of support is most appropriate for your circumstance if you are eligible for it. The only time temporary support is provided is while the divorce is pending. In contrast to lump-sum support, which is paid all at once, permanent support is paid over an extended period of time in equal installments.

For partners who for some reasons are unable to sustain themselves during the divorce process, temporary support is offered. When filing for divorce, either party may ask for temporary support; however, the court will only provide it only if it deems necessary.

In some cases, temporary assistance is referred to in court as “status quo” payments. For instance, if your husband has consistently made mortgage, utility, and car payments, the court can require that they do so even after you file for divorce.

In cases where there is a need and a large disparity in income, the court may additionally give temporary support in addition to the status quo payments. When the judge completes the divorce and issues a new support order, temporary support and status quo orders often expire or the court integrates the interim award into the final judgment.

The most typical form of support in Michigan is periodic support, which a court may provide for a short time (called rehabilitative support) or a longer period. In situations where one spouse is capable of supporting themselves but not right away, periodic support is commonplace.

For instance, the court may grant periodic spousal support for a period of time to give the recipient time to acquire professional skills or complete a degree that will enable the spouse to become financially independent in circumstances where one spouse gave up a career to raise a family or support the other’s career.

In Michigan, permanent spousal support is increasingly becoming the exception rather than the rule. It is only awarded in situations when the parties were wed for a long time and the recipient spouse is unable to become financially independent owing to age, illness, or disability.

Although uncommon, lump-sum support is appropriate in situations where one spouse is able to pay the whole support award in a single payment. Lump-sum payments are frequently made in the form of personal or real estate instead of cash. There is no ongoing requirement to provide periodic payments in biweekly, monthly, or annual payouts to an ex-spouse. This is the advantage of lump-sum support. The drawback is the paying spouse will have to make an upfront payment of a substantial lump sum of cash or valuable property.

The income of each spouse has a significant impact on how much alimony is awarded. The receiving spouse should be able to maintain a residence and a decent level of life, according to the court’s goal in making an award. Additionally, it can include a payout for legal expenses the receiving spouse has previously covered.

Although judges in Michigan are not required to follow a “formula,” some courts base spousal support awards on the child support formula and other factors. But when making a final order, the court has a great deal of discretion.

 

The Truth About Child Support

Every child requires both material and psychological support. Every child is entitled to both parents’ assistance. To support their child, parents must collaborate even if they do not live together. Children are given the opportunity they need and deserve to realize their full potential when both parents are actively involved.

Child support is money that a parent pays to support their child when they are not living together. The support is mandated by a court. Payment for education costs, child care costs, and other related expenses can all be considered forms of support. The court order for support could include the following: divorce, paternity action, child custody action, family support action, and intergovernmental action.

The reason courts in Michigan may not take a lenient view of non payment of child support since there are alternative ways to get assistance for child support.

IV-D child support services are available to parents or custodians who need assistance with establishing, collecting, or paying child support.

The Social Security Act’s Title IV-D (pronounced “four-dee”) established the child support program and established the guidelines that all state child support systems must adhere to. The child support program, also known as the “Title IV-D program” or the “IV-D program,” provides assistance to parents and custodians in determining and enforcing child support and medical support. After a child support order is established, the case can be subject to court expenses.

If each of the following conditions holds true, a person may be eligible to receive child support:

[a]  She is either the parent or the guardian of a minor child or who is in charge of a little child.

[b]  The person’s home is where the minor child resides.

[c]  The minor child depends on that individual for financial support.

[d]  The minor child’s parents do not cohabit with the minor child, either.

[e]  Child support payments have been mandated by the court.

The following services are provided by Michigan’s Title IV-D child support program:

[1]  Finding  parents.

[2]  Proving paternity.

[3]  Setting up judicial orders for paying child care, medical, and maintenance obligations.

[4]  When necessary, changing (modifying) court orders.

[5]  Enforcing judicial orders requiring payment of child support, medical expenditures, and child care costs.

[6]  Collaborating with other states, nations, and tribal groups to establish and/or enforce child support obligations where one parent does not reside in Michigan or owns property there.

[7]  Processing child support payments after they are collected.

The child support program in Michigan does not offer these services:

[a]  Assistance with divorce.

[b]  The creation of a spousal maintenance (alimony) order.

[c]  The enforcement of spousal maintenance in the absence of child support.

[d]  Legal guidance or advice.

[e]  Support for parenting time and custody

The child support program aids families in achieving or maintaining financial independence. Michigan’s child support program assists a kid in receiving monetary support, medical support, and assistance with child care costs by working with both parents to obtain and enforce support orders.

 

So You Don’t Want To Pay Child or Spousal Support

You’re a parent paying child support and you have disagreements with your ex. Added to that your ex is giving you a hard time in terms of keeping your parenting time. You feel you want to stop fueling the advantage of your ex by simply stopping payment for child and spousal support.

This is a very understandable sentiment. Frustration and exhaustion can cloud our judgment and put us in a bad place. You don’t want to be making rash decisions about not paying child or spousal support at the moment.

Take a deep breath and slow down.

By now, you probably met the Friends of the Court already. You might even have asked for assistance along the way during the course of the divorce. Now, the Friends of the Court is also the office your ex will go to in the event you stop paying spousal or child support. 

They have many ways of enforcing collection and payment. All of it will not be pleasing to you. You might even stop calling the Friends of the Court as friendly after they enforce any of those many ways of collecting payment.

Let’s walk through most of them currently being used.

Income withholding. The Michigan State Disbursement Unit receives deductions from your paycheck for both current and past-due medical and child support obligations. There are more sources of income that must be withheld as well.

Pension fund (s). Both state and federal pension schemes, as well as private pension plans, are subject to support orders.

Offset of tax refunds. Federal and state tax refunds may be withheld to pay for past-due support after it exceeds a certain amount.

Surcharge. A judge may order that a semi-annual interest surcharge be added to the amount you currently owe if your child support payments are in arrears.

Lien/levy. Your real estate, personal property, insurance claims, and other financial assets may be the subject of a lien or levy.

Bench Warrant or Show Cause. You may be required to appear in court to defend your actions if you don’t pay child support or medical expenses on time. You might just find yourself in a holding cell pending your court appearance.

Felony or criminal charges. Yes, things may indeed become this nasty. The county prosecutor may be tasked with handling your case. It’s possible to be charged with felony non-support. This is serious jail time.

Denial of a passport. Don’t make foreign travel arrangements just yet. Just $2,500 in unpaid support might result in your passport being denied or canceled.

Report on credit. When you apply for a loan, your credit score may be negatively impacted if you fall more than two months behind on your payments, which is reported to a consumer credit reporting agency.

License revocation Several types of licenses, including driver’s, hunting, fishing, and professional licenses, may be rejected, suspended, or canceled after a two-month payment delay.

The effects of not paying child support can be felt in almost every area of your life. Along with the financial consequences, driving legally, traveling internationally, practicing a profession, and even going fishing may all be impacted.

When you’re entertaining the thought of not making good on your child and spousal support payments, please talk to your attorney first before making your decision final.

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Reasons To Change Parenting Time In Michigan

Parents should ideally agree on the times they can spend with their kids. However, certain changes at home or in the classroom may compel parents to adjust their plans in order to take into account those changes taking place around the child. These could also imply adjustments to the schedules of the parents’ various jobs or businesses. The court must be informed of any changes in circumstances, together with any attempts to modify parenting time to take these developments into account.

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Changes or circumstances that don’t occur frequently in the lives of the child or the parent may not interest the court too much. A mediator can be chosen to resolve this dispute if the parents are unable to reach an agreement. To change parenting time, you would need to ask your attorney to submit a request.

 

Some Truths About Parenting Time You Need To Know

There is no established plan for parenting time. At the request of either one or both parents, the judge may alter it. Either the Plaintiff or the Defendant in the ongoing family dispute may be the parent who submits a motion to modify parenting time. The moving party is the parent who is filing a motion or complaint. The Respondent is the other parent.

Depending on the sought adjustment, the judge will decide whether to modify an existing parenting time order.

Look at your court order’s provisions first if you wish to alter your parenting time schedule. The parenting time schedule in your court order may include specified times when each parent has the child or children. The ruling may also simply state that there will be fair or regular parenting time. The parents must agree on the specifics of the timetable after having reasonable parenting time. Dates, times, and any other terms relating to acceptable parenting time shall be determined by agreement of both parents.

If you presently have adequate parenting time but are unable to settle on a timetable or if you wish to alter a previously established specified schedule, you may want to adjust parenting time.

For parents who need to develop a parenting time schedule, the “Parenting Time Guideline” produced by the Friend of the Court Bureau is a useful tool. Sample schedules are included in the guideline that you may use as a place to start. Additionally, it contains details about how parenting time relates to the developmental needs of kids at various ages. The Guidelines cover a variety of themes, including how to handle domestic abuse situations, parenting time with a prison-bound parent, and long-distance parenting arrangements.

Check to see if the other parent of your child will accept the change. You do not need to file anything with the court if your current parenting time arrangement is appropriate and the other parent is on board with the adjustment. Even if the other parent is in agreement, the judge must nevertheless provide his or her approval if your order specifies a parenting time plan. Until a new order is signed by the judge, a schedule-based order is in force.

Without filing a motion, the court can be asked to sign a proposed order if both parents agree to alter a particular parenting time arrangement. If the judge doesn’t request one, there won’t be a court hearing.

You can submit a Motion Regarding Parenting Time in your family case if the other parent does not consent to the modification you desire. A valid reason or a change in circumstances must exist for the judge to reevaluate parenting time. Depending on the type of change you request, different things count as proper cause or a change in circumstances. It will be more difficult to demonstrate than if you ask for a smaller modification if the quantity of parenting time you desire truly affects custody rather than parenting time.

 

Common Reasons to Change Parenting Time

During your divorce processes, it’s crucial to establish and uphold child custody and visitation schedules, but in reality, things change through time. While the “best interest of the kid” is at the center of custody and  parenting time agreements, those interests change as your child’s circumstances change. Changes in parenting time also accompany life changes.

When your children get older, their interests and hobbies will differ from those at the time of your divorce. Your visitation schedule might need to be adjusted according to the changes in their lives.

The Michigan court will constantly take “the best interest of the kid” into account and strive to establish a secure, nurturing environment.

Here are some of the common reasons for changing parenting time.

Change in Circumstances

You must demonstrate a change in circumstances justifying this modification if you want the court to grant an order modifying visits. A major change that has a significant impact on the circumstances surrounding the child’s custody since the last custody agreement constitutes a change in circumstances. Even though Michigan courts have shifted to a more lenient standard for changing visiting arrangements, hiring a qualified attorney is essential to protecting your rights. A court order modification will help protect your rights and determine what is in your child’s best interest if you and the custodial parent are unable to cooperate.

Custodial Parent Moves

The custodial parent could occasionally want to relocate. The visitation schedule will be significantly changed as a result. The following factors will be taken into account by the court when deciding whether to allow a parental relocation up to 100 miles away from the child’s residence or to another state:

  • Will the parent and child’s quality of life be improved by the move?
  • Are the current parenting time opportunities practical and maintain the bond between the parents?
  • Is the non-custodial parent putting up a fight against the move to gain financial leverage over ongoing child support obligations?
  • Has visitation been followed, or is the custodial parent asking for the move attempting to thwart the parent who wants to visit?
  • Are orders for substitute visitation likely to be followed by the custodial parent?
  • Is domestic abuse a problem?

Requests for parental relocation are challenging to find, implement, challenge, and avoid. You can work with the court to establish what is in your child’s best interests with the aid of an experienced attorney.

Liberal and Reasonable Visitation

While on the surface it sounds like a great approach for the parents to sort out visiting challenges as they come up, the court may on occasion award the non-custodial parent “liberal and reasonable visitation,” but this could cause more annoyance than a set visitation plan. It could be prudent to bring this matter to the court’s notice if you and the other party are always fighting over what “liberal and reasonable visitation” entails. The court may intervene if you believe you should have weekend visits every week and no weekday visits, whereas the custodial parent believes every other weekend visits and no weekday visits are fair and reasonable.

Change of Visitation or Custody Hours

The court established precise custody and visitation plans at the time of your divorce. In practice, parents frequently change these arrangements. The parents will modify the court’s schedule if there are any work-related concerns or if there is an event. Things go well when both parents are ready to make this work. when one parent refuses to follow the court’s orders or makes it difficult or impossible for the other parent to comply with their visitation schedule. The court should get involved, for instance, if you are given visitation every other weekend but the custodial parent prevents you from seeing your child.

Any of the above reasons can put a proposed change in parenting time justifiable but it must always be argued in the context of the best interest of the child to be considered by the court. 

 

How Is Parenting Time Modifications Decided

One or both parents may ask the judge to alter it. A schedule for parenting time is not fixed in stone. In the ongoing family law proceeding, the parent who files a move to modify parenting time may be either the Plaintiff or the Defendant. The moving party is the term for this parent. Respondent refers to the other parent.

Depending on the type of modification requested, the judge will decide whether to alter an existing parenting time order.

Step 1: The Judge Determines Whether the Motion Can Be Considered in 

You must understand when court starts altering parenting time, they are aware it could result in any of the following:

[a] Alter the established custodial environment (ECE) for your child.

[b] Modify the frequency or duration of parenting time.

[c] Add, modify, or eliminate a parenting time requirement such as supervision or drug tests.

Step 2: The Judge Evaluates the Best Interests of the Child

The judge will determine whether it is in your child’s best interests to adjust parenting time to what you or the other parent wanted if the case moves past the preliminary stage. The Michigan Child Custody Act’s best interest considerations will be taken into account as the judge evaluates the evidence put forth by both parents and applies the proper standard of proof. The judge may also take parenting time considerations into account.

If the parenting time modification will affect the ECE, the court will require clear and convincing evidence the changes to parenting time is in the best interest of the child. If the requested change does not affect the ECE, the court will only require preponderance of the evidence.

When working with your attorney in citing the best interest of the child for the justification to change parenting time, remember this.

Because the clear and convincing rule requires more evidence than the preponderance standard does, it is more difficult to persuade a judge to adjust parenting time if the change would have an impact on the ECE. If the requested parenting time changes will not affect the ECE, the standard of proof the court will require is just preponderance of the evidence.

The judge must take the child’s best interests into account even if the change would not have an impact on the ECE. However, the judge should only take into account the factors that are related to the disagreements between the parents.

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Threats Being Made To My Child During Custody Case

Threats can have a variety of meanings to different people. If you believe that the threats that have been made against your child in connection with a custody dispute are justified. Be sure to reconsider. If a kid doesn’t finish their homework or gets a C in class, a parent can threaten to take away their video games or their telephones. Those are the kinds of threats that are in the child’s best interests, even though the court may not give them much consideration. The court will seriously examine threats that could harm or injure the child physically, mentally, or emotionally.

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Threats against children are interpreted differently by the courts. Parents must consider everything from the viewpoint of the child’s best interests, as courts will always advocate. It is viewed as a threat to the child’s safety if any of the factors are subverted for particular reasons. If you want to have a fair hearing about threats made against your child, consider the best interest factors first the next time you wish to consider threats.

You have to avoid behavior with a high likelihood of being misunderstood such as speech or behavior when you admonish or punish your child. You also need to avoid being labeled unfit to be a parent.

 

What Monumental Mistakes To Avoid In Reprimanding or Admonishing Children

Disciplining our children is a prerogative of parents. We are sure you don’t want them to become “bad people” when they grow up. Because we all want our kids to grow up feeling confident and good about themselves, we might refrain from punishing them out of concern it will make them feel insecure. However, it’s crucial to reprimand inappropriate behavior, so striking a balance is a smart idea.

But here’s some cautionary advice. Granted we all agree discipline is necessary and we do have the right to enforce certain measures to instill discipline, we still need to be cautious as to what should actually happen before, during, and after we enforce discipline.

Here’s some things to avoid.

Not listening to your children.

Giving your child your full attention and demonstrating your concern is crucial. Pay attention to them as they recount what occurred. If they always act out when they are envious, this is a fantastic chance to talk to them about their emotions and coping techniques. This can also be an excellent approach to spot certain behavioral patterns.

Labeling your kids.

Children already feel hurt being admonished. Labels can hurt them even more. Saying things like “You’re a horrible girl” or “You’re a stupid boy” can have a negative impact on how your children view themselves, and children who feel bad about themselves are more likely to act out. Instead, be sure to distinguish between their actions and who they are as people. Remind them that they can still be excellent kids who just made a poor decision.

Ignoring recurring issues.

You can patiently assist your children in finding solutions to their issues. Encourage them to think more broadly by providing them with various points of view. This is quite useful for handling circumstances frequently causing problems for your kids. When their solutions are successful, you should congratulate them since it gives them a great sense of empowerment.

Not explaining problems or issues.

Children need to have a hint of the root of a problem. You can gently open the discussion by saying, “I know you didn’t mean to…,” which will convey to your child that you are aware of their good intentions despite their error. Then you can add a “but” and describe how their actions affected the situation. They are reminded they are not bad people by focusing on how their activities affect other people, and it may inspire them to consider the effects of their acts more carefully in the future.

Not moving forward after resolving an issue.

Children can’t change what they’ve done, so constantly reminding them of it might make them feel terrible about themselves. Dwelling on the past never helps anyone. Instead, you could assist them in developing a strategy for how they might put things right. Asking children questions like “What can you do to make them feel better?” may encourage kids to practice recognizing how to fix their errors.

Not making it about learning and focusing more on discipline.

Put learning, not punishment, at the center of your discipline. Give them a punishment for their behavior and let them know it’s for their own benefit to learn never to do that again. Tell them there will be opportunities for them to try again and improve in the future. Singling out one child can make them feel like a victim, therefore it’s important to punish everyone who was involved when it’s impossible to identify the offender.

Too much shouting or too many hurtful words.

There’s already too much scientific evidence suggesting the effect of verbal abuse and harsh words. According to research, screaming makes children feel terrified and insecure, which might make them act aggressively. The long-term impacts of insulting a child might include low self-esteem, anxiety, and violence. Though they may have misbehaved, your child will still feel loved and welcomed if you remain calm.

Too many public admonishments.

Don’t do it in public. Keep it at home. Try to reserve any punishment for the home environment. Scolding your child in front of others can make them feel ashamed, which might cause them to become socially awkward as they become older and harbor anger against their parents. Any parent wants to avoid this at all costs!

Not acknowledging improvements and achievements.

We’re afraid our children are growing fast. Actually, they are not. They grow in small increments, small moments in which you can turn into great or horrible memories. It’s important you teach your children they can delight you as a parent. You can see both their improvement and the effort they’ve put forth. Recognizing your child’s development or the person they’re “becoming” is really a unique present to give them. It shows them you still have faith in them despite how much they mess up.

The reason why we need to remind you to be conscious about your methods of discipline is because people or your ex can accuse you of being a threat to your children or label you an unfit parent.

 

You Don’t Want To Be Called An Unfit Parent

You don’t want to be labeled an “unfit parent”. It’s insulting, it hurts, and even when we know they might be right, it will still hurt to be labeled as one. The hard work that comes with being a parent is undeniable even for those who try and fail. It’s a job designed in 24-hour packages with no breaks.

If you are labeled as an unfit parent, you are a threat to your own child. You become the greatest threat to your child by your mere proximity.

What does an unfit parent look like, sound like or act like or don’t act like.

An unfit parent is one who, via their actions, fails to give their children the right direction, attention, or support. A parent will also be found unfit if they have a history of abuse, neglect, or drug misuse. Most often, Child Welfare Services are involved when a parent is determined to be unfit, and there may be a safety plan or an open, ongoing investigation against the parent.

Poor track record in child care.

All information relevant to child care should be exchanged, and both parents should have access to dependable child care. There should be a solid track record of ensuring the wellbeing of the kids. Additionally, each parent must be capable of caring for the child alone without assistance. When it comes to raising the kids, one parent shouldn’t rely too heavily on the other. A change in custody may be required if the child is continually dependent on help, whether it comes from the co-parent or other family members.

A personal history of substance abuse.

You can request a change in your custody arrangement if you have proof that one of the parent’s substance abuse problems is having an impact on the child. In order to protect the child’s safety, the court may issue orders restricting a parent’s use of a substance, even if it is lawful, like marijuana. The depth of the substance abuse can be determined by ordering substance abuse assessments.

A personal history of child abuse.

Child Protective Services or CPS’ frequent involvement in a parent’s home may indicate custody needs to change. Child Welfare Services may have conducted an extensive investigation into a home to determine whether or not abuse or neglect need to be established. They will provide an immediate safety plan if they have a concern, which you can present in court to request emergency custody orders. CPS Involvement is a crucial symptom to watch out for even though it isn’t always a sign because cases can occasionally be closed without an inquiry.

A predisposition to domestic violence.

You cannot treat the other parent cruelly or abuse him or her emotionally. Even if the child is just a mere witness to domestic abuse, it is still harmful. A parent finding himself or herself a victim of abuse can avail of resources. Courts have a range of resources or approaches in curtailing the incidence of domestic violence. The most common of these resources is a restraining order. Another option for the court is to order the abuser to take domestic violence classes. A corollary option is to impose psychotherapy for the abuser. Or, the court can simply modify the custody arrangement to reduce the interaction of the abuser with the abused parent or children. A child should never be allowed to watch passively domestic violence in action.

Failure in setting age appropriate limits.

Parents may not always agree on age-appropriate restrictions, but it may be a warning sign if one parent is tolerating extreme situations. A joint legal custody should be an opportunity to be making decisions jointly. They should be focusing and having some agreements as to what are age appropriate activities for their kids.

Failure to compromise and lack of ability to resolve conflict.

Co-parenting is difficult. Throughout the divorce, you must be reasonable and cooperative. Positive co-parenting requires a lot of effort on both parties’ parts, but it is possible. You must communicate and reach a compromise. Your child will sense it if one parent frequently disparages the other or if every choice is the subject of a dispute. One parent may be given decision-making authority under a new custody arrangement if there is insufficient cooperation and positive decision-making.

Lack of social activities involving children.

Social activities the child participates in with both parents are crucial because they foster positive interactions and memories. Parents must protect their kids from social issues that can have a detrimental effect on them. These socializing issues could be keeping them away from neighbors or their friends.  Their capacity for social interaction may also be hampered by frequent confinement indoors. A child may suffer if one parent disapproves of their participation in or their attendance at their child’s extracurricular activities.

Inability to foster a positive attitude towards children and the other parent.

The child should not be taught to despise the other parent since it is crucial that both parents support and promote good relationships between the child and each parent. Respect for the other parent must be fostered by each parent. Before visits, a child’s behavior or expressions of worry may be a clue that something has to be done to mend the relationship. It’s crucial to pay attention to the child’s input and take appropriate action. Both parents must act and communicate in a way that prevents the kids from feeling uneasy or fearful around the other parent.

Failing to understand and to respond to your child’s needs

Both parents must make their child feel heard and cared for. Both the child and the parents have a difficult time already navigating two different households. Whatever house they are in, it is crucial children feel they can actually communicate. A parent must react appropriately and seek assistance when required. All of these elements of a solid partnership are crucial.

Really, in the end, you just need to look after the best interests of your children. Your attorney is going to encourage you to do it. The court will find a way for you to make it happen.

 

You Can’t Go Wrong When You Have Best Interest In Mind

We’ve always been mentioning this here in our Legal Blog. If you want to know what is the best environment and circumstance for a child, always look into the twelve factors used as a basis for measuring how the best interest of a child is best served.

According to The 2018 edition of the Custody and Parenting Investigation Manual published by the Friend of the Court Bureau of the State Court Administrative Office explains these 12 Child Custody Factors for the benefit of investigation teams authorize to conduct investigations related to resolving custody and parenting time issues as embodied in MCL 722.23.

In instances involving minor children, judges take these twelve factors into account, particularly what is in the child’s best interests. The criteria may be applied in disputes over child custody, visitation rights, and guardianships of minors.

Based on the provisions of MCL 722.23 here are the twelve factors considered in determining the best interests of the child.

Factor (a): The love, affection, and other emotional ties existing between the parties involved and the child.

Factor (b): The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the child love, affection, and guidance and to continue the education and raising of the child in his or her religion or creed, if any.

Factor (c): The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to provide the child with food, clothing, medical care or other remedial care recognized and permitted under the laws of this state in place of medical care and other material needs.

Factor (d): The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment, and the desirability of maintaining continuity.

Factor (e): The permanence as a family unit of the existing or proposed custodial home or homes.

Factor (f): The moral fitness of the parties involved.

Factor (g): The mental and physical health of the parties.

Factor (h): The home, school, and community record of the child.

Factor (i): The reasonable preference of the child, if the court considers the child to be of sufficient age to express preference.

Factor (j): The willingness and ability of each of the parties to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent, or the child and the parents. A court may not consider negatively for the purposes of this factor any reasonable action taken by a parent to protect a child or that parent from sexual assault or domestic violence by the child’s other parent.

Factor (k): Domestic violence, regardless of whether the violence was directed against or witnessed by the child.

Factor (l): Any other factor considered by the court to be relevant to a particular child custody dispute.

Parents may not always agree on the specifics of how to use parenting time. Since these factors will be used to look at both parents, they may have to learn to work together so both parents can get what they want, which is a fair amount of time to be with their kids. They will have to work together.

Co-parenting becomes necessary in this situation, and you must have faith that your partner is running the home sensibly.

A child needs to know both parents are interested in him or her. It’s difficult for a minor child of divorced parents to navigate two different households, just as it is for the parents. It is crucial your children believe they can communicate no matter which house they are in. Is a parent responding appropriately and getting help when it’s required if there seems to be a disconnect?

These are all crucial elements of a solid partnership. You need to be aware of these factors, not only for the self serving reason of being with your children. You need to realize, the courts are dead serious about them, especially in Michigan. 

Don’t take our word for it, ask your attorney.

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Gray Divorce & Preparing To Be Alone

A gray divorce is one that occurs when a couple that has been married for a long period decides to divorce. Although some people might find it offensive, it is a recognized idea in the legal community. You will go through the process of separating assets, living apart, leaving the marital home, and being alone, just as in any divorce. When your spouse passes away, you have no control over the situation and cannot choose to separate; as a result, you must grieve and spend the remaining years of your life alone. 

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Living alone forces you to deal with loss and subsequently forces you to look forward to being alone, just like losing someone in death does. Have you given any thought to how living alone may affect your life? Your lawyer will assist you with the legal aspects of your divorce, but they will also give you space to consider what life will be like after the divorce. Speak to your attorney. Speak to someone trustworthy who has had a gray divorce.

 

What Should Gray Divorce Be For You?

The population as a whole is aging. In Michigan, more than 50% of the population is currently 50 years of age or older. In Michigan, 25% of the population is 60 years of age or older right now. More than 2.46 million individuals in total. Baby boomers make up a sizable chunk of our demography.

If you have seriously thought about going for divorce when you’re past 50 years old, it is best to look at the following things you need to consider from your perspective:

What Is your income going to look like after the divorce?

Compared to when you were 20 or even a few years ago, your earning possibilities may be very different at 50. Different talents are in demand on the market. Depending on your individual circumstances, you or your spouse may be approaching your prime earning years. In contrast, it’s possible that you or your spouse’s skills are aging and that future income will be significantly lower.

Can you cover your medical expenses, do you have health coverage?

If you won’t be eligible for job benefits and aren’t close to being eligible for Medicare, managing your healthcare and health insurance may create considerable issues. The Affordable Care Act’s (ACA) Individual Health Insurance and COBRA can fill the gap.

How is retirement going to look like for you?

No matter how many zeros are in your combined 401(k) and IRA balances, having your nest egg sliced in half intensifies your financial difficulties. The possibilities for breaking them up and potential innovative approaches to tax minimization become more complicated the more accounts you have.

How is your mental health or well being right now?

The possibility of cognitive, other, or addiction issues having a detrimental effect on decision-making might also be present in cases of older couples going through divorce. In some situations, you might even need to think about hiring a guardian or conservator.

Do you still need to provide support for family members? How will your divorce affect your children, your family?

If you’re financially supporting children, you face additional challenges. If necessary, talk about these with your attorney, spouse, and children. Equally significant are the emotional and social repercussions that a parental divorce may have on the engaged adult children. Consider whether even a few counseling sessions might be beneficial for everyone and don’t take this for granted. Even if it’s peacefully resolved, divorce is difficult for everyone involved.

Do you have clarity as to what will be life after divorce?

When a couple divorces after many years of marriage, they are faced with not one, but two significant sources of uncertainty: the prospect of living alone and the uncertainties surrounding the usual retirement age. What do you actually hope to achieve in this new life you have chosen? What does a typical day in that new life feel and look like? Who do you want to have in that life—friends, family, or contacts from the workplace? Give it some thought and imagine your ideal existence in as much detail as you can.

 

The Truth About Being Alone After A Gray Divorce

In a study published in the National Institute of Health, it revealed the following:

It’s uncertain whether the rate of divorce among older people will increase further or if the rise is only a result of the experiences of the generation that grew up during the dramatic rise in divorce rates in the 1970s.

Due to the rapidly aging population, even if the rate stays the same over the next 20 years, the proportion of older individuals who will get divorced will increase by a third in 2030.

Due to the fact that widows and widowers typically receive greater financial and social support than divorcées, gray divorce may be more harmful than widowhood.

Gray divorce may be less harmful than widowhood because, at least for the initiator, the move to divorce frequently involves deliberate decision-making while widowhood is unavoidable.

It is also unknown whether gray divorcees benefit from repartnering more or less than widows or widowers. Repartnering may benefit divorcees more than widows or widowers because they frequently experience more financial hardship and receive less social support. On the other hand, divorcees frequently feel betrayed by their ex-spouse and struggle to build trust in their new relationship. Repartnering may therefore enhance divorcées’ mental health less than that of widows or widowers.

Using data from the Netherlands Kinship Panel Study (NKPS), it showed that older persons who are married, whether in first or higher order marriages, those who divorce later in life, or what is frequently referred to as “gray divorce,” may be more likely to experience loneliness.

People who divorce early in life may be more likely to remarry or cohabit with a new spouse than those who split later in life. Additionally, they might have more chances to rebuild their social networks with new partners, making them less prone to experience loneliness.

 

Preparing For A Life Alone After A Gray Divorce

Living a life of being alone after divorce seems not only inevitable but almost like a scientific fact. Your expectations must meet your new realities. Loneliness is going to follow you soon enough. Your ally is preparation. A change of scenery but more importantly a change in mindset is necessary.

 Find Someone You Trust To Provide You Emotional Support

We’re not suggesting finding a new partner because a new partner seldom fits the bill of replacing the void a married life has left post-divorce. You just need someone you can talk to and someone you are willing to commit to listen when that someone also needs a sympathetic and empathetic ear.

Have A Financial Plan

Know the cost of living life after divorce. You may need to stick to a budget which consists of daily living expenses, rent or mortgage, mobility, and other expenses approximating your lifestyle prior to the divorce. The court would have been fair enough to ensure you get a fair share of your property division and spousal support. Still you need to make sure there is a steady stream of income to support you through the rest of your life.

You Have To Deal With The Loneliness That Follows

Whether you admit it or not, a certain feeling of loss comes after the divorce judgment is announced. It may hit and sink a bit slow but it will hit you like someone has died. There will be visible changes already. A new place. A new community. Less contact with former acquaintances and friends from a former life.

You’re not grieving the death of someone, you are grieving a life you have lived. A part of who you are, the part you spent a time with someone you have loved and valued. Honor those moments. Give yourself time to grieve so that feeling of loss will not drain your energy.

You Have To Replace Your Daily Routine And Activities

Your former life was filled with activities and moments tied to someone else’s routine. It is now time to own your own space, your own time, and your own routines. Find a purpose to wake up everyday. Some get a pet. Some go back to school or find a hobby.. Or actually go back to the workforce. The latter can be a challenge without serious and deliberate preparation.

Loneliness Is Inevitable

Like what we have mentioned in studies conducted about people who underwent gray divorces, loneliness can seep in very quickly. You need to know loneliness is a moment you can control. Find other things to do in those moments. In most of the things you do now, you will do alone. Fill your social circles with new faces. New lives to interact with. Start connecting with people.

You are about to write a new chapter in your life.

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What Is The Penalty For Domestic Violence?

The crime of domestic violence is beyond dispute. There is a range in the severity of the crime, from a misdemeanor to a felony. What is the punishment for domestic abuse in the context of a divorce? Assault and battery are both criminal offenses that include domestic violence. Depending on the nature of the offense, it may result in jail time. Parenting time and your position in the custody dispute will both suffer if you commit domestic abuse.

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For a parent with domestic violence issues, it typically does not augur well. The guilty party may receive restricted custody or parenting time under supervision if it can be shown that the abuse has a negative impact on the child’s best interests.

The issue of domestic violence is always discussed in close tangent with personal protective orders and child abuse. The topic always crosses over custody and parenting time.

 

Some Revealing Truths About Domestic Violence

When deciding on custody and parenting time, the court will always consider one of the twelve factors for assessing the best interest of the child. One of these factors, the eleventh factor, is domestic violence or domestic abuse. It’s not necessary for parents to physically abuse their kids. It’s not necessary for kids to see it. For the court to consider domestic violence, it only needs to demonstrate presence or evident existence. 

Legally speaking, emotional abuse can occasionally be ambiguous due to the fact that various people frequently interpret the phrase differently.

It can often be difficult to distinguish between psychological abuse and emotional abuse. Given that the majority of specialists agree that emotional child abuse can be summed up as an assault on the child’s psyche, it is safe to assume that “emotional” and “mental” abuse are likely to be treated equally in the eyes of the law.

Making this distinction is important since the Michigan penal code does not specifically prohibit the emotional molesting of children. The statutory definition of what child abuse makes reference to “serious mental harm.”

“Serious mental harm” is defined as an injury to a child’s mental wellbeing or condition that is not necessarily permanent but nevertheless produces clearly discernible manifestations of a significant disorder of thought or mood that materially impairs behavior, judgment, the ability to recognize reality, or the capacity to cope with day-to-day demands of life.

Domestic violence is of particular concern to women given the numerous incidents of assault and stalking against them. In Michigan, more than 25% of women report to have had a rape at some point in their lives (this includes perpetrators who may be known or unknown to them).

A study on violence against women and children found that roughly 42% of women in Michigan may experience rape, physical abuse, and/or stalking throughout their lifetimes. Victims don’t always look for legal assistance from the police or medical care.

Surprisingly, there is a growing trend indicating women are also becoming perpetrators of domestic violence. It seems to indicate a phenomenon that domestic violence is no longer gender specific.

Without a doubt, women are no longer the only ones affected. Some theories for why domestic violence cases involving women against men go unreported include the social stigma associated with violence inflicted by women on men and the institutionalized bias against such claims by law enforcement officers and the legal system itself.

 

Domestic Violence, Assault and Battery Are Painfully Related

One must first grasp what comprises assault and assault and battery in order to comprehend the crime commonly known as domestic violence. An intentional, unlawful act is considered an assault if it makes another person reasonably fear an impending battery.

The intentional forcing, aggressive, or offensive touching of another person or something that is strongly connected with the person of another, no matter how mild or trivial, constitutes assault and battery.

Cases of domestic violence are comparable to cases of battery and assault. They do, however, involve people in special relationships. This is the reason domestic abuse in Michigan is defined as an assault or assault and battery by a:

  1. Spouse
  2. Previous partner
  3. A person who is or was a member of the victim’s household
  4. A person who has a child shared with the victim
  5. A person with whom he or she is dating or has been dating

There are two classifications of domestic violence in the State of Michigan, namely: domestic assault and aggravated domestic assault.

Domestic assault is one sort of domestic abuse offense recognized by Michigan law. Charges can be brought against someone for this specific act even if there was no physical harm done. Instead, a person may be tried and found guilty based only on threats of bodily harm.

Aggravated domestic assault happens when the person assaulted sustains or suffers injuries necessitating medical attention.

The prosecutor may approve felony assault charges under Michigan’s assault statutes when other circumstances are present in a domestic violence altercation. The most typical felony charges are typically:

[1] Assault with a dangerous weapon.

[2] Assault with intent to do great bodily harm (GBH).

[3] Assault by strangulation or suffocation.

 

Statutory Penalties of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence by definition is a crime and carries statutory penalties.

Penalties and charges for domestic assault.

Domestic assault carries the following penalties:

[a] 1st Offense is a  Misdemeanor penalized with 93 days in jail and/or fine up to $500

[b] 2nd Offense also a Misdemeanor penalized with 1 year in jail 

and/or fine up to $1,000.

[c] 3rd Offense is a Felony punishable by 5 years in prison and/or 

fine up to $5,000.

The victim need not be injured in order for this accusation to be proven.

Domestic violence convictions may also come with court-ordered probation, therapy, community service, etc.

Penalties and charges for aggravated domestic assault.

The prosecutor can actually recommend additional felony charges in the case of aggravated domestic assault as follows:

[a] Assault with a dangerous weapon carries a penalty of four years in prison

[b] Assault with intent to do great bodily harm (GBH) carries

a penalty of 10 years in prison

[c] Assault by strangulation or suffocation carries 

a penalty of 10 years in prison

 

The Real Penalties and Consequence of Domestic Abuse

Just because domestic violence is perpetrated usually within the privacy of a home, it should not be misconstrued as some form of family dispute. It’s a crime. It is a punishable crime. When there’s crime, there’s consequence. In the perspective of family, the consequences are much deeper. It cuts through the very fabric of the family. 

It destroys trust. It does irreparable damage to children. It is for this reason the courts do not take domestic violence lightly especially in the context of the best interest of the child.

The courts somehow will find a way to penalize erring parents, short of sending them to jail.

Personal Protective Orders (PPO)

The fastest and most effective so far in putting you at bay is a personal protective order or PPO. By issuing a PPO the court can effectively restrict your access to your children.

A PPO restrict the alleged abuser’s ability to speak with the victim by directing the abuser to:

[1] Keep away from the victim’s person, home, workplace, and school.

[2] Avoid communicating with the victim in any way, including by phone.

[3] Refrain from stalking, threatening, or physically harming the victim, and

[4] Refrain from meddling with the custody and care of any children that you share with the victim.

Your ex is the most likely party to request for a PPO and if your ex is sole physical and legal custodian. This means your kids are always around or near your ex. This effectively keeps you away physically and possibly with no way of talking to your kids. For a parent who loves their kids, this is worse punishment than a holding cell.

Limited or Restricted Custody and Parenting Time

Domestic violence is just one of the twelve factors the Michigan court will take into account when deciding on custody. This is true even if your kids weren’t the victims and didn’t see the violence. Domestic violence definitely matters. Courts always include it in custody and parenting time determinations. 

Abusive partners, in the eyes of the court, can still get a chance for some parenting time, formerly referred to as “visitation”, and in some instances custody.

According to Michigan law, a close relationship between your child and both parents is in their best interests. In fact, the majority of kids whose parents engage in abusive behavior remain close to the abusive parent. Therefore, even if you are given custody of your child, the other parent will typically still be given access to the child on a regular basis. In extreme circumstances, parenting time may be disallowed or restricted if you can show the other parent’s presence endangers your child’s bodily, mental, or emotional well-being.

A judge may impose “supervised visitation,” which implies that the abusive parent and the child can only spend time together under specific conditions, depending on the circumstances. For instance, the judge may mandate a social worker or a specialist attend the visitation to assess the abuser’s suitability for contact with the child. A judge may also mandate that the abusive parent’s parenting time with the kid be supervised by a third party, such as a grandparent or friend.

Termination of Parental Rights (TPR)

When domestic violence causes, in its extreme form, a direct and most certain harm to the children, it could be the basis for the termination of parental rights. Parental rights can be terminated under the provisions for aggravated circumstances under MCL 722.638.

Remember this. The State of Michigan will not reinstate parental rights after it is terminated.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.