Vengeful divorce. My ex is making me miserable. What do you do if your ex-spouse is hell-bent on making you miserable? 

When two parties get divorced they turn over the jurisdiction of their marriage to the court. You are designating someone to be a referee in the person of a judge. Saying your spouse is vengeful is a perspective. It’s your description of how you are reacting to the other person, your spouse.

Click here to watch the video on Vengeful Divorce My Ex is Making Me Miserable

Courts in Michigan don’t have to know what’s driving the divorce. It will grant any divorce for as long as it complies with statutes and there are no contested issues to resolve. The court will determine the outcome of your case with fairness and equity. The degree of vengefulness of your spouse is not a factor in your divorce.

Will a vengeful spouse be a factor in my divorce proceedings?

The courts in Michigan prescribe certain requirements before filing for divorce. There is also a host of requirements during the divorce process.

Spouses in Michigan will be complying with particular residency criteria. Couples must meet these criteria when seeking to dissolve their marriage. You must adhere to various state-specific requirements. These requirements must be correct and complete before submitting to the Michigan courts.

One spouse must have the residency requirements. You can consummate the marriage anywhere. Or where the other spouse resides at the moment won’t matter. Only the residency requirements matter.

If there are no children involved in the divorce, the waiting period in Michigan is 60 days.

Rendering divorce judgment within sixty days or less makes the divorce void. A court can waive the six-month waiting time. It’s a discretion allowed under Michigan law, but not the sixty-day one.  The judge may shorten the waiting period when there is “severe hardship”. Or such an urgent need appeals to the conscience of the court. But never less than sixty days.

Following the filing of the complaint, the opposite party has a set period of time to respond.

The court sets a waiting period of six months for divorce in marriages with minor children.  The Michigan judicial system faces significant pressure to render decisions in divorce matters. This pressure stems from the obligation to render decisions within a year. The majority of child custody disputes run more than six months. But they occasionally end sooner than a year.

There is an alternative to protracted court battles. The alternative is collaborative divorce. 

In a collaborative divorce, parties agree to end the marriage without going to court. Instead, the parties consult with trained professionals. Your spouse and you will attend a court hearing as part of the collaborative law process. The parties request the court to ratify the agreement you two came up with together. Professionals assist in the process. The parties can safeguard their privacy. That while avoiding the hassle, cost, and unpredictability of divorce litigation.

A vengeful spouse can make any of the above proceedings difficult for you. Getting around it is going to be challenging but not impossible. Your spouse’s vengefulness is not going to be a factor in your divorce.

Do I need to worry about my vengeful spouse?

You’ll find bothersome behaviors in a vengeful spouse. In all the divorce procedures, all that behavior will now hound you. It will have many opportunities during the divorce process.

You will see it exhibited in the following phases of the divorce process.

You have a “cooling off” time throughout the waiting period. 

The phrase “cooling off” period may not be the ideal word to use with a vengeful spouse. Think about all the things your vengeful spouse is about to do. Your spouse is going to be a difficult partner at home and at work. The waiting period presents an opportunity for your vengeful spouse.  An opportunity to cause “minor” and “infuriating” troubles.

The filing of the divorce complaint.

Both of you were very vocal about it. It’s possible that you already knew it was coming. A vengeful spouse might want to enjoy the satisfaction of seeing your expression. Especially when they deliver the divorce papers as a “surprise”. In your situation, the surprise might be contextual. It can cause a grimace, jaw-dropping wrath, or annoyance. Your vengeful spouse will find satisfaction in it.

The response to the complaint.

Your vengeful spouse could want to wait until the very last minute to respond to the complaint. Although you can’t be sure if their attorney will enjoy it. To block the process from moving forward, your opponent might wish to respond at a turtle pace. Or take their time to almost any gesture to keep the process lagging.

Defying court orders.

Your partner can enjoy disobeying court orders to make you go around in circles. To spite you, a vengeful spouse can risk receiving a contempt citation. The lying part will come in helpful. Your vengeful spouse will resort to lying when the court mandates an inventory of assets. This is in preparation for the property division. A vengeful spouse may even use the children. The spouse can use children as a negotiating chip when it comes to parenting time and custody.

The discovery phase.

It is at the discovery phase that your vengeful spouse will lie and obfuscate to the best of their ability. The spouse will be reluctant, secretive, and use delay tactics. When delivering necessary documents and information, you won’t actually get anything discovered.

The arbitration or mediation process.

Delivering annoyance is the sole goal of being vengeful. Make you angry. Finding common ground is the aim of both arbitration and mediation. The only thing a vengeful spouse has in common with other people is their desire to knock you to the ground. Because the vengeful spouse won’t give in or compromise, there won’t be a middle ground.

Your vengeful spouse is going to try a lot of things to poke at you. Remember that courts have processes. Courts and judges follow a schedule. It can be slow but it will bring every case to an end. Stay focused because the court is single-minded when it comes to resolving your case. The court will do it within the schedule prescribed by law.

What should I do to deal with a vengeful divorce?

A vengeful spouse is a vindictive person. We talked about a vindictive spouse a while back in an article. The article was, “How To Deal With A Vindictive Spouse During Divorce In Michigan.” The article talked about what a vindictive spouse can do to you in the course of the divorce. Michigan subscribes to a “no-fault” divorce. 

There is no secret to avoiding a vengeful spouse. Your partner is a person. That person is suffering. It’s your fault. It may be or it may not. It could be your spouse’s fault or undoing. The fields of psychiatry and psychotherapy are professions dedicated to treating such suffering.

Here are some things you can do.

Talk to your attorney.

Wizards won’t be necessary for divorce. You need a good attorney. So the first wise course of action is to hire a competent lawyer. One who shares your expectations for how your divorce will proceed. We advocate this. Hire a lawyer who shares your goals for how you and your spouse want the divorce resolved. Your lawyer may even have had success handling a vengeful spouse in the past. Your attorney knows the court processes and requirements.

Consider talking to your spouse.

We know it’s difficult. It’s challenging already because of the term vindictive. The conversation should be about the children instead of you and your spouse. You should try, especially if there are young children involved in the divorce. You must discuss how the divorce process affects the children. How being apart from them is its ultimate result. Both of you ensure that your children comprehend these concepts. You will need to explain things to them and work together. Not for your benefit or that of your spouse, but rather for the benefit of the kids.

Worry about the financial future of everyone.

Worry about child and spousal support. You must worry about finding a place to live and better ways to make a living. Adopting a collaborative mindset helps. It helps in maintaining the way of life and the standard of living of your children.

Be conscious of your behavior.

You must be deliberate in your actions. Your vengeful spouse is already after you. Avoid acting in a way that stokes your spouse’s resentment. You must also exercise discipline.  You might bring a behavior as a response to your spouse with you. Your own children might witness how you react to your spouse.

When desperate, avoid using your children.

Don’t badmouth your spouse to your children out of frustration. Avoid doing it. It won’t be beneficial for your children. It won’t benefit you in any way when the court is deciding who gets to keep the kids, either. Do not try to earn your wife’s favor by using your child as leverage.  Leveraging by preventing contact or limiting parenting time.

Do self-care for your mental and your emotional health.

Even the mere thought of divorce is stressful. A vengeful wife makes it much more challenging. Look for more innovative and effective ways to reduce your stress. If you think you need it, seek counseling or therapy. Identify your center. To maintain your attention on what’s important, gather yourself.

The court proceeds with a divorce regardless of what is motivating or causing it. In all the drama that surrounds divorce cases, the court focuses on the child’s best interest. The court sticks to the procedural and statutory requirements of the divorce case. And so should you.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

The court-ordered parenting time schedule will be thrown off if you move your child. The effects of the child’s new residence should be considered by you.  What you need to know about relocation & change of domicile is not about filling up forms. The established routine of the child, which includes parenting time, is significantly impacted by relocation and changing of residence.

Click here to watch the video on What You Need to Know About Relocation & Change of Domicile in Michigan

The court must be informed of the important reason for the relocation. There is a lot of work to do in order to justify moving. An attorney will need weeks to compile the information to learn more about your change of address. Hearings will be scheduled by the court. Motions must be submitted. Your court filing for your proposed change of residence must be completed months in advance.

The question of relocation and change of domicile is not really much of an issue of divorce as it is of child custody and parenting time. Relocation and change of domicile are disruptive decisions affecting the routine of parents and children alike. You chose a home, a residence, or a domicile for stability. A sudden move to change is the opposite of stability.

What is a domicile?

The question of determining residency and domicile is material to the determination of tax and the administration of service to residents of a particular state. Any state would like to know who should be under their tax laws or who should access benefits provided by the state.

According to section 206.18 of Chapter 206 Income Tax Act of 1967 of 2016 Michigan Compiled Laws a resident is defined as:

[ a ]  It applies to natural persons, a person who is domiciled in the state.

[ b ]  It applies to an estate, a decedent’s estate who was a resident of this state at the time of his or her death.

[ c ]  It applies to a trust, any trust established by the will of a decedent who, at the time of his death, resided in this state, as well as any trust established by, or made up of, a person residing in this state, at the time the trust becomes irreversible.

[ d ]  It applies to a corporation, the term “resident” denotes a corporation formed in accordance with the laws of this state.

A taxable year is presumed to have ended on the date of death for the purposes of the definition of “resident” under the tax code.

A person’s “domicile” is the location of their true, fixed, and major residence, from which they expect to return anytime they are away. A person’s domicile lasts until they establish another permanent residence. If a person changes their status from resident to nonresident or vice versa throughout the tax year, their taxable income must be calculated separately for each status. A person is considered to be a resident who resides in this state if they spend at least 183 days here during the tax year or more than half of the time during a tax year that is less than 12 months.

You are allowed to have more than one residence, but only one domicile at a time. This domicile is kept up until a new permanent residence is found. Your domicile can only be altered once all of the following conditions are satisfied:

[ 1 ]  You specifically intend to leave your current domicile,

[ 2 ]  You specifically intend to acquire a new domicile, and

[ 3 ]  You have physically moved into your new domicile.

You must provide precise evidence for each of these three conditions.

How Will Relocation or Change in Domicile Impact a Custody Order?

Remarrying divorced parents or one parent being given a new job may require moving the children under a Michigan child custody decree more than 100 miles from their existing legal address are both common occurrences. People or families can have legitimate reasons for moving and relocating, a trend in urban migration seen already in today’s population.

What Are the Common Reasons for Relocating or Changing Domicile? 

Here are common and legitimate reasons for families or couples moving.

[ a ]  Job changes and career opportunities

[ b ]  New relationship or change in lifestyle

[ c ]  Preference for a specific school district

[ d ]  Financial restrictions and challenges

[ e ]  Rent or buy choices in housing

[ f ]  Need for more livable space

[ g ]  Change of ambiance and scenery

[ h ]  Recovering from or avoiding COVID-19

When parents have a court order for custody and visitation, the document specifies their legal responsibilities with regard to a child’s relocation. Whether a parent needs a court permit before moving depends on the sort of custody they have. A parent who receives sole custody of a child is given complete legal and physical custody of the child. As an alternative, if joint custody is granted, both parents share the child’s legal rights and are required to routinely see the child. 

Changes to a child’s domicile may be prohibited by a Michigan custody order. If so, a fresh court order must be requested by the parent who wants to move away with the child.

What Kind of Relocation Requires Approval by the Court?

Changes to a child’s domicile are prohibited by Michigan custody statutes unless certain conditions are met. Any move to a home more than 100 miles away from the child’s existing abode necessitates the consent of the other parent or court approval. Even if it’s only a few miles away, a court must allow the move if one parent wants to take the child to a home in another state. However, the parent will probably still be required to participate in court proceedings after the move. 

What Do You Need to Do to Get Approval From the Court?

The parent who wants to change the child’s residence must submit a motion with the Michigan state courts if the other parent objects and judicial approval is necessary. A justification for the motion is required. Relocation is frequently done for work-related reasons, educational possibilities, or familial ties. It is legal for one parent to object to the move and request a court hearing. The court must consider a number of issues before rendering a ruling.

The court must take into account whether the relocation could enhance the child’s quality of life or damage his or her relationships with both parents. If the judge approves the transfer, the court must also consider each parent’s track record of compliance with the existing custody arrangement to assess if the relocated parent would adhere to a modified visitation schedule.

What Are the Exceptions to the Rule Regarding Relocation?

The 100-mile limit defined in Michigan Compiled Laws § 722.31(3) has two exceptions. 

First off, as long as you stay in Michigan, you do not need the court’s permission to move even further apart if you and the other parent were already more than 100 miles apart at the start of custody negotiations.

Second, you do not need the other parent’s permission or the court’s approval before moving if domestic violence is a threat. To find a safe place, you are free to travel without permission as far as you need to. You can even bring your child. You must nonetheless inform the court of your new address. In order to prevent the controlling parent from finding you, the court can keep your information confidential.

Even if you moved because of domestic abuse, you’ll still need the court’s approval to stay there. To establish if your new residence is appropriate, the court will review your case and the aforementioned considerations.

How Does the Court Make Determinations About Domicile?

Changing your child’s address used to be pretty simple in Michigan; all that was needed was for the parent with primary physical custody to complete a form with the child’s new address. The Friend of the Court would get the form. It was still necessary to obtain a court order before 2001 in order to relocate outside of Michigan.

The ability to move your child’s residence has become much more challenging since 2001. Another way to look at it is that Michigan courts place more importance on upholding the initial custody and visitation arrangement reached between a child’s parents.

The Test Case Challenging Relocation

The court in Watters v. Watters, 112 Mich App 1 (1981), adopted four-part criteria that had been applied in D’Onofrio v. D’Onofrio, 144 NJ Super 200. (1976).

These are the factors the court must take into account:

[ a ]  The potential benefits of the move should be taken into account by the court in light of how likely it is to enhance both the custodial parent’s and the children’s overall quality of life.

[ b ]  It must assess the sincerity of the custodial parent’s motivations for wanting to relocate in order to ascertain whether the removal is primarily motivated by a desire to thwart or frustrate the noncustodial parent’s visitation rights and whether the custodial parent is likely to abide by substitute visitation orders once the parent is no longer within the jurisdiction of this State’s courts.

[ c ]  It must also evaluate the noncustodial parent’s sincerity in opposing the removal and the degree, if any, to which the objection is meant to obtain a financial benefit in relation to ongoing support obligations.

[ d ]  Finally, if removal is permitted, the court must be convinced that there will be a practical chance for visitation in place of the weekly schedule that can serve as an appropriate foundation for maintaining and strengthening the parental relationship with the noncustodial parent.

The 2001 case D’Onofrio v. D’Onofrio led to stronger protection of parental time agreements in Michigan. This case served as the inspiration for Michigan’s new law, MCL 722.31(4), which addresses the relocation of a young child.

When deciding whether to grant a parent’s request to move a minor child, the original D’Onofrio court considered the above-mentioned four elements. The D’Onofrio case wasn’t even under the jurisdiction of Michigan. The case was litigated in the state of New Jersey.

Institutionalizing the 4 Factors in D’Onofrio v. D’Onofrio

Michigan eventually adopted the same 4 factors after the courts in New Jersey decided on a 4-factor examination for requests to move a child. Michigan quickly added a fifth element to the list following that. The final element relates to domestic violence. 

In Michigan, we continue to apply the original four D’Onofrio factors in addition to the fifth element that has been introduced for the judge’s consideration. The following details the factors:

[ 1 ]  Whether the move is in the best interests of the child and the moving parent. Will both the parent’s and the child’s quality of life improve?  The judge will place less attention on the parent who wants to move away and more emphasis on how to improve the child’s life.

[ 2 ]  Is it the parent’s intention to relocate to frustrate the parenting time plan, or has each parent complied with and used their allotted parenting time with the child?

[ 3 ]  Whether or if, in light of the move, each parent will still be able to maintain and grow a positive relationship with the child. Can the parenting time schedule be modified due to a move, and if so, will both parents be likely to follow the modified schedule?

[ 4 ]  Whether the parent who is opposed to the change in legal residence is doing so for financial gain. Is this parent attempting to enforce a support obligation?

[ 5 ]  The child’s safety: Will moving put them in a scenario of domestic violence? Will the children be in a position where they might witness domestic violence even if they aren’t the victim of it?

What is best for the child is the main consideration of the court in any custody or parenting time dispute in Michigan. Before deciding whether to permit or refuse relocation, the court may also consider “best interest factors” in addition to the above-mentioned factors.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

Can I avoid my ex dragging out the divorce process? The court has the power to prevent your ex from prolonging the divorce process. You must, however, show or provide evidence that your ex is intentionally delaying the process in order to annoy, harass, or pursue other undesirable objectives. 

Click here to watch the video Can I Avoid My Ex Dragging Out the Divorce Process in Michigan?

The court can actually stop accepting frivolous motions if it is done with ulterior purposes or impose penalties. You must realize that there is a significant difference between a case that is simply taking a while and one that drags on. The court may not share your opinion that a case is taking too long.

Divorce may be an agonizing and protracted process for some couples.  A fair pace and amicable resolution to your divorce are possible. Even reticent couples may not have complete control over the divorce procedure. Your divorce can be started as soon as possible so that you can go on with your life more quickly. 

Are There Reasonable Delays in the Divorce Process?

The court has internal processes and rules of procedure to follow. A lot of these rules, submissions, and compliance require a processing and waiting period. There is what you can say a lag in the process. These are what you can consider reasonable delays. The time allocated for procedures and compliances is unavoidable and is there to facilitate the compliance of parties in litigation.

To avoid adding more time on top of these reasonable delays, it is best you do everything in your power to comply with court rules and procedures as quickly and responsibly. This is where the role of your attorney comes in handy since they are already experts in the nuances of compliance and the rules of court.

Checking your residency is the first step in determining whether you can really file for divorce in Michigan. This will save you all the time waiting for nothing simply because you chose the venue where you are not qualified to file.

You or your spouse must have lived outside of Michigan for at least 180 days before filing. A circuit court in the county where you or your spouse have lived for at least ten days prior to filing is where a divorce must be filed. You are not needed to file in your home county, though. You may do so if your spouse resides there.

There is a set amount of time after you make your complaint for the opposing party to respond.

Hearings on divorce must be held a year after the complaint is submitted. Therefore, a couple has a year to attempt to settle their disputes through mediation or negotiation. The court will now go forward with the division of marital assets, child support payments, child custody and parenting time, spousal support, and other matters after this opportunity for negotiation or mediation. The court will spend a lot of time on each of the aforementioned issues because they are all already contentious on their own.

Even if the divorce is uncontested, it cannot be finalized unless you and your husband appear at the hearing. The court clerk should arrange the hearing for you if your petition and your request for a consent order were submitted together.

Before the hearing date, you must wait at least 60 days after filing your divorce papers. If you have minor children, you must typically wait six months before filing for divorce. To secure a waiver of the long waiting period, you could assert that it would cause an “extraordinary hardship” or that you have another strong reason to finalize your divorce sooner.

Go check out our article on, “Michigan Divorce Timeline” where we talked about the mandatory 60 and 180 days timelines and the reason waiting periods are institutionalized.

What Is Driving My Ex to Drag Out the Divorce Process?

In many divorce instances, there are two divorcing spouses who each acknowledge that their marriage is over. However, in other situations, one of the partners refuses to accept the breakdown of the marriage. It doesn’t rule out the possibility of divorce, but it does make things more difficult and prolong the process. 

What is driving your ex to drag out or prolong the divorce process?

Let’s talk about what’s driving your ex to delay the divorce process.

Your ex-spouse is not ready for a divorce or refuses to have one.

The other person doesn’t genuinely want a divorce, which is one factor and arguably the easiest to understand. Some people really don’t want their marriage to end, and they cling to the hope that with a little more time, they might be able to keep it together. Some people find it difficult to let go or sincerely think they can still save their marriage, which makes this defense of delaying divorce perhaps the least deceptive.

Your ex-spouse is resentful.

Your partner’s behavior is resentful. Your ex-spouse is outraged by the divorce and wants to watch you endure a drawn-out process for months or years. Since they often feel they have little influence over the situation, delaying the divorce process is one way for your ex-spouse to feel in charge.

Your ex-spouse is fiddling with money.

Your spouse is playing with money. The most nefarious excuse for postponing a divorce is when your partner is trying to hide assets, raise your legal costs, stop paying you support, leave you homeless, or run up your attorney fees. These partners frequently engage in a relentless battle to keep you from receiving your fair settlement.

Every stage of the divorce procedure gives the opposite party a limited window to stop the development of your divorce case. Simply put, we’re saying limited because eventually the court will step in and force the divorce case’s calendar to follow the guidelines set by administrative regulations governing the divorce procedure.

How Can I Avoid My Ex Dragging Out the Divorce Process?

Although they may temporarily block or delay the divorce process, your spouse cannot really stop it. There are various ways to get around these delaying strategies, but let’s concentrate on the ones that have the biggest impact on the general course of your case or what we might consider the critical path to the case’s outcome.

Here are some suggestions as to what you can do to keep the case moving forward.

[ 1 ]  Be sure to file everything correctly the first time. Make sure you filed in the appropriate court and fulfilled the residence requirement.

[ 2 ]  Have your spouse receive the divorce petition by using a process server or a similar delivery agency.

[ 3 ]  Request the court’s permission to post the notice in a newspaper or other publication if you can’t locate your spouse to submit the petition.

[ 4]  Follow a waiting period of 60 to 180 days before the court can officially decree your divorce, depending on whether you and your spouse had children together.

[ 5 ]  Follow the waiting period’s guidelines. There is a 60–180 day waiting time if you and your spouse have children before the court can pronounce your divorce to be complete.

[ 6 ]  Do not ask for a default decision until the customary time has expired, during which your spouse has 21 to 28 days from the date you served the papers to respond.

[ 7 ]  Speak with your attorney so you can discuss the issues you need to be prepared for, especially now that you know whom you’re working with. We are, in fact, referring to your spouse, the opposing party to your divorce.

You may also opt for mediation. You can ask the court to set up a settlement conference if your partner declines to attend mediation. Usually, settlement meetings take place in the judge’s chambers at the courthouse. If a judge is present, your partner might take the situation more seriously. You must maintain your composure and go forward if your spouse is attempting to put off getting divorced.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

Are you worried about losing custody of your children? Most people who ought to be concerned about it because of their behavior, their neglect, or their abuse aren’t. The folks who are truly concerned about it definitely don’t need to be.

Click here to watch the video on Are You Worried of Losing Custody of Your Children?

The outcomes of a custody dispute are unknown to us. The fact is that the best interest factors are always taken into account by courts. In child custody cases, courts make decisions very slowly and in little steps. It’s not for a lack of knowledge or effectiveness; rather, it’s being purposeful in reaching its findings. A dozen considerations used to determine a child’s best interest are taken carefully by the court when considering long-term custody issues.

What Does the Court Look for in Child Custody Cases?

It is less about you versus the other spouse in a custody battle and more about your capacity to consider what is best for your child. Therefore, in order to defend oneself against a divorce complaint, nothing is truly required of you. A “no-fault” divorce is legal in Michigan. There is no justification required for divorce. However, if you’re discussing child custody, it’s probably something you should consider.

The judge has the authority to impose various custody arrangements. If the judge decides it is in the child’s best interests, she or he might sign the court order establishing the custody arrangement with the approval of both parents.

We posted an article, “What Do Judges Look for in Custody Cases in Michigan?” describing in much detail what the court looks for in determining who ultimately gets custody of the child.

There are two very important considerations the family court look at when doing a custody determination: the established custodial environment of the child and the best interest factors.

The Established Custodial Environment of the Child

The existence of an established custodial environment must be proven before the court can issue a new custody order or modify an existing one. The law stipulates that the custodial environment of a child is formed if, for a significant amount of time, the child naturally looks to the custodian in that environment for direction, discipline, basic needs, and parental comfort. The child’s age, the environment in which he or she lives, and the child’s and the custodian’s preferences for a long-term connection must all be taken into account.

The law also stipulates custody arrangements for children should not be altered whenever possible. To minimize any misunderstandings, the judge will always ask one or both parents about the child’s established custodial environment, or ECE, before making any decisions. If so, additional details would be needed before a judge could make a change to the current situation.

When deciding whether there is an ECE, the judge takes into account the child’s life. Does the child depend on one or both of the parents for support, affection, and other requirements like food and shelter, for example? Is the child old enough to have had some experience with the current situation?

The Best Interest Factors

When parents dispute over the custody of their children, it’s simple for them to prioritize their own wants and needs over what would be best for the children. The majority of Michigan families settle their divorce or child custody dispute out of court using mediation or a negotiated settlement. They might decide that a joint custody arrangement is ideal for the children, or that one parent will serve as the primary caregiver.

It may be necessary for a court to make a decision in a case regarding what is best for the child or children. When that occurs, courts and family law practitioners are guided by the Child Custody Act’s “best interest factors.” This set of 12 factors ensures custody decisions are centered on the child’s interests, placing them at the center of the dispute.

Each parent will be given the chance to speak on the factors related to the best interests of the child during the hearing on custody and parenting time. When determining what is in the child’s best interests, the court may not be obligated by law to consider all factors equally. The judge decides how much importance to assign to each factor.

What Will Make Me Lose Child Custody?

For a variety of reasons, parents could lose custody of their children. In Michigan, custody battles are frequently resolved through the legal system. The court looks at the relationships you have with your child and spouse. Your behavior will be thoroughly monitored. We published an article, “3 Reasons Parents Lose Custody of Their Kids in Michigan” to explain the circumstances parents may lose custody of their children.

Let’s briefly mention the three reasons you can lose custody of your children.

Reason 1: Failing to Comply with Court Orders

You want to make a point of not allowing your ex to see the children because you have custody and don’t get along with your ex. You want to relish seeing how difficult it is for your ex to be away from the children. Therefore, it is not surprising that restricting a parent’s ability to see their children is a way to strike revenge against the parent who is allegedly abusing them.

Keep in mind that the chance for the parenting time you both apparently deserve was made possible by a court order. It’s a judicial directive. There are consequences and punishments if a court order is broken and the parent is denied access to the children.

Reason 2: Abuse and Neglect of Children

Child abuse in Michigan is defined as sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, or mistreatment by a parent, legal guardian, or any other person responsible for the child’s care. This includes any damage to a child’s health or welfare that results from a non-accidental physical or mental injury, as well as any danger of such harm.

When a parent, guardian, or other adult fails to provide for a child’s basic needs, it is considered child neglect. These necessities include having access to food, water, clothing, and a safe place to live. Another illustration of this is failing to give a child the proper care and education.

In the event that parents are unable to care for their children personally, they must arrange for someone else to do so. A court may declare a parent’s parental rights to be revoked if they leave their child at home alone since the court may view this as having abandoned the child.

Reason 3: Alienating the Other Parent

Never express displeasure with your spouse in front of your children. This causes injury to their delicate psyches and makes the process challenging for them because the children are unduly included in the conflict between you and your ex-spouse. When you must contend with a vengeful spouse or an ex who has the malicious spouse syndrome, it can be challenging to control your criticism and sometimes even your anger.

It is crucial to maintain emotional control even if it can be challenging in stressful situations like divorce or a child custody dispute. You may feel tempted to give in to your emotions and explode in a rage, but you must resist the urge. A parent who exhibits strong, volatile emotions, particularly ones like fury, is less likely to be granted custody of a child by a court in Michigan. Even if your partner is angry and bitter, it is best to refrain from giving in to their demands because doing so will only make your situation worse.

Despite your opinion, the other parent hasn’t done anything to deserve it, they must always be respected. The court will have the opportunity to see why you are the best person to represent the child’s interests by virtue of your honorable actions, which will also serve to protect your child. Simply put, you shouldn’t chastise or disparage your spouse in front of others.

Should I Worry About My Custody Case?

Parents who are doing the right things and desiring the best for their children ironically are also the most anxious about the probable outcome of their child custody case. If you have constantly the best interest of your child in mind, the court will in all likelihood rule in your favor. However, if well-intentioned you have to be conscious of things that will most likely be used against you.

We put together some dumb and shameless things a parent can do to get in trouble in a custody case. There’s a list of these things in our article, “What Evidence Can Be Used in a Custody Battle in Michigan?” describing the awful things parents do to compromise themselves with the court in an ongoing custody case.

Of course, aside from the everyday stupid things, parents can do disobedience to lawful court orders. Second only to performing poorly in court and in your personal life, nothing will destroy your case more quickly than disobeying court orders. Even though this won’t always result in you losing custody on its own, the court will normally see it as a sign that you scorn their authority.

Here are some more worth mentioning and definitely the ones you need to avoid doing.

Being dishonest

Never let lying or being unfaithful to your partner or spouse pass. Your dishonesty could unduly damage or complicate your child custody case as these are often grounds for dismissal by the court.

Clients can make matters worse by withholding facts from your attorney, increasing the likelihood your attorney will be caught off guard in court. By giving your attorney the whole picture, they will be able to fully comprehend the nuances of your case and decide on the best course of action.

Abusing alcohol or failure to deal with substance abuse.

When you abuse alcohol or drugs, especially when your child is around, your ex has even more reason to be upset with you because you are hurting your child. You must use caution to avoid doing anything that could put your child in danger.

The child’s best interests are considered while determining child custody in Michigan. Although addressing the disease of substance abuse is difficult, if you habitually abuse alcohol or drugs, you should get help. It is undeniable that a parent’s drug or alcohol usage can have a detrimental effect on their child’s development; the court will consider this as a lifestyle choice. For the same reason, we strongly advise avoiding posting images of you consuming alcohol or drugs on social media.

Digitally generating evidence against oneself.

If you post angry rants on Facebook or Instagram or send an angry text to the other parent, you can find yourself at a disadvantage in a Michigan family court. Avoid sharing any pictures, videos, or other materials on social media that can give the impression that you are unfit to be a parent to the court. If people see pictures or videos of you drinking or taking drugs, it won’t do you any good.

Venomous, angry, or violent messages could be used as evidence in your child custody case, causing you irreparable injury. Do not remark on anything your partner or ex-partner posts online or engage in a virtual tit-for-tat.

Unwillingness to accommodate the child’s best interests.

If there are no abuse issues, Michigan courts prefer joint custody arrangements. With engagement, love, and support from both parents, it is believed that a child would thrive. If you are disrespectful or unable to cooperate with them, you can find that the other parent receives more parenting time.

In many circumstances, you can even come to a good parenting arrangement without the assistance of the court if you and the other parent are able to agree to collaborative conversations. But if you refuse to make the necessary concessions, you might not be able to achieve this goal, and the custody dispute trial could use your actions against you.

Failure to engage a family law attorney

If you are engaging in many of the stupid and dishonorable behaviors listed above, you are either not paying attention to sound advice or no one is offering it to you. It strongly suggests that you don’t have a competent lawyer. A good one will never tolerate all the foolish and despicable behaviors mentioned above.

Working with a competent attorney is a requirement if you are sincere about securing your child’s best interests and protecting your personal interests during the child custody proceeding. The behavior that is most convincing to the court is your efforts to act in your child’s best interests.

As long as you have your child’s best interest constantly in mind, you don’t have to worry about losing custody of your child.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

Prenuptial agreements are frequently thought of as ironclad tools for asset protection.  What are the pros and cons of a prenup agreement? The same standards that apply to last will apply to prenuptial agreements. The last will does not foretell death. It is an effort to get prepared for the possibility of death.

Click here to watch the video on the Pros & Cons of a Prenup Agreement in Michigan

The idea of conserving or protecting separate property and the rise in the value of the separate property in the event of a divorce are the benefits of a prenup. The absence of ironclad guarantees in Michigan’s prenup is a downside. If the prenuptial agreement is not equitable, the judge in Michigan has the authority to intervene with the subject of the prenuptial agreement.

Prenuptial agreements have been more commonplace in recent years. In a 2018 survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 62% of lawyers questioned indicated they had observed an increase in the number of clients seeking prenuptial agreements during the previous three years. 

Couples who wait longer to get married and amass more cash and assets prior to becoming engaged may be somewhat to blame for this trend. Given that many millennials getting married now have divorced parents, the prevalence of divorce in earlier generations may also be a factor in the rise in prenuptial agreements.

What Is a Prenuptial Agreement?

A prenuptial agreement, also known as an “antenuptial agreement” in Michigan, is a document that enables future spouses to stipulate how particular issues, such as property division, and alimony, will be resolved in the event of a divorce.

Antenuptial agreements are legally binding in the State of Michigan if they are made in writing and signed by the person who will be held responsible for the agreement, contract, or promise. This is also true of notes or memoranda that include the same information. To put it simply, this implies a court would consider an oral agreement void.

This agreement has a particular duty of disclosure more stringent than the standard negotiated agreement’s duty of disclosure, and it must be signed before being married. Before the agreement is signed, all parties have a duty to reveal their assets; if they fail to do so, the agreement may be void.

The agreement must also be “fair,” according to Michigan courts, and the facts and situation must not have altered between the time it was signed and the time it is being enforced. Any change in circumstances must have been unanticipated and not reasonably foreseeable by the parties prior to or at the time the agreement was made in order for it to be enforced at a later time.

Escalator clauses, which provide a party more money, property, etc. the longer the marriage, are sometimes included in prenuptial agreements. It is also possible to stipulate that the agreement will no longer be binding once a specified number of years have passed after the beginning of the marriage.

A prenuptial agreement in Michigan may cover any topic that is not illegal and doesn’t encourage divorce.

Any of the following can be covered by prenuptial agreements:

[ a ]  Property, commercial interests, and financial accounts to be divided

[ b ]  If the couple will share their retirement accounts equally between the two spouses

[ c ]  Each spouse’s capacity to control the household’s resources during the marriage

[ d ]  The amount and length of alimony payments, as well as whether one spouse will pay the other.

[ e ]  How to share the proceeds of life insurance

[ f  ]  Child support or child inheritance from previous partnerships

[ g ]  What occurs if a partner passes away during a marriage, and

[ h ]  Whether the provisions of the agreement require one or both spouses to execute a will.

Under Michigan, child support or custody cannot ever be decided upon in a prenuptial agreement. Courts won’t allow spouses to agree on a child support sum in advance since the court bases child support on the children’s needs and their parent’s financial capacity. Judges also make custody decisions based on each child’s best interests at the moment of a parent’s separation, never beforehand. Only at the moment of separation, and with the consent of the court, can parents decide on child custody and child support.

What Are the Pros of Prenuptial Agreements?

A prenuptial agreement tries to assist future spouses in planning for the future, protecting their assets, and outlining their finances in detail before getting married. To ensure the prenuptial agreement is mutually beneficial and does not disproportionately benefit one spouse over the other, both parties must have their own legal counsel when negotiating it.

Let’s mention very specific pros of antenuptial or prenuptial agreements.

Wealth Protection

The ability to preserve your wealth with your prospective spouse is a prenuptial agreement’s potential biggest advantage. Contrary to popular belief, protection does not include guarding your assets against one another. A prenuptial agreement enables you and your future spouse to collaborate in protecting both the wealth you bring to the marriage as individuals and the wealth you will accumulate together.

Due to the fact that it necessitates complete and frank disclosure from both parties regarding the assets and debts they will be bringing to the marriage, prenuptial agreements can accomplish this dual wealth protection. Additionally, in order to create a prenuptial agreement, the couple must talk about their financial aspirations for these assets as well as any additional assets they might acquire together in the future.

Smoothen Compliance with Future Legal Processes

A prenup is used in situations other than separation and divorce. Prenuptial agreements can ease the divorce process and reduce stress, but they can also make estate planning and end-of-life planning simpler. In comparison to a standard will, a prenuptial agreement offers you greater flexibility when it comes to leaving an inheritance for your children.

A will doesn’t always provide people the flexibility they’d like when deciding who they want to leave their property to because many jurisdictions, including Colorado, have extremely strict inheritance laws. However, the couple can decide together and, in some ways, mitigate the state’s inheritance laws through a prenuptial agreement. This is just one example of how a prenuptial agreement might make future legal challenges more understandable and manageable.

What Are the Cons of Prenuptial Agreements?

A prenuptial contract does not cover everything. With this kind of arrangement, you cannot control every facet of marriage. Before establishing the prenuptial agreement, you should be aware of these limitations.

Here are some cons to the use of prenuptial agreements.

Provisions of the Agreement Are Not Ironclad

Prenuptial agreements are not actually harmful, thus this is more of a misconception. Prenuptial agreements have sadly earned a poor reputation. Many people mistakenly think they lack romance and fundamentally lack faith in the relationship. Making a legal contract may not be the most romantic thing you can do, but it does not show mistrust or a lack of confidence the relationship will endure.

If the situation has changed in a way that makes it unfair to enforce the agreement, judges may decide to nullify it. The fact one spouse receives a significantly larger portion of the marital estate under the agreement does not automatically render it unenforceable. Even if the prenuptial agreement forbids it, the court may order the other spouse to pay alimony if, for instance, one spouse lost their ability to work due to a disability that occurred during the marriage. For a judge to declare an agreement unenforceable owing to unfairness, there typically has to be an extreme case like that.

The Existence of the Agreement Implies Distrust

People believe that mentioning the drafting of a last will and testament is a foreboding of death. Some see prenup as a foretelling of divorce. A fairytale ending and proposals frequently conjure up ideas of candlelit meals, holding hands, and strolls in the moonlight. Bringing up the possibility of a future divorce is the surest way to ruin that mood. Marriage is a partnership extending beyond romance and touches on serious matters like property and finances, but for some couples, talking about these topics could overshadow this delightful time.

Don’t wait until the wedding invitations have been sent out to bring up a prenup; instead, carefully evaluate the best time and place to bring it up. Not only is that unfair to your future spouse, but in many states, if you coerce your fiancé into signing a prenuptial agreement right before the wedding, a court might declare the contract unlawful because your fiancé didn’t have enough time to thoroughly study the contents.

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When a couple is married in Michigan, both of the spouses are recognized as the child’s legal parents. Both same-sex and opposite-sex relationships can benefit from this. How is this going to work with unmarried couples? Determining parental rights, such as child custody, can be quite challenging, but more so for the biological father than for the mother.

How unmarried moms can get full custody is not really an appropriate question. In a non-marital partnership, the mother is already presumed to have full custody in Michigan. With married couples, the situation isn’t truly the same. When two people get married, it is assumed both parents will have custody.

Click here to watch the video on How Unmarried Moms Can Get Full Custody in Michigan

A motion for custody may need to be made by the father in a non-marital partnership. In the best-case scenario, the father may have joint legal custody. In a non-marital union, it is assumed that the child will stay with the mother for the child’s stability and protection unless the mother is deemed unfit. Until proven otherwise, the unmarried mother is granted complete custody.

Why Is the Issue of Custody Important for Unmarried Moms?

Did you know that in the United States in 2021, there were an additional 15.62 million families with single moms? This translates to a total of 24 million children living in single-parent families. In America, this sum, which has been rising for half a century, affects nearly one in three children. Numerous long-term demographic trends, such as postponing marriage, declining marriage rates, rising divorce rates, and an increase in children born to single moms, have contributed to this rise.

According to information from the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services, a record high of over 43% of Michigan women who gave birth in 2015 were not married, up from 24% in 1989. Using 2015 Children Count data, it ranks Michigan’s 83 counties according to the percentage of births to unmarried moms.

The county with the greatest proportion is Lake County, which is situated on the western border of the state between Grand Rapids and Cadillac. Additionally, Lake County is among the poorest in the state.

In Lake County, 60% of pregnant women in 2015 were single.

The question of custody for unmarried moms is becoming important and relevant today with a growing population of single moms not only in Michigan but in the whole of the U.S. It can be a driver for a host of national and statewide social issues mostly affecting generations of children.

Are There Differences in Maternity-Paternity Rights Between Married and Unmarried Parents?

When a married couple in Michigan files for divorce, it is typical to assume that the parents will split physical custody while sharing legal custody of any children from the marriage. The child’s biological mother is assumed to have sole legal and physical custody in custody disputes involving unmarried parents.

In a relationship of two unmarried parents, clearly by default, the mother gets to be the custodial parent. The father however still needs to establish his status as a parent through legal and extra-legal means.

Unmarried fathers can voluntarily establish paternity with the mother’s consent by executing an Affidavit of Parentage at the hospital where the child is born or at a later time. If paternity is disputed, a father can legally prove parenthood through a procedure that often includes genetic testing to demonstrate a biological connection.

After establishing paternity, a father will need to take extralegal action to establish a new parenting arrangement. But keep in mind that if the mother of the child is married to another man, that man will already be assumed to be the child’s legal father, giving a biological father a very tough time establishing paternity and gaining parenting rights.

How Is Child Custody in an Unmarried Relationship?

If the parents are not married, the mother is assumed to have custody until the court renders a decision. In Michigan, unmarried mothers are assumed to have sole custody of their children, both legally and physically, unless the child’s father has been acknowledged by the courts. However, if paternity has been confirmed, the father of the child is entitled to make a custody claim in the same manner as if the parents were married.

The affidavit of parentage grants the mother primary custody of the child; the father is not awarded visitation privileges. To enforce his rights to custody and parenting time, the father must file a custody action with the court. An Order of Filiation, which was filed with the court, is a legal document governing child support, custody, and parenting time. A father needs this order or something similar to enforce his rights to custody and visitation.

There are some obvious benefits to the Affidavit of Parentage. The father’s signature verifies that he is the child’s father. By getting his name added to the birth certificate of the child, he can exercise his rights to custody and visitation.

Affidavits of Parentage should not be signed by fathers who are unsure of the child’s parentage because doing so waives the right to later request a paternity test to establish biological parentage. However, if a single man is positive he is the father, he should affix his signature to an Affidavit of Parentage either at the moment of the baby’s birth or at any later date. With the help of this document, a man can prove that he is the child’s biological father, and his name will be placed on the birth certificate. Additionally, custodial rights are established.

To summarize, this is what is in store for you in a custody case for unmarried parents:

[ a ]  Unmarried fathers have the right to submit a Notice of Intent to Claim Paternity before or following the birth of a child.

[ b ]  If the mother was married at the time of the child’s birth, unmarried fathers are not entitled to support or visitation (must mutually establish paternity first).

[ c ]  Fathers who are not married have the option of gaining physical custody of their children through adoption or court order.

[ d ]  Until the biological father receives a court order granting him custody rights, the unmarried mother is believed to have primary custody of the child.

A parent does not avoid having to pay child support if he decides not to sign an Affidavit of Parentage. A father cannot be made to provide support if he refuses to acknowledge paternity. The mother or the State of Michigan, however, may first bring a child support action. In order to establish paternity and request a child support determination, a mother may initiate her own legal case.

We have also covered this topic on unmarried parents in our article, “Who Has Custody of A Child If There Is No Court Order in Michigan?” in which we discussed child custody issues for unmarried couples as well as parental rights. 

In plain language, a biological father simply cannot take a child from the mother without obtaining a court order. The father has the option of paternity action or going for adoption.

How Can Unmarried Moms Get Full Custody?

The biological mother will initially receive primary custody in a disagreement over child custody between unmarried parents. In addition, the mother will continue to have primary custody while paternity litigation is ongoing, and the father won’t be allowed to have custody or visits during this period unless an affidavit of parentage is provided.

By default, the mother doesn’t have to fight for custody. The mother has sole custody, legally and physically.

The main challenge for the mother is when the father aggressively pursues custody or a third party challenges her parental rights.

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When there are children, a family consists of the parents or spouses and the children. Your front door just opened, and your ex walked out. You’re thinking, does my ex have rights if they walked out on our family? It might just be about family. It’s also possible that your ex is simply leaving you specifically. Many factors can cause someone to leave. You believe your ex is abandoning the family by leaving.

Click here to watch the video Does My Ex Have Rights if They Walked Out on Our Family in Michigan?

It’s possible that your spouse is just avoiding you in order to keep the peace in the household. It’s possible your ex is not giving up parental rights. Of course, it’s possible your ex is simply giving up on one or more of the children rather than genuinely leaving the family. What will be the rights of an ex-spouse? The court will consider the family’s overall situation and context. It won’t be predicated on a single instance of a spouse leaving the home.

In most cases, leaving entails ending all involvement in the relationship. The most particular effects, however, are the financial element, the loss of connection, and jeopardizing of other marital concerns. 

This can encompass the breakup of a marriage’s business as well as the loss of companionship with the spouse or any children. While the other takes care of the home, one spouse may work. While the husband or wife is in school or earning less money, one person may work. Depending on when they leave home, different things have different effects on the relationship.

Emotional and legal issues are other factors. Usually, the divorce is not caused by the spouse’s departure. But in this situation, there is no dialogue or reaction at all. Emotional upheavals such as fury and despair are experienced by the person who was left behind. Legal action could include presenting the case to the judge and asking for custody or spousal support. A mortgage or business dealings when the couple runs a private or public firm might also enable the lone survivor to seek temporary or emergency financial support as a result of the abandonment.

Does Walking Out on Family a Basis for Divorce?

Because Michigan is a no-fault divorce state, there is no requirement that a person gives a reason for wanting a divorce. It does not imply however, fault cannot be taken into account in the distribution of assets or the payment of alimony. Before 1972, when Michigan passed a no-fault divorce law, a person seeking a divorce had to give a reason for doing so, such as adultery, physical abuse, or abandonment.

The judge could refuse the person’s request for a divorce if they failed to provide sufficient evidence to support their case. Some judges would flat-out refuse to grant a divorce, especially if the party making the motion was a woman. This led to significant social inequity as well as other issues.

Before 1972, if someone left the marital residence for any reason, the court could conclude the person had abandoned the marriage. The court might then issue a divorce decree based on the abandonment. Moreover, it can negate the deserting partner’s claim to a property division, parental rights, and alimony, depending on the circumstances.

After Michigan passed its no-fault law, abandonment started to matter far less. Today, the legal concept of abandonment is seldom ever applied in divorce proceedings.

Is Walking Out on Family Wrong?

Even though it’s frequently awkward and uncomfortable, both parties have the right to live in the marital home until the divorce is formalized. It is typical, though, for parties to eventually find it intolerable to remain in a shared residence. A spouse may occasionally need to leave the house due to major safety concerns such as physical abuse, drug misuse, etc.

It’s not always wrong to abandon your spouse without notice. Consider a spouse who leaves their partner because of unworkable challenges posed by the other spouse, domestic abuse, or both. However, when abandoning your spouse is the reason for the divorce, that person may be regarded “at fault” for the dissolution of the marriage, and being at fault can have legal repercussions in a Michigan divorce case.

When a marriage breaks down, the man frequently leaves first. The mother is commonly but not always, the one who looks after the children the most. However, the father cannot be charged with “abandoning” his children as long as he continues to see them frequently and provides for them. Simply leaving the house is not abandonment in and of itself.

Staying isn’t always the best course of action, especially when you think about the circumstances that frequently result in divorce. Avoiding a domestic argument is a good reason to leave a relationship if the couple cannot seem to stop fighting. It’s more likely to have bad long-term effects if you have a screaming match in front of your children every day while attempting to live in the same place and endure the divorce procedure for several months.

Will My Ex Still Have Rights After the Walk Out?

In Michigan, anyone who chooses to leave the marital home before or during the divorce procedure will still be entitled to their share of the property. Once you move out, it might be challenging to return to reside there, but only if your spouse asked for and was granted a court order barring you from doing so. If not, you own the property as well and are entitled to your share of the marital assets.

It may be very difficult to get legal custody of a child if a parent has not seen the child or been actively involved in the child’s life, but the parent should still be allowed to request parenting time. This depends on how long the parent has been gone. It may be necessary, to begin with, for smaller amounts of parenting time or visitation, but as the bond between the parent and child develops, that can be increased.

A parent’s failure to pay child support normally has no impact on the other parent’s claim to custody or parenting time; likewise, a parent’s inability to file for child support has no impact on the other parent’s capacity to seek child support at any point after the parties divorce. 

If you have children, it’s preferable to come to temporary custody, parenting time, and support arrangement before you leave so you and your spouse can make sure the children continue to have a good relationship with both of you. Contact an attorney right away if you are unable to come to an agreement over your children before you move. In order to protect yourself with regard to custody and parenting time difficulties after the divorce, you should make sure that you are maintaining some form of contact with your children.

Instances where a parent has abandoned their children, such as by abandoning them in a dumpster or the woods, are still considered to be criminal offenses. When people inquire about divorce, this is not often what they have in mind.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.