The severe effects of COVID-19 are hitting us personally, even in our family. Vaccinating or not vaccinating. What if my ex vaccinated my child without telling me, can I do anything? This can be a difficult query for a parent in Michigan. In light of how the government and the general population feel, it is difficult. You can request a decision on this from the court.

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In a perfect world, the court would educate both parties on the importance of making decisions together as part of their parental responsibilities. The best course of action is to submit an application for a hearing so that the court can make a decision if you are unable to come to an agreement. The court could side with the government and the public, therefore this comes with a warning. The judge can decide that your child needs to be immunized.

What’s Up with COVID in Michigan?

Even though the Covid19 vaccine is only the most recent iteration of the vaccine debate, Michigan’s divorced parents have been at odds over whether or not to vaccinate their children for years. Of course, parents who are not divorced can also disagree on this. Even stable marriages hold contrasting views.

The State of Michigan is examining and treating COVID-19 patients around-the-clock. Here is the most recent information that state-wide healthcare specialists have gathered. As of this writing data is now being updated as follows:

Data on cases and fatalities are usually updated every Tuesday. Data on cases and deaths will include both confirmed and improbable cases and fatalities.

The CDC COVID-19 community levels map has taken the position of the cumulative county COVID-19 case rate map, and it will be updated every Friday.

As of this writing here’s what’s happening with COVID in Michigan.

[ a ]  2,897,827 total COVID-19 confirmed and probable cases

[ b ]  39,406 COVID-19 deaths overall, including confirmed and likely

[ c ]  Weekly Confirmed and Probable Cases for COVID-19: 11,651

[ d ]  1,664 average daily confirmed and probable COVID-19 cases

[ e ]  Deaths in Confirmed and Probable Cases in Weekly COVID-19 156

Although child deaths attributed to COVID were relatively low, a thousand deaths is a big number for any parent.

With all that apprehension about getting or not getting the vaccine, it may be moot to discuss the efficacy since data is already telling us the vaccine was not really as effective for children as anticipated. At the height of COVID it was the driver for the surge of court cases affecting custody and parenting time. A lot of disputes arose as to whether or not to get children vaccinated.

Who Gets to Make the Decision About Vaccinations?

The choice normally rests with your co-parenting or custody agreement, whether you are the parent who supports vaccinations for your children or the one who opposes them. You should always turn to your custody records as a starting point in any major argument. Whoever has legal custody typically decides on medical issues, including immunizations.

Consider a situation where one parent is granted sole legal custody of their child. If so, they are the ones with the power to decide whether the youngster will receive the COVID-19 vaccine. The decision-maker has the right to make it even if the other parent objects.

There is no established legal definition for the term “sole custody.” The Michigan Custody Guideline specifies that the parent is the sole custodian when that parent is granted both primary physical custody and primary legal custody. Physical custody is granted to a parent if they spend the majority of the time caring for their child. When a parent is given legal custody, they are in charge of making all important decisions regarding the child’s upbringing, such as those involving their health care, education, upbringing in religion, and participation in extracurricular activities.

The court anticipates that when there is joint legal custody, the co-parents will discuss these issues and reach a consensus. However, there is always a chance of this happening, particularly in a hotly contested issue like this vaccination. In cases where both parents share legal custody, sometimes one parent retains the right to make the final decision. That parent has the final say if this applies to you.

If for some reason this issue ends up in court, the court will likely lecture both parties on making decisions together as part of their custodial responsibilities in the best case scenario. The best course of action is to file a motion for a hearing to let the court make the decision if you can’t come to an understanding on the matter. 

If parents can’t agree, the judge will make the decision in a hearing. A Lombardo hearing is the term used to describe such a hearing. The court will hear testimony about the factors that are in the child’s best interest during a Lombardo hearing. A Lombardo hearing resembles a custody trial in many ways, even if the judge in a choice of school case is not obligated to consider every best interest criterion. Every best interest factor will be looked at if the student’s school choice would lead to a change in custody.

Lombardo hearing is a phrase in reference to the famous child custody case with Docket No. 145361 submitted to the Michigan Court of Appeal on June 2, 1993 and was decided on October 18, 1993.

How Will Courts Decide if Parents Can’t Make the Decision About COVID Vaccine?

You cannot alter parenting time or restrict your ex’s access to your children even within the threat of COVID unless you have a prior motion to modify it accordingly.

Before you violate your order, you must make an effort to have it modified. Getting a hearing promptly could be challenging because court operations are constrained during the emergency. There are urgent motions being discussed to safeguard health and safety. If at all feasible, you ought to consult an attorney for counsel before making any decisions.

Parents must ensure they have more than a generalized fear or suspicion of risk when the other parent does not concur that one residence poses a greater risk than the other since the court order is still in effect. Without a consent, disobeying the command is serious.

You will receive a notice and one of many sanctions if you break the order and the other parent notifies the FOC in writing of the violation. If you violate the order, the office may impose a makeup parenting time schedule, set up a joint meeting or mediation, or arrange a hearing (often known as a “show cause hearing”) where you must provide justification. A show cause hearing may also be scheduled by the other parent without the involvement of the FOC.

If you ask how the judge is going to rule on this issue of vaccination, it may be difficult to guess. Every judge is different and may be considering the same factors as your lawyer but is looking at it differently. Judges may choose not to look at certain evidence of your position or may question their credibility in the light of many controversies associated with the COVID-19 vaccine even in the medical community.

If a Lombardo hearing is unavoidable. The caveat in this situation is that the court might adopt the stance of the executive branch and the public. The judge might decide to vaccinate your child or leave the decision to the legal custodian.

Even if the parents disagree with the judge’s judgment, they must abide by it once the matter has been decided by the court. You could get into a lot of legal trouble if you don’t follow a judge’s instructions!

It’s not very appealing to have a stranger in a black robe decide your child’s health. Because of this, parents are constantly urged to resolve these issues without the assistance of a judge.

Like we always advocate here, it is best you talk to your ex and find a way to find the right information together so you don’t have to force your position based on a limited range of options.

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A child will require medical needs and health care costs in addition to the typical basic demands. After a divorce, who is responsible for paying for the child’s medical bills? In Michigan, the divorce decision serves as a roadmap for the parents regarding the costs of child support.

Click here to watch the video on Which Parent is Responsible For Child Health Expenses After Divorce in Michigan?

Your divorce decree should specify what occurs in this case, and it almost certainly includes keeping the child covered. Either both parents paying equally or paying in separate amounts could be used. The court will unquestionably ensure that the youngster is protected. Examine your divorce ruling; it should serve as your direction.

There are certain significant exceptions divorcing marriage partners may need to take into account. After a divorce, one ex-spouse is typically not compelled to cover the other’s medical expenditures. Following a divorce, a number of variables determine who is responsible for paying the child’s medical bills.

What You Need to Know About UCSO

When you start talking about child support you will probably hear about MCSF or the Michigan Child Support Formula. 

The Friend of the Court Bureau created a formula guideline for calculating child support obligation amounts as part of its duties. The use of this formula by the courts when establishing or altering child support obligations is mandated by law.

The child support formula is periodically reviewed, adjusted, and its figures updated to account for shifts in the economy. A new Michigan Child Support Formula Manual is released by the bureau as soon as these changes go into effect. The manual and any relevant schedules or supplements make up the Michigan regulations.

The MCSF aids courts in determining the proper amount of child support due to be paid. The MCSF is based on the resources available to parents and the requirements of the children. The MCSF is based on a professional review of facts and figures regarding the expenses of parenting children at various income levels.

The MCSF takes into account the net incomes of both parents before comparing that income to various external factors. Additionally, the model accounts for unique situations like shared custody and the amount of nights that children spend with each parent.

Once a determination about child support becomes final, you will hear about another acronym, the UCSO. 

The Uniform Child Support Order or UCSO, along with other orders, is entered at the conclusion of every child support case, child custody disagreement, and divorce involving children. The financial support of your child is entirely within the jurisdiction of this UCSO. It specifies who will pay what amount of child support to whom, when it will begin and stop, and who is in charge of keeping the child’s health, dental, and vision insurance current. The UCSO also specifies how payments for your child’s medical costs will be made. 

Medical support comprises regular and supplemental medical costs, health insurance, and premium sharing. Regular medical costs include copays and deductibles for uninsured medical costs. Parental care costs like over-the-counter medications and first aid supplies are excluded from regular medical costs. 

There’s a cap for the average cost of medical care for one child per year. Uninsured charges over and beyond the annual cap on typical medical expenses are referred to as additional medical expenses. The UCSO refers to these extra costs as uninsured health care charges. Typically, a percentage of increased medical costs is allocated to each parent based on their income.

When the parties have an established pattern for child care and can attest to their actual, predictable, and reasonable child care expenses, childcare reimbursement amounts are based on actual costs.

One of the parents will be required by the court to supply the child with health insurance. This private insurance may be supplied as a perk of employment, purchased, or obtained in another way (from a parent’s spouse or other household member). Or, in some circumstances, it might be public insurance like Medicaid or MIChild. To decide which parent should provide coverage, the court will take into account a number of variables from the Michigan Child Support Formula Manual or MCSF.

Which of the Parents Gets to Pay for Health Expenses?

Who is responsible for a child’s medical costs after a divorce? While you might not be liable for an ex-individual spouse’s medical obligations, if you have children, you will at least share some of the cost of their care until they are adults.

How do parents split or share that duty? The cost of a child’s health insurance, if paid by one parent, is taken into account while determining child support. If you sift through the slightly technical description of UCSO, you will come to understand both parents shoulder the cost for the children’s medical and health care.

Judges in Michigan and Friend of the Court investigators make the assumption that both parents will contribute to the costs of raising their children when determining child support. It is expected that the primary custodial parent will cover costs that immediately result. Based on the parties’ relative salaries, the number of nights the child spends with each parent, and a number of other considerations, the other parent (the payer) pays child support. 

According to the conditions outlined in the UCSO, both parents must contribute to the child’s uninsured medical expenses.

What Is Covered Under the Child’s Medical and Health Expenses? How Is It Shared?

The calculations used to determine child support in each case include medical costs. On the first page of your UCSO, there is a table with a line for “usual medical.” This is the monthly amount that the payer must contribute toward each child’s out-of-pocket ordinary medical expenses (OMEs).

Every UCSO also specifies the yearly average medical cost. This is the annual contribution that the payee—the person who is receiving child support—is required to provide. The sum, however, can be different if you have an older child support order. Before receiving reimbursement for any special costs related to child support, the payee must have already paid this annual regular medical amount to physicians, hospitals, pharmacies, and other healthcare providers.

The UCSO also decides what happens if a child’s uninsured medical bills go above and beyond what is specified above. On your child support order, these sums will be divided according to the parties’ respective incomes and shown as percentages.

According to the Michigan Child Support Formula, the payee parent is eligible to receive reimbursement for extraordinary (extra-ordinary) medical costs like:

[ a ]  Co-pays

[ b ]  Deductibles

[ c ]  Out-of-pocket expenses

[ d ]  Doctors’ visits

[ e ]  Hospital stays

[ f ]  Medical equipment

[ g ]  Medicines and pharmaceuticals

[ h ]  Preventative care (including vaccines)

[ i ]  Dental expenses (including braces)

[ j ]  Vision or optical care (including glasses or contact lenses)

[ k ]  Mental health or psychological care

The annual sum for typical medical expenses is not meant to pay for:

[ a ]  First-aid supplies

[ b ]  Over-the-counter medicine

[ c ]  Painkillers

[ d ]  Cough syrup

[ e ]  Vitamins

[ f ]  Hygiene supplies

Even if extra medical costs are covered by every UCSO, many custodial parents never get that money because they don’t adhere to the regulations for repayment of medical expenses.

What if One of the Parent Declines and Won’t Pay?

Even when the court-ordered child support is paid, a disagreement may still occur when a child has medical expenses that go above and beyond what is deemed “ordinary.” When a court is aware that a child may incur higher expenditures, it may boost the normal sum for uninsured medical bills.

When a child’s uninsured healthcare costs exceed the “ordinary” annual amount, the cost of those costs is split between the parents according to each parent’s portion of their combined total income. This usually is a case for ex spouses with children having special needs.

Unless the parents jointly agree to a different agreement, each parent is accountable for the percentage of any extraordinary medical costs incurred.

So what happens if one parent chooses not to contribute to a child’s high medical expenses? Although the legislation in Michigan involving a parent’s refusal to cover a child’s exorbitant medical costs is quite intricate, the following is necessary:

[ a ]  Within four weeks after the date the insurance company paid on the cost or denied payment, the parent requesting compensation must send a reimbursement request to the other parent. Write down your request and save a copy for yourself.

[ b ]  This means that one parent must cover the entire cost and then ask the other for reimbursement. The paying parent must send the bill to Michigan’s Friend of the Court agency within six months if the other parent doesn’t pay in order for that agency to enforce payment.

[ c ]  Seek the counsel and direction of a family attorney who can ensure that you meet the deadlines and standards and that the court acts on your behalf if your spouse refuses to pay his or her share of your child’s extraordinary medical expenses.

A family law attorney will need to file a petition with the court on your behalf if the other parent of your child is refusing to pay court-ordered child support.

The parent’s salary or tax refunds may be garnished, a lien may be put on their home or other property, their license may be suspended, or they may even be charged with contempt of court.

If you want to know more about what child support covers, you can read our article, “What is Child Support Supposed to Cover in Michigan? Does it Include Tuition?” to see how much of educational expenses are actually covered.

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Your child refuses to go when it’s time for parenting time with your ex-spouse. What can I do if, despite a court order, my child refuses to visit the other parent? In Michigan, you must ask yourself this question since failing to do so could result in a violation of a court order. You have neither the authority nor the right to disobey a court order.

Click here to watch the video on What Can I Do If My Child Refuses to be with The Other Parent Despite Court Order in MI?

You must let the court know if something, such as your child’s behavior, is making it difficult for you to comply with a court order. It simply indicates that you can’t solve the problem on your own or find a workaround. You must explain to your child the purpose of a court order as well as the consequences of disobeying it.

Our children can develop quite quickly. Child custody battles and divorce won’t stop them. Court orders determine things like visitation and parenting time. Children must comprehend them as well because they are required responsibilities. The relationship between parents and children fosters a child’s physical, mental, and social growth. Every child and parent should value and develop this unique connection.

This link serves as the cornerstone upon which the child’s personality, choices in life, and general behavior are established. Their emotional, mental, physical, and social well-being could all be affected.

Is Parenting Time or Visitation an Option?

Despite significant, ongoing advancements, raising young children today is still challenging. A rapidly growing body of research on early children is available, more funding is being given to family-focused programs and services, the U.S. population is changing its demographics quickly, and family arrangements are becoming more diverse. Parenting is also being more impacted by technology and more readily available parenting information.

Parenting and the parent-child relationship are so important that laws, national and state policies are oriented in favor of protecting them. This is also the reason why parents are not given the choice to choose how much time they spend with their children during the day. In the family, it is enforced to maintain the family’s cohesiveness as much as possible.

Children under the age of 18 cannot decide which parent they will live with unilaterally. Children are not allowed to refuse visitation that is required by a custody agreement. Both parents and children must follow the instructions. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the parent who has primary physical custody to persuade an obstinate child to cooperate during visitation.

The child’s preference is just one of the numerous considerations the judge will use when determining child custody or parenting time. You could find it helpful to make decisions if you speak with a Michigan child custody attorney if your child, especially a teen, wants to spend more time with the other parent.

Why Is My Child Refusing Parenting Time?

There might be some legitimate reason why your child, (and there’s a high likelihood this will be a teenage child) is a bit obstinate about their refusal to go with the other parent. The following are the most likely causes of your child’s difficulties going with your ex-spouse:

[ a ]  The child wants to go to an event, but only one parent will allow the child to do so.

[ b ]  Your child and the other parent have never really gotten along.

[ c ]  The child is not cordial with other children from past partnerships or with the other parent’s new spouse.

[ d ]  The other parent lives a long way from the child’s school, friends, and extracurricular activities. The other parent has severe house rules that the child doesn’t want to follow.

[ e ]  The child holds the other parent responsible for the divorce and harbors hatred towards them. If you are badmouthing your ex and this is the cause of your child’s feelings, then this can be a problem. Disparaging your ex in front of your child is a practice known as parental alienation, and doing so can be used against you in court.

Of course as a parent there can be legally sound reasons for you to support your child’s refusal to go with the other parents, and here’s some legal reasons to do so:

[ a ]  The other parent is currently incarcerated or in prison.

[ b ]  The parent is abusing drugs or has substance use disorder (SUD)

[ c ]  The other parent is frequently subjecting the child to either verbal or physical abuse

[ d ]  There is sexual impropriety, such as subjecting a child to very suggestive sexual behavior

[ e ]  The potential or a history of parental abduction.

Parents would probably err on the side of caution so they might get worried about their child’s behavior. If your child admits to having been beaten, sexually assaulted, or subjected to other sorts of abuse by the other parent, no one can advise you to give them back into their care. In addition to denying visitation, you should ask the court for supervised or no visits.

There’s a likelihood you won’t be able to physically coerce your child into doing anything. You already are aware of this if you have teenagers. The courts will probably accept your explanation. You have made an effort to abide by the court orders but that, given your child’s age and maturity, you are unable to compel them to spend time with the other parent. 

You are not required by law to pull or tie up your child in order to force them to go to visitation. When a child is 16, it is more effective to claim they won’t see the other parent; nevertheless, a child of six doesn’t sound as credible.

How Can I Get My Child to Comply with Parenting Time?

The truth of the matter is that the only way you can comply with court order is to “persuade” your child to go with the other parent. You might want to try out some of the approaches already working with other parents who have to deal with a reluctant child.

Find out more about what’s up with the attitude.

Identify the reasons for your child’s reluctance to visit the other parent. The repercussions of defying a court order are probably beyond your child’s comprehension. You will learn more about how to handle the refusal if you inquire as to why they are refusing to go rather than merely telling them to do so. Your child may agree to visitation if you demonstrate your concern and understanding of their situation.

Don’t forget you are an adult. You are the parent.

Remember you are the parent at all times. The decision-maker here is you, not your child. You are the best person to judge your child’s needs, therefore it’s possible a soft, gentle approach won’t be effective. Particularly following the strain of a custody dispute and/or divorce, you may feel bad about forcing your child to do something they don’t want to.

Call and communicate with the other parent.

When your child declines, call the other parent and make an effort to have the child explain the refusal to the other parent. You won’t be accused of wilfully disobeying court orders if the child cooperates more readily with the other parent. Contrary to phone records and text messages, word of mouth is simpler to disprove in court.

Start taking notes on all this refusal to comply.

Keep track of each time your child refuses a visit. Ask your child why each time so you can keep a list. The other parent has the right to accuse you in court of violating the court order, therefore you must have proof to back up your claims and those of your child. The other parent may try to show you have not complied in subsequent custody hearings, which would be damaging to your case.

Take effort to make each pick up and drop off stress-free.

As much as you can, make picking up and dropping off simple. Your child’s unwillingness to attend visitation may be influenced by your numerous disputes with your ex during transitions. Try your best to keep your mouth shut and carry yourself like the bigger person if your ex tries to antagonize you during custody transfers. If your child is leaving for a prolonged visitation, make sure your child’s luggage is packed and all other preparations have been made well in advance. Activities that can be avoided, like rushing around the house and disregarding sentimental items, might cause anxiety.

Keep the encouragement going.

Continue to promote visits. After a single refusal, don’t give up. Your child should be informed about the parenting plan at times other than shortly before pick-ups and drop-offs.

It’s a prevalent notion that children may choose which parent they want to live with most of the time after they reach a certain age. First off, unless the judge determines the child has the capacity to create and express a reasonable preference for custody and visitation, the judge in Michigan won’t even take the child’s preference into consideration.

The judge will typically assume that a child who is older than six can articulate a reasonable custody preference. But that does not imply that every child who falls within that age range can. It also does not imply judges will never take younger children’s opinions into account. Individual circumstances may impair older children’s capacity to develop a fair judgment because some children are mature beyond their years.

A judge must determine whether a child has communicated a choice that is reasonable after determining that the child is able to make a reasonable judgment about custody and visitation. This doesn’t imply the child must provide a thorough justification for the desire they have expressed, only that it isn’t motivated by irrational or unimportant factors.

Until they turn 18 or are deemed to be of legal emancipation, children do not have the right to refuse visitation that is required under a custody order. Both parents and children must follow the instructions. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the parent who has primary physical custody to persuade a recalcitrant child to cooperate during visitation.

Of course, as any parent of an adolescent knows, it can be difficult to get adolescents to execute anything they adamantly disagree to, especially as they become older. If you find yourself in this situation, you might think about taking advantage of the mediation available at the Friend of the Court or counseling services. However, you’ll need to demonstrate a change in circumstances has occurred that makes the alteration you’re proposing necessary.

This is the part where you need to talk to your attorney about your child’s dynamics and what you can put forward to the court.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

Parents may lose custody of their children for a number of reasons. In Michigan, the courts play a significant part in disputes over child custody. You taking over that position won’t be welcomed by the court. The dynamics between you and your child and spouse are examined by the court. Your actions will be closely monitored. 

Click here to watch the video on 3 Reasons Parents Lose Custody Of Their Kids In Michigan

There will be severe repercussions for attempts to sabotage parenting time and deliberate actions taken to alienate the other parent. The court will take notice of such wickedness and it will affect how your custody issue is handled in the future. You need to speak with your attorney if you find yourself in a scenario where the other parent is displaying these behaviors. See the Michigan reasons why parents lose custody of their children.

The best interests of the children concerned will always be taken into consideration by Michigan family law courts when making decisions. In most divorce cases, it is in the child’s best interest to be able to spend as much time as possible with both parents. Because of this, courts usually always grant both parents joint legal custody and, frequently, shared physical custody.

Even if the child lives with the custodial parent full-time, the non-custodial parent will, at the least, be granted joint legal custody so that, in addition to having frequent and regular visitation rights, they can participate in key decision-making over the child’s life. A biological parent would only ever lose all of these parenting rights under exceptional circumstances. Nevertheless, it is possible.

Let’s look at three reasons why it is possible.

Reason 1: Failing to Comply with Court Orders.

If you ignore a court order, you risk facing consequences from the court and, worse than that, it may deter the court from hearing your case fairly in the future. Being court-friendly is always ideal, and one way to do this is by abiding by the court’s guidelines.

The court will dictate your parenting time and custody arrangements, whether you like it or not. 

The courts always emphasize the importance of maintaining stability in the children’ surroundings. That stability comes from the parents spending time together. We are aware that dissolving a marriage can cause pain, and perhaps the only emotional tie left between the parents is animosity.

You should be aware of the significance and value of maintaining the relationship with your children as a parent. This is why parenting time and custody are divided, giving you the best chance to spend time with your children almost equally.

Parenting time is increased only by having complete or even physical custody. It gives you more chances to interact with your kids, maybe more than the non-custodial parent does.

Because you have custody and you don’t like the other parent, you want to make a point of not letting your ex see the children. You want to enjoy watching your ex struggle with being away from the children.

Therefore, it is not surprising that limiting access to children is a means of exacting retaliation against the children’s alleged offending spouse.

Remember that the parenting time both of you supposedly deserve is an opportunity made possible by a court order. It is a judicial order. Denying the father access to the children in violation of a court order has repercussions and sanctions.

You are already at odds with the person in charge of granting parenting and custody orders if that person believes you cannot act in the child’s best interests by disobeying court requests and directions. That person is the judge.

Second only to performing poorly in court and in your daily life, defying court orders will quickly damage your case. Even though it may not necessarily result in you losing custody on its own, the court will usually see this as a sign of disrespect for their authority.

Reason 2: Abuse and Neglect of Children.

In Michigan, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, or mistreatment by a parent, legal guardian, or any other person in charge of the child’s care constitutes child abuse. This includes any harm or threat of harm to a child’s health or welfare as a consequence of a non-accidental physical or mental injury.

Child neglect occurs when a parent, guardian, or other adult fails to meet a child’s basic needs. These basic needs include having access to clothing, food, and water, as well as a secure place to reside. The failure to provide a child with the necessary care and education is another example of this.

When parents are unable to care for their children themselves, they must make arrangements for someone else to do so. A parent who leaves his or her child at home alone may be considered to have abandoned the child by a court, which is grounds for rescinding the parent’s parental rights.

We posted an article about abuse and neglect entitled, “What Does Abusing A Child Mean in Michigan?”. There can be situations where you can be accused of child abuse and neglect. These allegations, whether true or not, can seriously compromise your child custody claims.

Reason 3: Alienating the Other Parent.

Never voice disapproval of your spouse in front of your children. This unnecessarily involves the children in dispute between you and your ex-spouse, which harms their fragile psyches and makes the entire process difficult for them. Keeping your disapproval and even anger in check can often be difficult in situations where you are forced to deal with a vindictive spouse or an ex with a malicious spouse syndrome.

In stressful situations like divorce or a child custody dispute, it is imperative to keep your emotions under control, even though it can be difficult. You might be tempted to give in to your anger and erupt in rage, but you have to fight the desire.

Courts in Michigan are less likely to grant custody of a child to a parent who displays strong, volatile emotions, especially ones like rage. It is advisable to avoid responding in kind, even if your spouse is angry and spiteful, as doing so will only make matters worse for you.

It can also lead to emotional estrangement, which is even worse because it happens when a child starts to prefer a parent-free household as a result of one parent’s alienating comments. The courts have a zero tolerance approach for this behavior and will punish any parent who partakes in it severely.

The other parent must always be treated with respect, despite your belief that they haven’t done anything to earn it. Honorable behavior will not only help to protect your child but also give the court the chance to demonstrate why you are the finest person to represent the child’s interests. Simply said, you shouldn’t criticize or speak poorly about your spouse in front of other people.

The same restriction applies to your friends and family. The biggest problem is that anything you say can be used against you in a custody battle and can give the court the idea that you are unreliable.

It’s possible that the person you confide in will be asked to testify in court or at a deposition even if they don’t consciously repeat what you said. They become powerless over the circumstance once they promise to tell the truth. Thus, they can be forced to betray your confidence.

Who gets legal custody of a kid after a divorce depends on a variety of variables. However, if the court decides that the parent is unfit to care for the child or if a circumstance arises that necessitates their removal, the parent may lose custody of the child. The three reasons above should give you enough information to avoid compromising your opportunity and rights to your child’s custody.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

Some people invent the truth when they lie. For some people, accuracy and truth don’t seem to ever coexist in the same space. You recently learned that you are one of the unlucky ones who married one. In your own custody dispute, you now have to deal with a dishonest ex-spouse. Your attorney is now aware of it. The detailed description of your ex-spouse was provided by you. However, you can’t call your lawyer only to confess to every small fib or major lie that has nothing to do with the situation or case at hand. You can’t be paying for expenses with invoices that list the lies you’ve already exposed.

Click here to watch the video on Dealing With Lying Ex In Michigan Custody Case

You must spend your attorney’s time wisely in order to win your custody battle without incurring a significant cost down the road. For those unimportant details your ex is lying about, go speak with your therapist, your priest, or a friend. Your attorney’s time and skills would be better used helping you.

Nobody enjoys being misled or lied about. The stakes and emotions in divorce and child custody proceedings are already very high. It’s possible that lying and gaslighting played a role in your breakup. However, false accusations or denials in court can turn any remaining communication and collaboration between ex-spouses into a hostile situation.

What Do People Lie About in a Custody Case?

If your ex will have to lie in a custody case, what are they going to be lying about? What is it that is worth the risk of lying about and being possibly sanctioned if caught.

Spouses lie about their income.

The most frequent instance of false information about income includes a spouse who is self-employed. Pay stubs are going to reveal the truth, therefore the average wage earner wouldn’t have any incentive to lie about the facts.

There will be additional opportunities for freelancers, self-employed people, and others who operate “under the table” to hide their genuine income.

Being thorough with your records and getting your ex to swear under oath about their income are two ways to refute their claims. Most people come clean when asked about their income since lying while being questioned about it could result in perjury penalties. It’s imperative to carefully examine tax records, bank statements, and personal expense records; you might need to engage a forensic accountant for this.

Spouses lie about issues regarding child custody and parenting time.

There are far too many instances of co-parents lying about their engagement with or bonding with the children, making false claims of neglect or abuse, or denying it when it actually did occur.

You must go to court as prepared as you can when your ex-spouse is so anxious to destroy you that they will lie to harm your connection with your child. Work with a seasoned family law professional who has handled cases involving intense child custody disputes. To refute their accusations, the more information and eyewitnesses you have, the better.

Spouses lie about assets.

Some people have ulterior motives for lying about the presence or value of assets, such as not wanting their ex to inherit anything. However, if the falsehood is found, it might have catastrophic repercussions, including the opposite party losing the entire asset.

Because there is frequently a clear paper trail, assets like bank accounts and homes are frequently challenging to conceal. Things like intellectual property and franchises, money, collectibles, and retirement accounts might be easier to track. Additionally, it’s not uncommon for a spouse to “repay” a substantial “debt” to a friend, family member, or work associate while actually using marital cash for safe-keeping.

Parents and spouses lie about domestic violence.

An ex may accuse the other of domestic abuse while making false claims, or they may deny that domestic violence ever took place. We have found that the latter is more typical.

These issues are difficult because they are really serious and frequently include he said/she said. Results may have an impact on matters such as restraining orders, child custody, parenting time, and even asset split.

Evidence is crucial. Those things comprise witness accounts, as well as images, messages, recordings, voicemails, emails, and texts. It would be more likely to support a denial if there was no evidence at all or no witness testimony.

Why Do People Lie in a Custody Case?

People lie in a custody case because telling the truth puts them in a disadvantage. They need to appear better than the other parent. For some they believe strongly the gains of lying are higher than if they speak the truth. Let’s look at the reasons why.

People lie because they have something to hide.

The prevalence of domestic violence or abuse can be a reason to lie. Child Protective Services or CPS may eventually root this out but a hidden atmosphere of abuse can be kept secret considerably and this could be a motivation for lying. 

Parents with substance use disorder or SUD often resort to lying in order not to lose points in a custody case or not to compromise parenting time. We’ve written a good article on SUD entitled, “How Addiction Struggles Impacts Custody in Michigan” and how it affects the outcome of custody cases.

Unfaithfulness among spouses can be a driver of lying and often a strong motivation not to cooperate, especially during the discovery phase of the divorce process.

People lie out of spite.

We’ve written about a malicious parent and the extent they will go and the most insidious use of lying to their detriment and their family. We wrote about this in our article, “What Is Malicious Mother Syndrome In Michigan?”. In that article we talked about the malicious parent syndrome.

It goes without saying that some of the actions linked to the “malicious parent syndrome” are unlawful, such as hurting the other parent or destroying their property. Depriving children of food or money may constitute child abuse, which is prohibited by both family and criminal law, and may be done in an effort to harm the reputation of the other parent. A spiteful parent could face perjury charges if they do so, which is similar to lying on oath.

People lie because it is part of a personality disorder.

A person who has narcissistic personality disorder may lie to exaggerate their own virtues or disparage others. They take pleasure in shaping the facts and the lives of others. By manipulating the court and outsmarting the opposition, they could feel energized and powerful. Deception, manipulation, and disdain for authority are traits of an antisocial personality disorder. They are excellent at flouting the rules and are frequently referred to as “con artists.” To seek retaliation or money, they create specific occurrences and utilize the legal system. They frequently engage in violence due to their incessant lying and lack of empathy.

An individual with a histrionic personality disorder is frequently very dramatic, demanding, and superficially appealing. They are adept at lying and deceiving themselves. Also typical is fabrication.

In an effort to retain a relationship with their child or spouse—or as retaliation for abandonment—a person with a borderline personality disorder may lie out of rage or even out of self-deception. Custody and visitation disputes are frequent.

What Consequences Will You Face if You Lie in a Custody Case?

Even the most composed and level-headed people might engage in mud-slinging or slander since divorce cases can lead to spouses’ unhappiness, fury, or worse. Even though they may first appear to be minor disputes, serious issues will arise if one or both spouses in a marriage begin to exaggerate events or use “innocent” lies in an effort to appear more favorable in court.

Although it would be ideal if divorce proceedings were a little less contentious and lying about things didn’t occur, the reality is that perjury—or lying under oath—occurs rather frequently and many individuals often forget it is a federal offense with associated consequences.

A court may impose a fine or sentence someone to jail time for lying. Additionally, breaking the law by lying under oath can result in up to 15 years in state prison.

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Easy and quick divorce. Speedy and simple. Typically, neither applies. Couples who are married desire to escape the marriage context. No six-month waiting period applies because they are childless. There are no assets they own. 

They begin to believe this divorce is a straightforward matter. Divorce without argument. They come across as friendly individuals. When they consult with a lawyer, the lawyer goes over the customary list of topics they should discuss. Once there is a difference of opinion, neither party is willing to compromise any longer, and both are disputing the remaining items. Discussing topics that you both agree on is the best course of action and best things to start off.

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Concentrate on the extremely short list of just a few things you disagree with, then go speak with an attorney about it. Thus, there are fewer talking points to argue on and fewer issues to quarrel over.

Sorry, but divorce can’t be that quick and simple.

What Is Quick and Easy Divorce?

It seems everyone wants their divorce to be quick and easy. We wrote about having the fastest way to a divorce in our article, “What Is The Fastest Way To Get A Divorce In Michigan?” and to give clarity to the legal jargon accompanying the waiting period. 

We mentioned in the article that the only first thing people seem to agree on quickly and decisively about divorce is ending the marriage. Everything following the decisiveness are all contentious.

Divorce is a process with a few non-negotiable milestones. You can do those milestones slowly or fast but you can’t get around it.

If you haven’t qualified for residency, you will have to wait six months at least to be able to file the divorce complaint.

Once you have qualified for residency then you have the filing of the divorce complaint. You need to wait for the response or the “answer”. 

Your spouse must promptly serve you with a copy of their Answer after filing it with the court if they choose to participate in the divorce process. Their time frame is 21 days after receiving your divorce papers if they were personally served with your summons and complaint. They have 28 days to file and serve an answer if they were served by mail or outside of Michigan.

You will have to put up and endure the waiting period.

A 60-day waiting period is required before your divorce can be officially finalized if you and your partner do not share custody of any children. Even if you and your husband were already divorced at the time you filed, the waiting period begins as soon as you do. If you and your husband can’t agree on everything, your divorce may take much longer than 60 days.

What’s The Truth About The Divorce Process in Michigan?

You won’t like it but there’s almost no work around the divorce process in Michigan. It is really up to you and your soon to be ex how quickly you can complete the divorce process.

To file for divorce in Michigan, you or your spouse must have lived in the state for at least the previous six months.

You and your spouse need to resolve a number of issues, including property, debt, child custody, alimony, and more, as soon as possible.

You should file for divorce in the county where you or your spouse most recently resided if that is the case.

If you decide to engage with an attorney, they will be able to point you in the right direction. If you choose not to hire an attorney, make use of the forms Michigan Legal Help provides. Print several copies, and if required, have the documents notarized.

After completing the forms, you must pay the filing fee and submit them to the court clerk.

There are various methods you can utilize to serve your spouse within 91 days of your initial filing. You can be personally served by a police officer, a professional process server, a friend or relative, or even the mail.

If you and your spouse are unable to come to an agreement on everything, the court will determine who receives what. This can occasionally take up to 30 days.

Once the last hearing has taken place or the waiting period has passed, you will file your final documents with the court, and your divorce will then be deemed official. Depending on the details of your case, you might be able to speed up the divorce procedure.

The aforementioned are stages in the divorce process.

How Are We Going To Get A Divorce Any Faster and Easier?

There are two waiting periods in Michigan. The first waiting period you need to go through is 60 days.

There is a sixty-day waiting time after the lawsuit is filed before the judgment can be made if there are no children involved. The date on which notification of the divorce is delivered to the other party has no bearing on the waiting period.

In Michigan, there must be a sixty-day waiting period before filing for divorce. The divorce is undoubtedly null and void if the judgment is rendered in less than sixty days.

The second waiting period is equal to six months, or 180 days.

Public policy urged people to take some time to reflect and make plans before finalizing a divorce and potentially making amends for the sake of the family.

Unless testimony needs to be preserved, trial judges are not allowed to waive the 60-day statutory waiting time.

For divorces involving small children, some courts will, however, waive the final 60 days of the 180-day waiting period if the parties have come to an agreement, settled all disputes, and hastening the divorce serves the children’s best interests.

However, the first 60 days cannot be waived in whole or in part.

If you and your spouse have filed all necessary documents and responses to the summons and there are no disagreements over child custody, parenting time, child support, spousal support, or property division, you have the full 60 days to spend.

What is the point of all this waiting?

The state has made it a priority to defend the family unit and the institution of marriage as much as possible, ultimately acting in the best interests of the children. There are numerous crucial moments that might occur while waiting. We have talked about these crucial moments in the article we mentioned above, “What Is The Fastest Way To Get A Divorce In Michigan?”.

You want it quick?

Make a list of things you need to talk about. Group the things in your list you can agree on. Make a separate list you can acknowledge you don’t know much about to be able to agree on or you know enough you won’t agree on. Take that list to your attorney and let your attorney facilitate the process to find your common ground.

You want it quicker?

The quickest method is to serve the parties, have them accept service without objecting, have them accept service automatically, have them quickly file an answer so that there is no waiting period for a default, and have them draft and sign a consent judgment of divorce right after the 60th day after the complaint was filed. Waiting for the other party to default might not be the quickest method to terminate a divorce case.

Do you think you can manage that?

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In a divorce and custody dispute, is it possible to switch the court  jurisdiction? You have a party who resides in New York, who went through a divorce and custody dispute there. In New York, the party obtained a custody and judgment order. The mother makes the decision to relocate to Michigan. Then, a question regarding parenting time is raised. Where do you want the parental time dispute settled? It’s a question of jurisdiction. 

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The child’s father makes the decision to relocate to Arkansas and requests a review of the parenting arrangement. Where will the father bring up this matter? In which court will he file the petition for a custody review? Regarding questions of jurisdiction, you should consult your attorney.

Did you know that the Family Court has the power to order you to travel hundreds of miles outside of the state to attend your child custody hearings? Although it may seem absurd, there are several circumstances in which it is true.

Like what we mentioned above, you and your significant other had a child in New York before deciding to part ways. You relocate to Arkansas, while your spouse and the child move to Michigan. The court informs you that you must travel to and from New York in order to attend the court proceedings there once you make a request for child custody and child support here in Michigan. 

How is this possible?

This scenario is typical for many Michigan parents who migrate and subsequently want to request or change child custody and child support orders, regardless of the combination of states involved.

Where Should You File Your Child Custody Case

The “home state” of your child is where you must submit your custody case. Only if Michigan is your child’s home state will a court there have jurisdiction over the case. In general, for your child to be considered a resident of Michigan, they must have resided there with a parent for at least six consecutive months prior to the filing of the case (or from birth). If a parent still resides in Michigan and the child was born there, Michigan may also be considered the child’s home state even if the child is now residing in another state.

Michigan may not be your child’s home state if they now reside elsewhere or have not done so for the previous six months.

You can file a custody lawsuit in a Michigan court if Michigan is the child’s home state, even if you and your child are not citizens of the United States or if the child’s other parent resides in another state.

In most cases, you’ll file your custody case in the Circuit Court’s Family Division in the county where your child resides. You might want to speak with an attorney if you’re unsure whether Michigan is the best state for your custody case or if you already have an ongoing family law issue involving your child.

You may be eligible for free legal assistance if you are on a low income.

How Does The Court Handle Jurisdiction

It is only natural for parents to separate once a marriage ends. In some circumstances, this entails moving one or both parents to another state to live and work in addition to separating homes and having one or both parents leave the family home.

In rare instances, parents who live in different jurisdictions may be involved in paternity or custody issues that are unrelated to marriage and divorce. What does this mean for a parent who is requesting visitation rights, full or partial custody of a child, or any other type of parenting time?

Any child custody lawsuit that seeks to proceed must first establish jurisdiction, and the state that is found to have that jurisdiction may have a significant influence on the outcome. This is due to the fact that various states have distinct laws regarding child custody and custody disputes.

You must first comprehend the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) if you reside in Michigan or wish to file for custody there . What is it, and how will it affect your chances of getting custody of your kids in Michigan? 

What Is Jurisdiction? What is Michigan UCCJEA?

Which state has jurisdiction and is the correct venue for your complaint is the key question in the case we mentioned earlier in this article. The term “jurisdiction” refers to the legal authority a court has to hear a matter and make a decision.

Understanding the distinction between subject matter jurisdiction and personal jurisdiction is crucial to comprehending what jurisdiction actually entails. The authority of a court to issue an order pertaining to a specific person or entity is referred to as personal jurisdiction. The term “subject matter jurisdiction” describes a court’s capacity to hear a specific kind or subject of action.

The National Conference of Commissioners on Uniform State Laws first proposed the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act in 1997. Since then, 49 states, including Michigan, have ratified it. Massachusetts is the lone holdout. According to Act 195, which was approved in Michigan in 2001, “the authorities and obligations of the court in a child-custody procedure involving this state and a proceeding or party outside of this state” are usually set forth.

In matters involving child custody where one parent lives in the state and the other does not, the UCCJEA is used to decide whether Michigan courts have jurisdiction. According to the legislation, a minor child’s “home state” has authority. How is the home state of a child determined?

The home state is defined by the Michigan UCCJEA as the state in which a child resided with a parent or a person acting as a parent for at least 6 consecutive months immediately prior to the commencement of a child-custody proceeding, or, in the case of an infant under 6 months old, the state in which the child resided with a parent or a person acting as a parent from birth.

What if you have an old case in another state but have since moved to Michigan with your child, or if you currently reside in Michigan but your child is a resident of another state? If this is the case, the other state might have jurisdiction over the matter, or you could use the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act to start a fresh case in Michigan.

How Do You Change Jurisdiction in Your Divorce & Custody Case

Filling out a Michigan UCCJEA Affidavit is the first step in allowing Michigan courts to identify where jurisdiction for a child custody dispute lies. All hope is not lost if it turns out that jurisdiction is in a different state. You do not yet need to be concerned about traveling to another state for a child custody dispute.

A custody ruling from another state may be transferred to Michigan. There are a number of phases to this lengthy procedure, and even if custody has already been decided in another state, there is no assurance that you will be able to transfer that decision.

You have the best chance of successfully completing this intricate process in accordance with the UCCJEA with the help of an experienced family attorney. 

The first step is to file a request with the county clerk in the Michigan county where you currently reside, requesting that the custody decision be moved from another state to Michigan.

You will need to supply a variety of relevant details, such as the circumstances surrounding the current custody arrangement and custody determination proceedings in another state, among other things. 

Even if you are unable to do so right now, you can still take the necessary procedures to attempt to transfer custody determination at some point according to the Michigan UCCJEA, which provides guidance for parents wishing to establish Michigan as the jurisdiction for custody decision.

Two distinct uniform acts control the Court’s jurisdiction over children and support in interstate matters. The UCCJEA, which also governs the enforcement of custody and parenting time orders issued by courts in other states, serves as the foundation for identifying which state’s court should handle custody/parenting time disputes. The Uniform Interstate Family Support Act (UIFSA), which establishes a framework for deciding which state’s court shall handle paternity cases and child/spousal support disputes, also controls the execution of support decisions issued by other states.

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Your fiancé resides in another state and has a child from a previous relationship. Your fiance and the former spouse are currently having joint custody of their child. How can I marry a fiance with joint child custody out of state, you ask yourself? Your own marriage won’t necessarily get affected. 

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You can still pursue marriage with your fiance. You can accomplish your marriage goals as long as you keep an open mind while doing so. As soon as you marry your fiancé, you’ll become a stepparent. You must begin thinking through the role you will play in the lives of your soon to be husband and step child. Rather than trying to act as the child’s parent, the best role to play is to be a good host.

Stop for a moment. Do realize that when you marry your fiance, you are going to start a blended family.

The Challenges of Becoming A Stepparent In a Blended Family

First marriages continue to experience divorce at a rate of about 50%. In other words, a large number of people get married again and live together again. Each person carries their own special “baggage” to a new relationship, regardless of whether you remarry or simply cohabitate. This baggage often takes the form of children.

For a lot of individuals, marrying someone who has a child from a prior relationship means developing a bond not just with the adult partner but also with the child. If the relationship breaks down, this can be very difficult since you’ll feel like you’re losing a child you’ve grown to love and consider your own, even though you’re not blood relatives. This ideally is how a blended family is formed.

A blended family, also known as a stepfamily, reconstituted family, or a complex family, can be defined simply as a family unit in which one or both parents have children from a prior relationship but have come together to form a new family. The parents might not have children together and they might be in a heterosexual or same-sex relationship.

Blended families may run into problems with child support, medical choices, and other complicated challenges like:

• [a] Family members’ roles may conflict when their children are of different ages, such as when a parent’s older child takes on the role of the family’s eldest and the younger children of the other family must learn to fill the vacancy.
• [b] The strain on the original parents to balance the needs of their children and the new partner(s), especially when there may be a clash of values.
• [c] Conflicting family ideals and obligations of each family member in terms of daily tasks, proper conduct, and other expectations
• [d] Problems with social graces between the biological parent who isn’t participating and the new stepparent, and which one is serving as which kind of role model
• [e] Communication problems over how to jointly raise the children
• [f] Stepchildren frequently push the limits of the new family dynamic and trigger concerns on discipline.

Discipline is among the most difficult issues that arise when two families merge. Although it can be challenging, it can be nearly impossible to discipline someone else’s children. Regardless of the child’s age, consistent and effective discipline requires ongoing communication between the biological parent and the stepparent. 

Periodically, it is important to explain the clear expectations for parenting, guiding, and supervising the kids. When combining families, be reasonable. To encourage stepchildren to appreciate and accept the new parent’s decisions, it is essential to invest time in developing a relationship with them.

Parents have a difficult task ahead of them in the real world of family strife, grieving, trust issues, and unreasonable expectations as they attempt to mend the scars caused by divorce, remarriage, and immediate siblings.

The Benefits of Having A Blended Family

While it may appear that stepfamilies have a difficult time combining two families into one and that it is sometimes easier to dissolve the marriage, there are also numerous advantages to a blended family as well:

• [a] Children benefit from having two or more loving parents who serve as positive role models.
• [b] Every family member gains a greater appreciation for diversity and individual uniqueness.
• [c] There is frequently more financial and emotional assistance available for the entire family.
• [d] It’s possible for new siblings to get along well with one another and develop bonds of care and support.
• [e] The new family structure may be more wholesome than the old one, providing a more tranquil and stable home.

Many blended families eventually overcome their challenges and develop into solid, encouraging family groups for each member. There are successful blended families out there, and with a lot of patience, blended families may succeed just as much as traditional families.

Do Stepparents Even Have Parental Rights

The rights of stepparents are somewhat ambiguous under the law, and each state will handle the situation differently. But some broad generalizations are possible.

A stepparent is typically referred to as a “legal stranger” to the child. 

When a person marries a child’s biological parent, they do not instantly acquire or share that parent’s parental rights in the child. Although divorce might end a marriage, it does not revoke the parents’ legal authority to parent a child. The parents continue to share joint physical and legal custody. Stepparents may be able to influence minor children and help the biological parent with their responsibilities, but they do not automatically acquire any rights or obligations as a result of a marriage.

Adoption is the most popular way for stepparents to acquire parental rights. Parental rights difficulties are frequently settled by adopting a stepchild. However, adoption is a very difficult process.

According to Michigan law, a parent or guardian of a minor child may designate another person as the temporary beneficiary of a power of attorney that transfers parental responsibility. Without the need for a judge’s intervention, a stepparent can be temporarily granted parental responsibility for a period of no more than six months, which can be extended.

The state of Michigan, however, considers it a felony punishable by a fine of up to $100,000 or by up to 20 years in prison, or both, if a parent makes an attempt to use a power of attorney to transfer the legal or physical custody of a child with the intent to permanently relieve a parent of parental responsibility. 

A person who helps, aids, abets, or conspires with a parent to do this act, including the person receiving the transfer of parental authority, is also guilty of a felony in the state of Michigan and is subject to a fine of up to $100,000 or a term of imprisonment of up to 20 years, or both.

Another way to acquire parental authority is to have guardianship.The probate court may appoint a guardian for an unmarried minor. In the county where the minor resides or is present at the time of filing, anyone concerned about the welfare of a minor—or a minor who is 14 years old or older—may petition for the appointment of a guardian on their behalf.

The finer elements of blended families are brought to light by comprehending the differences between the definition of a blended family and the definition of a family in general. Although blended families have advantages due to their particular family structure, parents of children with diverse parents nonetheless confront additional problems. 

Statistics on blended families support both of these views. No matter what biological or legal ties may or may not be there, taking a deeper look at your blended family enables you to recognize the special qualities and worth of each person.

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