Are You Fighting Over Spoons and Knives in Your Michigan Divorce?

Stay away from fighting over spoons and knives during a tough divorce. In Michigan, it’s important to pick your battles in a divorce. The expense of legal representation in your divorce case will increase. It makes no sense to pay your attorney $300 to $400 to defend an item you bought at $69.95. 

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Fight for a sentimental cause. Do not struggle for something you do not desire. There are more crucial issues. Your kids matter a lot. Don’t get into debates about things, especially ones you don’t care about. You can always buy something better with what you get later.

 

What skirmishes in divorce are not worth the money or time?

There are wars. There are battles. And there are skirmishes. Your divorce and your custody cases are your battles. The things you need to spend on and focus on are your battles. The trivial things you fret about are your skirmishes. Choose your battles. Avoid useless and unproductive skirmishes.

Avoid instigating a fight out of spite or out of the urge to take revenge. Stop stalling. Avoid reacting to the other party’s frivolous objections and motions. Let your attorney deal with all of it. Your attorney has probably his fair share of battles. And has probably seen all the variations of skirmishes.

Let’s take up the awfully hilarious to downright stupid skirmishes you can take. Here are some things or skirmishes you should not be spending too much time or resources fighting for.

Things belonging to your spouse.

For the sake of avoiding grief, one partner may hang onto something they are aware does not belong to them. Obstructionism may be as basic as holding onto your ex-spouse’s framed diploma. This may be out of your real or perceived role in your spouse earning it. Or your father-in-law’s collection of vinyl records. Do you need a judge to tell you they belong to your spouse? Really?

Very common furniture and fixtures.

It may be hard to believe. Sometimes a deadlock results from a worn-out old rocking chair. A rocking chair from the couple’s apartment in college. An old lampshade. A beat-up bicycle. Spouses don’t always approach arguments sensibly about generally available or outdated items. There are situations when an heirloom or antique is worth the effort.

Tools, equipment, and appliances.

A food processor. Even a set of precision tools can cause major problems during a divorce. Such goods are generally inexpensive and not particularly unique. Couples will turn the distribution of such things into a major argument. Fighting over this kind of ownership occurs more frequently than you might imagine. Maybe it’s a way of getting even with the partner who wanted the item in the first place. Or as an emotional response to a familiar thing.

Food

People do fight over food. Sometimes this is a genuine issue if money is tight. Oftentimes, this is just a front to keep irritating you. Perhaps it’s the caviar from last night’s party. It can be the thawed salmon for sushi. Or the truffles that cost $1200 per pound. Food can stir up strong feelings during certain divorces.

Wedding or old photographs

Reprints or digital storage seem easy enough solutions. The family photos are sometimes a sore point during talks. Pictures and other memories are contentious topics for some couples. It is so for sentimental reasons or to trash them.

Which car goes to whom.

Some might disagree. Some say that how the vehicles are divided is important and complicated. This issue frequently stems from a dispute between the parties. A disagreement about whether to lease or buy a certain mode of transportation. One or the other spouse is more interested in showing off their car. More important than trying to find a solution to their financial predicament. A lot of common sense frequently goes out the window.

Animals or pets.

Many would contend that these are not insignificant matters. Pointing to a close bond with furry family members adopted before the divorce. Some couples have vehement disagreements over who should have “custody” of the fish. Some are passionate about their reptiles like turtles, and snakes. As a result, several visiting plans have been created following these contentious talks. 

Friends

The division of friends can use a lot of energy. Almost as much as property division. There is a rush of unfriending on Facebook during the proceedings. There’s even a skirmish on who can attend the upcoming college reunion. Arguing over friends is trivial since it involves other people. People who have the ability and willingness to make their own decisions. Divorced spouses can occasionally argue for hours over this pointless matter.

Email addresses.

A family’s shared email account has a nice or simple user name. Ownership of the name becomes a little problematic when the pair separates. It can often take a lot of skill to resolve the challenges. One or both partners may want to keep the name on the account for their own usage while denying the other access. One partner opens a separate account. The refusal of the other to change the name on the primary account may result in a problem. Such a technical issue will cost extra time and money to resolve.

Skirmishes may seem rather inconsequential, especially to outsiders. It can sometimes be handled more sensibly than the main difficulties couples encounter. Difficulties such as child custody, parenting time, support, and the house. These skirmishes can impede the divorce process. Increasing costs and delaying the final divorce order.

 

What is worth fighting for in divorce?

Some couples negotiate the parameters of their settlement agreement before filing for divorce. These couples can have an amicable divorce. They submit the settlement agreement to the court. Your attorneys will seek to negotiate a divorce settlement agreement throughout the process. 

Your attorneys focused on what outcomes matter in a divorce. So should you.

These are the things you should be fighting for in your divorce case.

Your bond with your children.

We constantly remind clients against this. When they are drafting a divorce settlement agreement. They often say they don’t want a comprehensive parenting-time plan. They believe they can be reasonable and can work together. It does not always follow that you will always get along or that your divorce will be amicable. Even when there is a specific timetable, parenting-time disputes are very common.

You should have a thorough parenting schedule in place. Such efforts prevent problems in the future. This is in both your best interest and, more importantly, the best interest of the children. It is crucial to request this parenting time arrangement in a divorce settlement. Custody arrangements and parenting time should be in place. There won’t be a concern about fairness. Or who has the children on a specific holiday? You should also include a comprehensive holiday schedule in your agreement.

Your quality of life and your children.

To keep the quality of your life and your children, you need to have a viable financial position. The parties will exchange both alimony and child support. Your divorce settlement agreement should include explicit information outlining these clauses. Everyone must be aware of their responsibilities. You have to disclose your current salaries and the incomes determining support. Mention the amount of alimony paid each month, the date it is being paid, and how long it will be paid. Even a limited-term obligation should be mentioned in relation to alimony. Your settlement must also state reasons why alimony would end. It could be the passing of either partner or the remarriage of the spouse receiving support.

Your right to life and health.

Make sure to add a clause in your divorce settlement agreement about insurance. You need your spouse paying support to maintain life insurance. It should be in an amount enough to cover his or her responsibility prescribe in alimony.  The beneficiary of the policy should be the other spouse. If your spouse passes away after your divorce, this will safeguard your finances. It will guarantee that you will continue to receive money. An amount to assist in supporting the children and/or yourself.

Your personal resources and share of the marital assets.

If you’re like most families, the marital home might be the only major asset. After the divorce is finalized, the ex-spouses may opt to have the marital home sold. One of the parties may have since moved out. In a divorce settlement, information about the sale of the house will help the process. You can specify that it must be put on the market and remain there until it sells within 30 days of the divorce. Some people go even further and list the specific offers that are acceptable.

Make sure to include a complete list of the parties’ retirement assets. Give specifics on how to divide these assets or who will keep each item. Check the division of many retirement accounts, including 401(k)s and pensions. An appropriate domestic relations order (QDRO) is necessary. Include a clause stating who will be responsible for paying the completed QDRO. You can roll over your IRA distribution if you’re splitting one. You ought to give this a timeline for when this should happen.

 

What is the vision you shared with your attorney about your divorce?

Your vision should be how to finish your divorce in the most productive way. Embrace the reality you will not get everything in the most ideal circumstance. You can have a broad vision but you need to focus on the most essential first. The following should be part of your vision:

[ a ]  The distribution of your assets and the responsibilities for paying off your debts. Including how you’ll manage your family home.

[ b ]  How much, for how long, and if either of you will pay alimony or spousal support?

[ c ]  Child custody arrangements and child support obligations. A parenting schedule. Important if you and your partner share custody of minor or dependent children.

Before submitting a divorce petition, talk about and resolve your most important issues. The court will view your divorce as uncontested if you can resolve and agree on these issues.

Now link these essentials to other parts of your vision. Like your happiness. Your peace of mind. Or your personal growth.

While going through a divorce, there are several things you may do to protect yourself. Before anything else, it’s critical to comprehend your rights. What you’re entitled to. After that, armed with more information, you can decide on the conditions of your divorce.

It’s also essential to have realistic expectations. Be practical about how your divorce will play out. It’s doubtful that the divorce will turn out exactly the way you want. Focus your attention on your top priorities. In embracing the realities of what you can have, be willing to make concessions on everything else.

Why are you fighting over spoons and knives? There’s a battle bigger than your plate. Bigger even than the dining table or the dining room. You have a whole life ahead of you after divorce.

That should be worth fighting over.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

 

I Don’t Have a Lawyer for My Upcoming Court Date for Divorce in Michigan

I have a court date coming for my divorce. I don’t have a lawyer.  You are probably already in default. Engage a lawyer. If you don’t have any assets and don’t have any children. The result might not interest you. Maybe you don’t need a lawyer. If not, you must have an expert on your side.

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Law is the one area in which lawyers excel. You do not need to ask for favors if you have an attorney. Your attorney can aid you with the process. If you are in default, though, you will be asking for favors. In that circumstance, the court might not be able to assist you. Get legal representation if you have a court date coming up.

 

Do I really need a court date for a divorce?

You will need to go to court to have a judge settle those issues for you in a standard contested divorce. You will when you and your spouse are unable to overcome your disagreements. Disagreements involved in ending your marriage. 

Trials for divorce might last for several hours or even days. You’ll need to attend some court sessions on transitory matters. These matters can be temporary support requests to appoint child custody evaluators. Disagreements over financial disclosures and other evidence, even before the final trial.

When you file for an uncontested divorce, you might still need to show up in court for the final hearing. You have to submit a divorce settlement agreement and other papers to a court for approval. It is a must in some states and some counties in other states. If all goes according to plan, you’ll often get the divorce decree or judgment in the mail.

Even if you must appear in court to complete an uncontested divorce, the hearing will be quick. Court hearings typically take no longer than 15 minutes. The judge will just quiz you on a few points. These are queries to make sure you understand the terms of your signed divorce agreement. And that you meet the state’s divorce standards.

 

Do I need a lawyer in my divorce case?

An attorney will frequently explain the divorce process to a prospective client. It’s done during the initial meeting. They could provide the client with a broad picture of what to expect during the divorce. Without much more precise information, it is unlikely that the lawyer can act on the case.  They still have to determine what approaches they might use in the case. Or what the anticipated outcome would be. They have not had enough time to analyze the specifics.

Some people believe a brief consultation with a lawyer has given them all the knowledge they need to act. To act as their own counsel in a divorce. It simply isn’t true.

You can start the divorce process yourself. Michigan statutes allow you do so. You can file a divorce complaint with any of Michigan’s circuit courts. You pay the appropriate filing fees. The court issues summons and the parties must be properly served with the summons. Follow the required procedures prescribed by the Friend of the Court or FOC. This is important if your divorce case involves children. As mentioned before you have to file petitions for hearings. You must inform the parties about these hearings. Parties must respond to petitions and motions. Both parties will need to attend hearings.

You have to be familiar with all these processes.

Consider speaking with an attorney about your rights and options. If your spouse has filed for divorce you are the defendant in the divorce case. It is difficult to represent yourself in a divorce lawsuit.

Get a strong legal representation the more difficult the issues in your divorce are. Consider consulting a lawyer if

 [ a ]  You own property;

[ b ]  You have a retirement plan or account;

[ c ]  You have children while married. One spouse is a non-biological parent.

[ d ]  You must pay alimony (spousal support);

[ e ]  You experience physical, verbal, or emotional abuse;

[ f ]  Divorce is based on one or more significant points of disagreement.

Somebody must draft the judgment of divorce. The court enters judgment once all conditions are met. The court prepares a domestic relations order. The order will specify asset distribution as part of the divorce judgment. The court schedules the last hearing for the final divorce judgment.

It’s a quick rundown of what needs to be done in a divorce case. Each one has the potential to go sideways. 

People who “do it themselves” make blunders. Monumental mistakes that lead to protracted delays and case dismissals. You can end up making poor choices about support and custody. Or make decisions about property unfavorable to your case. It is in your best interests to have sound legal advice. Find a highly skilled family law attorney because a divorce case is so intricate.

If you do not have an attorney and your spouse has, it is more probable that your spouse will get better outcomes. It is also against the law in Michigan for one attorney to represent two parties in the same proceeding. You shouldn’t ever consider “sharing” a lawyer in a family court case with your spouse.

Divorce attorneys can help you in ways more than merely arguing your case in court. Lawyers can prepare you for mediation and provide you with behind-the-scenes guidance. You can hire a lawyer to prepare or check your settlement agreement.

Your attorney can assist you even with a contentious divorce. Your lawyers may be able to reach an agreement to avoid going to trial.

 

Are there alternatives to a court in the divorce process?

Your aim should be to prevent a trial if you are currently pursuing a divorce. In reality, divorce disputes are resolved outside of court in about 98% of cases. It is preferable to resolve your conflict out of court. It is a better option than resorting to litigation. In custody cases you have rights. Decisions on custody and parenting time should be agreed upon by both you and the other parent. Parenting time and custody agreements should be determined by the parents, not the legal system.

If you don’t want the inconvenience and stress of court proceedings, avoid a contested divorce. There are several strategies for avoiding a contested divorce trial. You and your spouse have the option of trying to settle your differences on your own. Or avail yourself of the “alternative dispute resolution” or ADR techniques. One that is particularly effective is mediation.

 

Negotiating the divorce agreement with your spouse.

You and your spouse can try to come to an understanding of all the divorce-related concerns. Communicate well and work together. Have a comprehensive view of your finances. Start by establishing a list of your assets and debts. It would be a good idea to do some preliminary study of the scope of a divorce agreement. Understand more about the subjects you’ll need to cover so you don’t forget anything.

Divorce problems typically involve the following:

[ a ]  How you’ll split up your assets and assign who will be in charge of paying off your obligations. Including how you’ll handle the family home.

[ b ]  If either of you will pay spousal support or alimony, how much and how long, and if so, how much?

[ c ]  Child support and your child custody plans. Including a parenting plan, if you share custody of minor or dependent children.

Discuss and settle the above matters before you file for divorce. if you can settle all these matters, the court will consider your divorce uncontested.

 

Using divorce mediation.

You can seek help from mediation if you and your spouse haven’t been able to come to a settlement on your own. In divorce mediation, a skilled, impartial specialist will work with you and your spouse. The specialist will pinpoint the problems and assist you in coming up with solutions.

Sessions tend to be informal. They frequently take place at the mediator’s office. Another increasingly popular option is online mediation. Attorneys may attend the sessions with the spouses, but it’s not necessary. In fact, having attorneys present could be ineffective. Especially if one of them is aggressive or combative.

The mediator will often create a written record. This written record contains agreements you and your spouse have made. You can use that as the foundation for the settlement agreement. The settlement agreement is the document you’ll present to the court.

Mediation has benefits and drawbacks. Mediation fees can vary but they are often less expensive than contested divorces. Contested divorces often need the engagement of attorneys by both parties. There are times when mediation is inappropriate. It may not be effective particularly when there is domestic abuse. It may not be appropriate for a divorce with a lot of conflicts, or a significant power imbalance.

 

Using collaborative divorce.

Another ADR method is collaborative divorce. Collaborative divorce is not structured the same as mediation. The aim of collaborative divorce is the same: to reach a settlement.

There is no mediator or other middleman in a collaborative divorce. Instead, the spouses take part in “four-way” meetings. The aim of these four-way meetings is to come to a consensus while each has an attorney. Lawyers that use collaborative law have specialized training in this field. States don’t allow attorneys to represent the spouses in the next court hearings. This is if the discussions fail. It helps to guarantee the attorneys stay focused on the settlement.

A “team” philosophy underpins collaborative law. To come to an agreement, all participants must cooperate. When child custody is a concern, both spouses must agree on the neutrality of any specialists. A specialist is often involved in the process. Specialists in the case could be accountants, property appraisers, and child psychologists.

Do feel more at ease having a lawyer during the settlement process? You are more likely to choose collaborative divorce than mediation. But keep in mind that if you can’t come to terms, you have to hire new lawyers and begin the legal divorce procedure. 

Remember this. A lawyer helping you in the mediation process cannot represent you in the next legal action. Your new attorneys will need to learn everything about the case from scratch. This could lead to a significant increase in your legal costs.

 

Using divorce arbitration.

Divorce arbitration is another ADR method. You may use divorce arbitration if you don’t think you can reach a resolution. You want someone other than a judge to make the decision. An arbitrator will evaluate your case and deliver a ruling. This is like how a court would do following a trial. It is unlike mediation and collaborative divorce which are more on settling your case.

In comparison to a court trial, arbitration has some advantages, such as:

[ a ]  The selection of an arbitrator is a decision both you and your spouse make. You cannot select the judge in court.

[ b ]  You may decide to relax the standard guidelines for evidence. You have an alternative other than having a witness testify in person. You can agree to have them submit a written statement that has been sworn to.

[ c ]  You can agree to set the dates, times, and length of your arbitration sessions. That luxury is not available in a regular court where contentious divorces can drag on for almost a year. You can spend hours each time you visit court just waiting for a judge to become available.

Divorce arbitration has significant disadvantages as well:

[ a ]  In most cases, you cannot challenge the arbitrator’s judgment. A court trial gives you the opportunity to appeal the judge’s ruling.

[ b ]  Arbitration can be expensive. Not only are you paying your lawyers’ fees, but you’re also paying the arbitrator as well.

[ c ]  Not all states may allow divorce arbitration. To learn if it is a choice where you live, speak with a local attorney.

There are several things you may do to safeguard yourself while going through a divorce. It is crucial to first understand your rights and what you are entitled to. You can then decide on the terms of your divorce with more knowledge.

Realistic expectations for how your divorce will turn out are also crucial. You are quite unlikely to get everything you desire from the divorce. Try to concentrate on what is most important to you. On everything else, be ready to make compromises.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

 

Worried That You’ll Need to Pay Ex Thousands in Alimony in Michigan

Are you worried that you will need to pay your ex $1000s in alimony? You should worry. After you’ve already accepted that divorce is inevitable. The need for alimony should be apparent. Unexpected costs result from this. Alimony can affect your future financial security. 

There is a process for determining alimony. With a longer marriage, alimony is more likely to be discussed. The length of the marriage is one element taken into account. The spouses’ different levels of income. The availability of disposable income is the next item on the list. Every case will be distinct.

Click here to watch the video on Worried That You’ll Need to Pay Ex Thousands in Alimony in Michigan.

You or your spouse may be considering seeking a divorce. You probably want to know how to reduce your financial burdens if divorce happens. If one spouse shows a financial need and the other spouse has the means, Michigan allows the spouse in need to get spousal support.

 

What is alimony?

Spousal support is a payment made by one ex-spouse to the other during or after a divorce. It is more popularly known as alimony. Spousal support ensures that each spouse can satisfy their financial obligations. These are obligations both during and after your divorce case. The level, frequency, and length of support vary depending on your particular situation. You and your spouse can agree on a spousal support amount and duration. It is so like any other matter in a divorce. The court will uphold that decision if neither party is treated unfairly.

Spousal support can take many different forms, some of which are less and less common options:

Temporary spousal support.

At times one spouse cannot support herself while a divorce is pending. The court has the power to order temporary spousal support. Any party may request this type of support, but the court will only order it if it is deemed necessary. This form of support can also be referred to as the “status quo.” For instance, your spouse would keep paying the rent and utilities for your home if they have done so in the past. If there is a significant disparity in income between the spouses, the judge may order status quo plus an additional sum.

Periodic spousal support.

The most common kind of alimony in Michigan is periodic spousal support. This can be mandated by the court for either a brief or a protracted period of time. This happens when a judge decides that a spouse has the capacity to become independent. Independence is anticipated even if gradually. For instance, one partner quits their employment focusing entirely on raising the children. They can be eligible for short-term or rehabilitative support. They would receive help up until they secured gainful employment.

Permanent spousal support.

One form of alimony that is less frequently used is Permanent Spousal Support. The court can order this when one partner cannot provide for themselves. It can be due to advanced age, poor health, or a handicap. An elderly couple filing for divorce can have this kind of support in their agreement.

Lump Sum Spousal Support

One of the least preferred forms of alimony is the lump sum option for spousal support. Usually, a property order is issued in this situation such as a house. A judge would typically only permit such a situation if the spouse who was being asked to pay could afford it. The benefit of this support is the absence of weekly or biweekly obligations.

 

How does the court determine spousal support?

In Michigan, there is no formula that judges must follow in granting spousal support. No predetermine formula when determining the quantity and length of spousal support. Judges must take into account certain considerations. 

The Michigan Court of Appeals outlined certain elements used in determining spousal support. There are elements taken into account while deciding on a spousal support award in the case of McLain v. McLain. These elements are:

How each spouse behaved throughout the marriage. 

The judge will consider the behavior of the parties. Who was to blame for the marriage’s dissolution? Blame by itself does not support a spousal support award.

How long the marriage has been? 

The judge is more likely to grant spousal support the longer the marriage has lasted. This is crucial if one partner lacks a career or the necessary employment skills.

Whether the parties can find gainful employment.  

A person might be unable to work. A spouse unlikely to get employment is more likely to get spousal support from the court. A person may receive temporary spousal support. The court can grant this to allow them to finish their education or get new skills.

Share of the parties in property distribution and how liquid is the property.

Judges take the kind and quantity of property received during distribution into account.  It helps in weighing which party needs spousal maintenance. Normal living expenditures are not typically covered by a property settlement. One party might be receiving most of the non-cash assets. The judge can decide to grant spousal support to that person.

The parties’ ages. 

It is more likely for an older person who has not worked during the marriage to need spousal support. If the other spouse is retired and on a fixed income, that could work against the court’s decision to grant spousal support. It is particularly so if the recipient of the support is under retirement age.

Capability for providing spousal support. 

The earning potential of the paying spouse will be weighed by the court. It will be weighed against the other spouse’s capacity for self-support.

The parties’ present living conditions. 

The judge will take into account factors including the earning potential and future prospects of each spouse.

Each party’s needs.

The judge will look into each party’s needs. This will influence spousal support. Or whether they are able to provide support for their needs.

Each party’s state of health.

A party’s health might interfere with their ability to work. It determines the capacity to take care of personal requirements. Health becomes an important consideration.

The parties’ previous standards of living. 

The court considers the standard of living of both parties during the marriage. A person has the right to maintain the same standard of living they had before the marriage. The judge may use spousal support to balance things out. Divorce can force one spouse to maintain the marriage standard of life while the other does not.

Whether each party has other parties to support.

The judge will take into account how each spouse’s obligation to provide for others. This can impact things like their capacity for employment. Or even their capacity to make support payments.

Contribution of each party in the marital estate.

What each partner brought to the marriage will be taken into account by the judge. This goes beyond simply providing financial support. The judge might view both couples’ efforts as equal. The other spouse might have helped with child-rearing.

Whether one or both parties are cohabiting.

A party’s living arrangements. The impact on their financial situation will be taken into account by the judge.

Fairness.

The judge will take what is just and reasonable when granting spousal support.

The judge issues a special order called the Uniform Spousal Support Order or USSO. This is the official court order granting spousal support. The conditions of the spousal support award are in the USSO. This covers the amount of payment, the duration, and the method of payment.

 

What are the consequences if you don’t pay spousal support?

The Friend of the Court (FOC) in Michigan keeps track of alimony and child support payments. The court will typically issue income withholding orders to the paying spouse’s job. This comes with the divorce’s final decree. An income withholding order specifies the amount, frequency, and length of the award. It also specifies the identities of each spouse and the paying spouse’s employer.

Employer payroll must follow the order. The order ensures relevant amounts are withheld from the paying spouse’s paycheck. It becomes effective after the employer receives the income withholding order. The arrangement ensures money is transferred to the receiving spouse immediately.

Support orders are court orders, thus you must abide by them or face consequences. The recipient may file a motion for contempt with the FOC. The motion is a request for help in the event that the paying spouse ceases making payments. 

The paying spouse may be required to appear before the judge to explain non-payment. The FOC determines a party is in violation of the order and sets a hearing. In Michigan, sanctions for contempt include revocation of a driver’s or professional license. FOC can also impose a suspension of passport services. It can execute wage and bank account garnishments. Your local FOC can recommend tax refund interception, and jail terms.

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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.

 

Are You in an Abusive Relationship and Thinking About a Divorce in Michigan

Statistics about divorces are frequently mentioned. People who should have divorced. People who could have divorced but didn’t make the decision to do so make up the numbers we don’t hear about. Are you in an abusive relationship and thinking about a divorce? Some people continue to be in a relationship despite the presence of abuse. They stay in a long-failed marriage without divorcing. No statistics exist for such kind of broken relationships.

Click here to watch the video Are You in an Abusive Relationship and Thinking About a Divorce in Michigan?

Do you currently have a spouse who physically and/or verbally abuses you? Do you frequently deal with domestic abuse or substance abuse? Save the marriage if you both feel strongly about each other. Work on your marriage if you value the other person. Take yourself out of the marriage if you don’t want to spend the next few years in an abusive relationship.

 

What is an abusive relationship?

The legal system and the courts in Michigan may have a different perspective of abuse from you. The correct phrase to use here is domestic abuse. What you’re experiencing right now might be classified as emotional and economic abuse. Most of the time, at least.

You may be a victim of abuse already. If you or someone you know has their freedom curtailed or is afraid of their partner. We wrote about abusive relationships before in our article, “Should I Get a Divorce If I’m in an Abusive Relationship in Michigan?” 

Abusive spouses or partners use different techniques to exert control over their relationships. We have listed a few below from the article we mentioned above. 

Physical Abuse

[ a ]  Pushed, kicked, or shoved

[ b ]  Smacked or bitten

[ c ]  Strangled

[ d ]  A blow or punch

[ e ]  Home locked you out

[ f ]  Refused assistance while unwell, hurt, or pregnant

[ g ]  Use of a weapon against you

[ h ]  Being physically restrained and prevented from leaving

[ i ]  Things being thrown at you

[ j ]  Abandoned in a perilous circumstance

Economic Abuse

[ a ]  Denied use of credit cards, bank accounts, or vehicles

[ b ]  The financial decisions are made jointly.

[ c ]  Prevented from obtaining or maintaining employment, or from attending education

[ d]  Restricts your ability to obtain dental, pharmaceutical, or health insurance

Sexual Abuse

[ a ]  Forced to engage in or witness sexual activity

[ b ]  Being forced into sexual activity or having sexual activity performed on you

[ c ]  Forced to wear more provocative clothing than you’d like

[ d ]  Forced to engage in sexual activity following a physical assault, when ill, or as a requirement of the relationship

Psychological & Emotional Abuse

[ a ]  A threat to hurt you, your loved ones, or your pets

[ b ]  Religion, sexual orientation, color, ethnicity, or beliefs are mocked

[ c ]  Manipulated with falsehoods and inconsistencies

[ d ]  Made to believe that you are responsible for the abuse

[ e ]  Stalked

Let’s talk about this widespread subject of emotional abuse. It is frequently brought up during divorce discussions. Emotional abuse. Do you understand what you’re talking about?

The three most typical types of emotional abuse are projection, retribution, and gaslighting. All these forms of emotional abuse are easily concealable.

The abuser can avoid responsibility by denying reality. Questioning your sanity, or speaking lies.

Gaslighting is an intentional tactic used by abusers. It is shifting responsibility from themselves to the victim. It is very manipulative. And may have a detrimental psychological impact on the victim.

Normal people prefer to own up to their mistakes. Normal people genuinely work to reestablish happy relationships. In a relationship when there is emotional abuse, the abuser won’t accept accountability. They don’t take responsibility for their harmful reactions and intentional actions. They won’t change their behavior. They want to exercise control, not find constructive solutions to problems.

Although retribution can take many various forms, punishment is always at its core. It is a method of manipulation and persuasion. A harmful overshoot of what initially appears to be a boundary. Retribution happens when someone threatens to harm you. They do it if you do something they don’t like. You will suffer bodily or emotional harm at the hands of your abuser.  

It might entail punishing a victim for defying the abuser’s commands. In an emotionally abusive relationship, retribution can be used to silence victims. Abusers keep you from seeing loved ones or pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do.

An abuser engages in projection when they cast their unfavorable behavior onto another person.

 

Do you want to end the relationship, the marriage?

You might feel the impulse to find someone with whom to discuss how you feel about your relationship. You desire pain relief. You believe divorcing will fix it. Perhaps the closest you can come to having someone listen to you is discussing divorce. Discussing it with someone like an attorney.

It is a personal choice to seek divorce due to an abusive relationship. Abuse may be viewed differently by the courts. The courts and your lawyer can help you comprehend the law and the process. But, choosing to get a divorce is a decision that should be made before seeing a lawyer. 

Don’t consider divorcing while you’re at your lowest. First, look at the reality of how you’re feeling right now. Find clarity.

You hooked up for a purpose. This person you call your spouse must have been wonderful for a while back then. When you two first started this thing called marriage, you two seemed to connect. Maybe you’re both worn out.

It all started when you had children. A child is a natural thing to have. But child-rearing requires hard labor because they need care and attention. It may be draining. Remove your weary and resentful thoughts before looking at your partner. For a time, be silent. You still adore that person.

In your marriage, there is still love and respect. You two are willing to hang out together. Both of you have respect. There is still an open line of communication between you and your spouse.

Do you find it hard to see your life without your partner? With you, no one else can feel that level of comfort. Perhaps your problems don’t genuinely stem from your relationship. The problems have nothing to do with your marriage or your relationship.

Do you still hold marriage in high respect in your quiet moments? Do you think there is a total commitment? Maybe you’re doubting your judgment.

Do you still want to make improvements to your marriage? Do you still want it despite all the pain and difficulties? 

Divorce may be a preferable choice if the majority of the questions listed above have no for an answer.

Now, do you have clarity?

 

How do you prepare for divorce?

You now have a clear understanding of what you want your divorce to look like. You must now get ready to collaborate with your lawyer. You must set the tone for how your divorce will be handled. Have a vision of the results you desire, but you must also be ready for the process.

Be careful how you act and behave, especially around your family.

You don’t know how people who are close to you will feel. It’s hard to guess how they will feel once they learn about your decision to get divorced. Or how they will respond to you. You will be making decisions both before and after filing for divorce. Think about moving forward with considerable care. Being mindful of your actions is essential. Anything that can be construed as disrespectful behavior can be used against you in court. This is extremely important if child custody is an issue in your case.

Refrain from seeking a new relationship. Think about spending productive time with friends and quality time with family. Keep it up until the divorce is final. Take care of your physical and mental needs while being close to home. Being prepared can help the tough process go more easily. It will be good for everyone involved, even if divorce is never going to be easy. Staying connected to the outside world will benefit you.

Find an attorney and discuss your vision.

If you and your spouse can settle your disputes amicably, it’s easier and less expensive. If that isn’t possible, be sure you have an attorney who can take your case to court and is willing to do so. You want a lawyer who recognizes the benefits of settling quickly. You need an attorney who is also willing to defend you if required. Get an attorney who shares your perspective on life. Your expectations for your marriage following divorce.

Your divorce attorney will explain the Michigan divorce process to you. Your attorney will talk about some items you will need to prepare for this process.

Take stock of your personal and marital finances.

Get a thorough understanding of both your and your spouse’s financial circumstances. One of the primary goals of the divorce procedure is to divide the couple’s assets and debts equally. Get your fair share during divorce settlement negotiations. It’s imperative to have a complete awareness of your finances.

First, determine what you have. Some marital items are easily identifiable. Your home, any financial accounts, and your vehicle are assets. They should be equally shared. Other less evident assets may include inheritances. This includes marital property acquired during the union and works of art if any.

Check the status of your credit.

Purchasing a home or car after a divorce may be difficult. You may have shared credit with your spouse for many years. It’s critical to build your own and improve your credit score as a result. Consider establishing credit in your name before filing for divorce.  A quick and simple approach to do this is to apply for a credit card in your name only.

Examine your shared funds and assets to protect your share.

It’s not uncommon for a spouse to steal money from accounts when they learn that a divorce is about to happen. When there is a contested divorce, it may be done under the advice of an attorney or done in an episode of wrath. Regardless of the circumstance, you should take precautions to protect yourself. Make sure your spouse cannot access any joint accounts you may have. You can protect yourself by opening accounts in your name only. Withdrawing only half the money from the joint accounts. Transferring only half into your new accounts.

While it’s not necessary to keep it a secret, you should still be careful with how you use the money. Keep careful and detailed records of every dollar you spend using the new account. You may have to defend your actions in court or during settlement negotiations.

You have the option to freeze accounts if you have savings or money market accounts. Or any other types of investment accounts. This should lower concerns about your spouse tampering with them. Before doing anything with joint financial accounts, you should seek legal advice.

Close and settle any joint credit cards.

Before getting divorced, if at all possible, pay off and close all joint credit accounts. You can stop your spouse from using the account. You won’t be racking up expenses you might later be held accountable for by canceling it. Cancel them before the divorce process gets underway.

If you are unable to settle the obligations in full or pay them off, you should have the accounts frozen. This will ultimately keep you safe even though you won’t be able to use the account.

Inform all your creditors of your divorce by contacting them. You have to continue receiving bills from all joint accounts. Make sure you inform creditors of any changes in your mailing address.

Ensure that you have paid all credit card bills. A single late payment can ruin your credit, even though the divorce procedure can take months. Keep paying. Even minimum payments on the accounts that you know your spouse will ultimately be in charge of. It will prove to be worthwhile later.

Organize your tax information and supporting paperwork.

Before you may apply for divorce, you must provide evidence of both your income and that of your spouse. For salaried employees, you will need a copy of your most recent income tax return as well as your pay stubs.

Calculating your income can be a little more difficult if you or your spouse are self-employed. Have copies of the business’s financial records and bank account records. This will provide you with a clear picture of the income in this circumstance. Making copies of these statements is a smart idea. Have it before submitting a divorce petition. Gather all the information you can, even if it’s just an estimate of your spouse’s actual income. Your attorney will be able to help you with the remaining facts.

Consider the possibilities of remaining in or leaving your marital home.

Living in an abusive environment? It’s usually in your best interest to wait to leave your home until the divorce proceedings are over. Even if you might be prepared to live away from your spouse, there are a few reasons to stay.

The first thing is that leaving the house may make you less interested in it. When determining how to divide the property, a judge may take into account the fact that you moved out. More so while the divorce was pending and your husband continued to pay the mortgage. If things get too challenging and you feel the need to move, keep paying a part of the mortgage. Make sure to record each mortgage payment you make, though.

Your school-age children need stability. You may want to be able to continue in your family home until they complete their schooling. The last thing you want to do is abandon the home in this phase in your life. Your spouse’s salary might be larger than yours. You may desire to have your spouse pay the mortgage in full or in part after you separate. You might not be able to negotiate to keep the house once you leave.

In essence, leaving the house can be bad for your situation. Don’t do so without first consulting your lawyer. A judge in some jurisdictions might consider your lawyer’s action. Particularly for temporary possession of the marital home pending divorce court. You can discuss this decision for temporary possession with your lawyer.

You must take whatever precautions are required to protect yourself. Especially if there is domestic abuse. You might be unable to secure an order of temporary possession. Leave the house if you believe your safety is in jeopardy. If there was a history of domestic violence, speak with your attorney. Your attorney may be able to lawfully remove your spouse from your home.

Be prepared for your future living expenses.

You decide how much money you’ll need to survive following your divorce. It’s time to estimate your future living costs. Divorce is an enormous life change, your income might significantly decline. Creating your post-divorce budget is the fun part. Making a budget now is better than waiting. You might find yourself suddenly saddled with debt.

Like you would with any budget, you may start by estimating your spending. This gives you an idea of how much money you would need to support yourself. It will help you negotiate the terms of your divorce settlement. Understanding your financial needs will enable you to check your settlement options. Decide what you might ask for in court.

Now think about your abusive relationship again. Are you still thinking of divorce?

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Splitting the Assets, Are You Getting Your Fair Share?

Splitting the assets. Are you getting your fair share of the marital assets? The general rule in Michigan is to split marital assets fairly or equally. The goal is to be fair, thus it will be equitable and occasionally equal.

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What is fair might not always be equal. A bank account may have had $30K before the marriage and now has $50K. The $20K will be considered a marital asset by the court, and it will be divided evenly, giving each spouse $10K. For assets like a house or a business, it would be different. Before the court can decide how to divide the assets, you must obtain their fair market value. Experts may be required to determine their fair value so that the court can divide it fairly.

 

What are marital property and separate property?

Marital property includes all possessions obtained during the marriage. The property can be material or intangible. Here are a few examples of what is typically treated as marital property under Michigan law: 

[ a ]  The home the couple bought after their wedding. 

[ b ]  The income the wife received while working as a hotel cashier during the marriage. 

[ c ]  The husband’s pension plan.

Assets acquired before the marriage are separate assets or separate property. Gifts or inheritances received during the marriage may be considered the separate property of the spouse.  The spouse who bought the asset received the gift or inheritance.

An inheritance received by one spouse while still married is a separate property. If one spouse wins a personal injury case and receives damages for pain and suffering, the damages are often viewed as separate property.

Sometimes a separate property may become marital property or overlap with it. There’s enough jurisprudence to explain how this happens. Here’s one way it can happen. You used the separate property for the family’s benefit. Or, you combined the asset with marital property.

A spouse can be entitled to a share of the other’s separate property. This can happen if the spouse contributed to the acquisition of the property. It can also happen if the spouse has contributed to its accumulation or improvement.

 

What can be part of the split?

In a divorce, the assets of the marriage are divided. The majority of your possessions—or those of your spouse—were acquired throughout your marriage. It doesn’t matter whose name is on a title or deed if one exists. Unless it was a gift or inheritance, it is still considered marital property. Anything that is marital property belongs to both of you. 

Let’s talk about two categories of marital property: retirement plans and marital homes.

Your marital home.

Your marital home is the place where you and your spouse resided while married. Who can afford to keep the house? Discuss this between you and your spouse. Usually, the spouse who owns the marital house becomes responsible for its expenses. Expenses refer to maintenance, property taxes, and mortgage payments. Only one of you might be able to afford these expenses. It makes sense for that person to continue living in the house. When neither party can afford the house on their own, the only option is to sell it and split the proceeds.

You and your spouse might be able to reach an understanding of what should happen to the house. If you are unable to come to a consensus, a mediator or attorney may be necessary.

One of two things could happen if your divorce case gets to trial. The judge chooses how to distribute your property. The judge may order you to sell the home or grant it to one of you. You and your spouse will split any proceeds from the sale if the judge authorizes one. If you owe more than the house is worth, the debt will be split between you.

Before a divorce is official, it’s customary for one spouse to leave the marital home. Sometimes people believe that when they move out, their property rights are forfeited. That is untrue. A spouse who vacates the marital home retains a property interest in it.

Your retirement plan or your pension.

A pension or retirement plan acquired during a marriage is marital property. In the event of divorce, the non-employee spouse is entitled to a portion of their spouse’s pension or retirement plan. Parties can agree to preserve their respective pensions or retirement plans. They can choose not to divide them. Giving the non-employee spouse more assets is an option. The asset should be half of the retirement benefit accumulated during their marriage.

There are divorce cases considered high-asset divorce. One partner in the marriage may not have the same financial standing as their spouse. A high-asset divorce typically happens. Factors, including inheritance, investments, businesses, and more, may be responsible for this. The process of requesting a divorce entails the discovery of these assets.

Who should receive what property? What is a fair distribution of property? These are the highlights of these divorce cases. Many high-net-worth individuals spend their entire lives accumulating wealth. With the significant amount of cash amassed during the marriage, filing for divorce may not be simple. Real property, personal property, bank accounts and other financial assets, assets from small businesses, and retirement funds are common in these kinds of divorce cases.

Your debts are included in the division.

The process of equitable distribution includes dividing debt. Prior-to-marriage debts incurred by one spouse are regarded as separate debts. An example is a student loan. They are still that spouse’s obligation. Normal household debts incurred during the marriage are viewed as joint obligations. Both spouses will be responsible for repayment. Consider your home mortgage, car loan, credit card debt, and health care costs. 

Any debt attached to a specific asset would typically be borne by the spouse who obtains that asset. It eventually becomes part of the divorce settlement. An example is a mortgage on the marital home if one spouse receives sole ownership of that home. A judge will determine how to divide marital debt fairly like they do with the property.

A judge has the authority to rule a debt incurred during the marriage is not a shared responsibility. One of the partners, for instance, racked up debt from gambling during the union. Or a partner racked up credit card debt related to an adulterous romance. The court may decide the spouse incurring the debt is exclusively accountable for its repayment.

Remember that your divorce judgment is not binding on your creditors. You are still responsible in the eyes of the credit card company. You are even if your spouse is meant to be paying off a shared credit card but fails to do so. You can ask the court to order your ex-spouse to abide by the terms of the divorce. But, if you don’t step up and make the payments in the interim, your credit score may suffer.

 

How do courts decide what should be included in property division?

Michigan does not recognize community property. Michigan divides marital property according to the “equitable distribution” principle. Asset distribution in states with community property is intended to be as equal or close to a 50/50 split as practicable. Equitable distribution refers to an approach in the division of property. It is based on an evaluation of what is just in each situation.

In states with community property laws, the court must divide the marital estate equally.  Judges in states with equitable distribution have the discretion to stray from a 50/50 split. The courts typically divide assets fairly and sometimes equally. Even though Michigan is an equitable distribution state.

The courts consider various factors when dividing marital property, such as:

[ 1 ]  The origin of the asset;

[ 2 ]  The duration of the marriage;

[ 3 ]  The needs of the children and the parties;

[ 4 ]  The parties’ financial resources;

[ 5 ]  Support with acquiring it;

[ 6 ]  The reasons for the divorce

[ 7 ]  Common principles of equity; and

[ 8 ]  Any additional factors the court finds important.

High-value divorces or divorce cases with spouses having high net worth can be a bit complicated. We have to determine the value of the asset first before we can divide them. Certain properties are harder to value than others.

Some types of property will be harder to value than other types of property. This is true in divorces involving high net worth or business assets. The parties may have to collaborate with property appraisers. Or to take extra measures to come up with a fair valuation.

Property is not always easily categorized as separate or marital property. It might be challenging for the court. More so in determining which part of the property is in the marital estate and which is separate.  Especially when separate and marital assets are combined in some way. In a practice known as commingling.

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Who Gets to Stay in a House During the Divorce Process in Michigan?

Who gets to stay in a house during the divorce process?  In Michigan, the court will not let either spouse waste marital estate. It forbids the parties from supporting two different dwellings. Two separate dwellings mean paying for two separate living expenses. You won’t like the court’s logic in this. You two are going to stay together in the house, which will be uncomfortable.

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You will need to be adults and stay. Unless there is an extremely bad reason to do otherwise. You will remain together in the same house. Well at least until the court renders its decision or while the divorce is being processed. Obviously, if domestic violence exists in the house, the situation is different. The court will consider any potential threats to you, the children, or both. To safeguard you and the kids, the court has the authority to order one spouse to leave.

 

Who gets to stay? Who gets kicked out?

It is typical for the title to include the names of both spouses. There will be equal rights for the spouses in those circumstances. During the divorce, one or both spouses may continue to reside in the marital home.

But occasionally, only one spouse’s name will appear on the title. You could assume that this inevitably results in one spouse getting to stay in the house. While the other is forced to leave. That isn’t always the case.

Any property acquired during the marriage is regarded as jointly owned. It is most common in states where community property is the law regardless of who is listed on the title. The spouse’s contribution during the marriage provides an interest in the property.  This is true in states with equitable distribution. It is not necessarily important what is written in the title.

When going through a divorce, spouses typically do not want to live together in the same house. It doesn’t make sense for them to live together at this moment because they aren’t typically on the best of terms. No matter who is listed on the title, it might be a good idea to leave in some circumstances.

 

Who gets to stay in the marital home?

Michigan law does not need a married couple to live apart in separate homes before the divorce. This is in contrast to other states. This results in the parties continuing to live together before the divorce judgment. It happens frequently until their assets are distributed.

Staying will help to create greater stability if you keep your kids in the same home. It’s also an opportunity to have the property appraised and inspected before selling.

Financially, being together in the same house allows both partners to set aside some cash. And prepare a budget for their future independent living arrangements.

This is the house you and your husband shared while married. Your spouse might want you to move. There may be times when you feel as though your spouse is attempting to evict you from the home. Or your spouse has taken formal action to do so already. 

The law guarantees both spouses’ right to continue living in the marital home. Both of you can stay up until a judge makes a different decision because the marital house is your legal abode.

It is illegal to “kick out” a spouse. You’re not supposed to be doing things like removing their belongings. You should not be changing the locks on the house’s doors. If you act in this way, your husband can contact police enforcement to reclaim the keys to the house.

 

Who gets to leave the marital home?

There are a few circumstances in which your spouse can compel you to leave in an ongoing divorce case. 

There may be ways to remove your spouse from the home while your divorce is in progress. It is possible via Michigan law regulations, but the requirements are stringent.

You can ask the court to issue an order of exclusive occupancy. This allows just one spouse to live in the marital home while the divorce is pending.

Only two situations allow a Michigan court to issue this judicial order:

[ a ]  When one partner has moved out of the marital home and into a new place.

[ b ]  When domestic abuse or violence is a problem

This kind of order can bar the other spouse from entering or using the property at any time. It gives the resident spouse a sense of normalcy and privacy. 

A Personal Protection Order or PPO can also be used. This will prevent the spouse subject to the order from entering the marital home.

 

How does the court decide who gets to stay?

The person whose name is on the deed does not necessarily get the home. Keep in mind that Michigan handles assets equitably. There are a couple of solutions available though before it even enters the court. Either of you must choose whether to sell the home and divide the money or to keep it.

The simplest and least expensive alternative is for both of you to decide jointly. Deciding before filing for the divorce settlement. Any other method can be costly.

The next step is to have someone mediate the negotiations. You or both of you may not feel comfortable resolving this issue together. The mediator would list the various assets. And then assist you in selecting a reasonable course of action.

If you can’t come to a joint or unanimous decision, the court can make it for you. The court will make such a decision based on certain factors:

[ a ]  Your age.

[ b ]  Prevailing health concerns.

[ c ]  Length of marriage with your spouse.

[ d ]  Your children.

[ e ]  The house is separate or marital property.

[ f ]   Investment in the house.

[ g ]  The fault of a spouse.

The most crucial aspect to take into account while selecting who gets the house is your children.

The children could do best if one parent stays in the house with them. This would help them feel normal and stable during this difficult period.

If a lawsuit is filed, the Child Custody Act will be used to make the decision. The best interests of your children are supported by this statute. It considers their mental, physical, and emotional health.

 

What happens to the marital home in a divorce?

The determination of the financial value of a home is a technical issue. Your attorney can help you with that. There is more to a marital home than its financial value. Before deciding what to do with the marital home reflect on what the home means to you. Are memories about the home worth holding on to? The negative memories might cancel out the positive ones. 

You might also want to take into account your support network. If you leave you may lose them. You had a spouse who could pick up the kids from daycare or school while you were married. After the divorce, you will be alone. Will you have friends or family in the neighborhood you are moving into? Will the new neighborhood aid you after your divorce? Should you relocate near your family instead?

Think about whether you have the financial means to remain in the home. Do this after determining its emotional value. 

After the divorce, a lot of things will change. The total cost of living may increase by twofold: two homes; two sets of utilities; two sets of clothes for the kids.

Your available funds could fluctuate. With more time spent with your kids, you might not be able to put in the same number of hours or extra. If you receive spousal support, it can be temporary or only last for a short period of time. You might even be required to pay child support and/or spousal support.

Calculate the home’s equity. You must give your spouse a fair portion of the equity built up throughout the marriage. More so if you wish to continue living there after the divorce. To get at an equitable division, you might have to restructure the mortgage. You have the option to give your spouse a bigger share of other assets.

The question of whether you will be able to refinance the mortgage is another concern. Your spouse might wish to have his or her name taken off the mortgage. You may do so if you want to stay in the house so they can apply for another mortgage if they decide to buy a house. You may have to speak to a mortgage provider if you want to refinance your home. In doing so pay off your spouse’s share in the equity.

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Spouse Threatening With Inappropriate Pictures and/or Videos of You

Blackmail.  Spouse is threatening you with inappropriate pictures and/or videos. Unless you act now, the children will see the photographs. Your ex-spouse will show the kids your inappropriate images if you don’t give in. Those offensive photos or videos are being held over your head by your ex. Those inappropriate images are acting as a lever. 

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If you give in to the blackmail, your ex will have complete influence over you going forward. The other parent will get the better of you. The best course of action is to speak with your lawyer. Your attorney will present your predicament in court. The other party can be made to testify about the blackmail. The likelihood that the opposing party won’t be able to explain it is very high.

 

What is blackmail in a divorce case?

The Michigan Penal Code classifies blackmail as a particular form of extortion. Extortion is when someone makes threatens to do harm. The parties committing extortion to target you, your loved ones, or your property. Threats they make good unless you give them what they want. Blackmailers threaten to reveal humiliating or damaging information about you. They do so unless you agree to their demands. 

Accessibility and portability of the internet and mobile phones have made blackmailing easy. People can’t help taking pictures or videos of their private and intimate moments.  Those intimate moments can become public anytime through your mobile phone. Law enforcement is starting to deal with cases called revenge porn.

Many people mistake extortion for blackmail, as Michigan extortion attorneys are aware. Particularly considering that they both entail the use of threats to compel someone. They force people to make a payment, render a favor, or perform an action. Threats of the revelation of humiliating or incriminating material are used in blackmail. Extortion frequently entails the threat of harm, injury, or property destruction. Extortion entails threats of physical violence rather than merely threats of embarrassment.

The sharing of sexually explicit content is now simpler than ever. Thanks to the growth of mobile internet access, camera phones, and social media. Some people publish naked or pornographic images or videos of themselves. They give it to intimate partners or enable others to do so.

But problems could arise in numerous ways. Intimate connections end. Or explicit pictures or films get into the wrong hands. Blackmail aims to punish, coerce, or silence the subject. Those in possession of sexually explicit footage can do that. They can distribute the photographs or films without the victim’s consent. The frequency of reports of this behavior to law enforcement is increasing. They call it “revenge porn.” This form of blackmail can be used against you.

In divorce, blackmail is used for unfair leverage. Maybe to get a better custody arrangement. It can be a larger share in the distribution of assets. You may think this is just a tactic for negotiation. Talk to your attorney. You are about to find out the thin line between legitimate negotiation and criminal intent.

 

Can I use embarrassing or criminal information about my spouse in divorce negotiations?

An attorney in a breach-of-contract case accuses the other party of a separate crime. The attorney threatens to report the theft to the police. The attorney is going to do it if the other party rejects the attorney’s settlement demand. The attorney may be guilty of extortion. If there are shreds of evidence like pictures or images of the crime this can be blackmail.

Lawyers frequently use settlement demands as a way to settle matters. An approach used without incurring the time and expense of protracted litigation. The phrasing of a settlement demand may occasionally cross the line. A straightforward bargaining tactic may turn out to be unlawful extortion. This is especially true when a threat of legal action is included in the settlement demand.

The discussion of the other party’s criminal activity may be essential. It may be to the settlement talks in a divorce. It would be challenging for a lawyer to represent the victim of a sexual assault. The attorney may need to disclose the case’s facts in a settlement demand. The attorney might insinuate that the defendant had engaged in unlawful sexual activity.

Attorneys must proceed with caution when submitting a settlement demand. More so if it includes a charge of criminal behavior. The reference must be made in good faith and with honesty. It must be framed with a reasonable belief that it is relevant and necessary for the settlement. 

Insinuations about extortion and blackmail have highly subjective thresholds. Lawyers might want to reconsider their settlement demands in close-call circumstances. 

 

What to do if you are being blackmailed by your ex-spouse?

Try to maintain your composure first. It’s critical to keep in mind that blackmailers rely on your fear. They rely on your belief that you have no other choice but to follow their demands. Defy the desire to give in. Here are some more options for you:

Consult a lawyer. 

This is crucial if your blackmailer has threatened to reveal information about you. Incriminating information compromising you with authorities or embarrassing you in the media. A lawyer can help you avoid self-incrimination by giving you advice on what to say and what not to say. Your attorney can disarm them by bringing them to court. Let the other party do the explaining to the judge.

Report the crime. 

Nowadays, blackmail is now committed online. Allow authorities to investigate and attempt to apprehend the blackmailer.  Do it before they cause harm to anybody else. It is important that you notify them if you have been the victim of blackmail.

Secure your online accounts. 

On all of your accounts, change the passwords and security preferences (email, social media, bank, etc.). Make it harder for the blackmailer to find out more about you. Or get access to your accounts in the future.

Gather evidence.

Try to gather proof of the blackmail if you can. Keep emails, text messages, and recordings of phone calls. If the matter goes to court, the evidence will be useful to the prosecution as well as the police in their inquiry.

See a therapist.

If necessary, speak with a therapist or counselor. Being blackmailed may be an extremely terrible event. Discuss it with someone who can support your healing process. Help you process your emotions.

Enlist support.

Enlist the aid of a family member or acquaintance you can trust. This person may be able to offer moral support during this trying period.

Blackmail requires proof that the crime was committed. To investigate the case, local law enforcement will first need to gather proof. Only then can they get involved. 

A blackmailer must have evidence against you. And demand something in return for silence. Usually, this entails paying thousands of dollars to keep a secret. This secret is something that is unlawful. It could cause disgrace or humiliation. Law enforcement will look into the situation. They can file charges if the victim can prove that the blackmailer committed the crime.

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What Is Custodial Interference in Michigan?

When one party is given custody and the other is not, it does not imply that matters are resolved. The parent who has primary custody may interfere. What is custodial interference?

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The custodial parent has discretion on many things. Including altering the timetable of activities involving the kids. The other parent’s parenting time may be disrupted by the altered schedule. A custodial parent can schedule activities to interfere with the other spouse’s parenting time. Or the other way around. The children cannot go because it is the other parent’s day with them.

This is a terrible way to make the other parent and the kids’ day miserable. It is interference with custodial rights. It should be brought to the court’s attention. To allow the court to act on the interference, you must speak with your lawyer.

 

What is custodial interference?

Custodial interference occurs when the non-custodial parent makes repeated attempts to obstruct the custodial parent’s usual custody rights. It is done to the point where it becomes disruptive. The disruptive parent could be subject to a multitude of legal repercussions. The extent of legal measures is dependent on how disruptive they were.

The person who has custody of a kid has the authority to carry out numerous tasks. That person has certain obligations. And is permitted to engage in a variety of activities. The individual with primary or sole custody is granted these privileges by state law. The other parent typically has visiting privileges. Or a lesser degree of custody than the primary parent. Contempt of court charges or other legal repercussions may result from any interference.

Interference is a failure to adhere to the terms of the child custody arrangement. This could entail not picking up or dropping off children. There can be some restrictions.

In Michigan, the following three key factors can indicate interference in child custody cases:

[ a ]  The court has granted custody or parenting time via a court order (such as a custody arrangement);

[ b ]  Children are kept away from the custodial parent for at least 24 hours by one parent; and/or

[ c ]  It must be the intention of one parent to keep children away from the custodial parent.

Interference could happen in a number of different circumstances. Withhold children from the custodial parent for 24 hours. or longer can be one example. One parent consistently picks up and drops off their children late can be another example. Displaying a pattern of behavior against the custody agreement. That can also be considered interference. It indicates an intent to interfere with the other parent’s right to custody.

It is not considered interference when a parent occasionally drops off a child late. Given that there are possible explanations other than intentionality for this offense. It can be traffic or just losing track of time, it would be seen as an understandable infraction. Consistent, persistent tardiness that denies the custodial parent parenting time can constitute interference. Especially when done with the intent to interfere with parent-child routines.

You should never attempt to handle interference on your own as a parent. Ask for the custody agreement to be enforced. You can always report events to the Friend of the Court appointed to your case.

 

What is the impact of custodial interference on custody and parenting time?

Parties may be unable to avoid running interference against each other. It will have an impact on their ability to collaborate. Both parents will be unable to reach a consensus on any of the concerns. Instead of putting their differences aside to help the kids, they opted to argue with one another.

Courts may resort to modifying parenting time to curb interference. It will not bode well for the parents initiating the interference. Short of criminal penalties, an interfering parent may find their parenting time adjusted by the court to recompense the aggrieved parent.

The court will have to decide on sole legal custody if the parents are unable to have an agreement. Even if joint legal custody was first granted in the divorce. Parents can’t keep going back to court to discuss matters involving their children. The court would eventually grant sole custody to one party.

Interference can also affect the children’s well-being. Parents targeted with interference can have experiences similar to parental alienation. At first, the target parent is the only one whose alienation seems to hurt. Long-term studies show the negative impact of alienation. Children living with a manipulative parent experience self-hatred and low self-esteem. They also go through depression. Others grow up having a lack of trust, substance misuse, and a reduced ability to give and receive love. 

Parents in contentious relationships can be oblivious to their children. They may not be aware of the impact of custodial interference. Too focused on themselves they may not be aware they are disrupting communication. Interference can fracture communication between parents and children. It can strain the parent-child relationship.

 

What is the consequence of custodial interference?

Parents may take extreme steps to be with their children. More so if they are locked in a bitter custody dispute. Nevertheless, disobeying a visitation order can result in severe civil and criminal penalties. In a family court, a judge can punish a party. The court can do so by allocating make-up parenting time. The court can impose fines on the offending parent. Charge attorney fees or other financial penalties.  The court is not limited to that. It can hold the offending party in contempt of court and imprison the offender.  The court can ultimately change custody to the other parent’s advantage.

The child may not object to residing with the parent for an extended period of time. The child may even express a desire to return to the other parent. However, it is the parent’s responsibility to see that the court’s order is complied with. It is the law’s intended effect.

The Michigan Child Custody Act includes the facilitation of a child-parent relationship. It is one of the factors in the best interests of the minor child. Parents who interfere with this relationship stand the risk of losing custody. Or parenting time for themselves.

Even a parent who struggles with time management may be held in contempt of court for their actions. In Michigan, a parent can habitually disrespect the other parent’s custody rights. Or has a history of being late for custody exchanges and may be held in civil contempt.

It doesn’t matter how strongly you feel about your bond with your child. Your contempt for your ex-spouse’s parental rights will get you in trouble with the court.  Before taking any specific action speak with an attorney. Your attorney can educate you on your legal rights and options.

Ask the court for enforcement each time the other parent denies you parenting time. or otherwise disregards a court order. The Friend of the Court works to enforce child support obligations. It will also enforce the same diligence with parenting time. Parents who refuse to share parenting time must be called out for their actions. 

This sends a message that the child has a right to a relationship with both parents. Interference with that right will result in punishment. Action should be taken even with the first infraction of an order.

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Creative Ways to Protect Your Assets in a Divorce

During a divorce, are there creative ways to protect assets? The court will ensure an equitable division takes place to safeguard your interest. A house is an asset in a marriage. To complete the formalities of ownership, the couple purchases the home. Informal interests do exist occasionally. Someone—perhaps an uncle—might have contributed funds to purchase the home. A down payment may have been made by someone. No written documentation exists. You will divide your possessions and liabilities eventually in the divorce. Certain parties will be excluded if you don’t address these informal interests.

Click here to watch the video on Creative Ways to Protect Your Assets in a Divorce

You should have already covered those informal transactions before the divorce is finalized. As proof, you should have items like an IOU or a receipt. This will offer proof that the transaction truly took place. You can set money aside during the asset division phase of your divorce to settle the debt.

 

What assets do you need to protect in a divorce?

Most of your possessions—or your spouse’s—were accumulated during your marriage. If there is a title or deed, it doesn’t matter whose name is on it. It remains marital property unless it was a gift or inheritance. You both own everything that is marital property.

If you and your spouse cannot agree on how to divide your property, the judge will make the decision. In Michigan, courts must divide property fairly. Fairness generally means that everyone receives roughly half of everything. A judge may decide that it is acceptable to divide marital property in different ways.

The court has the discretion of determining what is reasonable. If the marriage’s dissolution was primarily the fault of one partner. Or, if one spouse demanded more property, your assets might be divided unevenly. While accumulating higher marital debt, one partner may also amass bigger marital assets.

Separate property refers to items that are not marital property. Property owned by one spouse before marriage is considered separate property. It is separate property if one spouse receives a gift or inheritance. It stays separate while the marriage is still active. A spouse’s separate property increases in value on its own. The net increase in value is considered to be separate property. In a divorce, spouses often keep their respective separate property. Separate property, however, may be subject to property division in certain circumstances.

In protecting your property during divorce, your goal is to keep your separate property separate. And to get your fair share in the martial assets during property division.

 

What debts should be shared?

The marriage debt is split fairly between the two partners. This often means that each person is responsible for paying around half of the overall debt. A judge can determine specific circumstances to split debt in a different method.

In the following scenarios, there may be an unequal debt distribution:

[ a ]  One party is more to blame for the breakdown of the marriage.

[ b ]  One individual can afford to pay more, or

[ c ]  One spouse incurs debt such as one spouse’s gambling debt. The debt incurred without the other spouse’s approval. The gambling spouse is accountable for the gambling debt.

[ d ]  Sometimes one spouse acquires more property while taking on more debt.

Separate debts are those that one spouse racked up before becoming married. Generally speaking, any debt incurred during a marriage is a marital debt. No matter who made the purchase or whose credit card was used, it doesn’t matter.

Some situations defy this generalization. Debts incurred through gambling or extramarital affairs are not marital debt. Paying restitution in a criminal case does not fall under the category of marital debt. Student loan for one spouse taken out during the marriage is a separate debt. But they can be considered marital debt if student loans were used to maintain the family.

The recipient of a property usually takes on the debt attached to the property. The person may continue to own the property. The person who can afford to fulfill the associated financial commitment gets to keep it.

 

Where do your creditors stand in your debt division?

The court presiding over your divorce has no authority over your creditors. You owe money to your creditors. Your divorce decree may assign each debt to either you or your spouse. Joint debts that are owed to creditors in both of your names may still be treated as such.

A list of all debts in both of your names must be included in the divorce judgment. If the person ordered to pay the debt doesn’t, the other spouse can request that the judge enforce the order. You can submit a motion asking the judge to order your spouse to reimburse you. This is a form of reimbursement if you wind up paying a debt that was assigned to your spouse.

The creditor is free to appeal the judge’s decision. If they determine that just one spouse is solely responsible for a debt. Any debt owing to the creditor by either spouse or both spouses may be collected by the creditor. The creditor can use any legal means to do so. It doesn’t matter if spouses co-signed the agreement or whether only one party entered into it. Non-paying spouses can only dispute the paying spouses by claiming contempt of court against them.

In Michigan, the following considerations are taken when dividing a couple’s debt:

The length of the marriage.

A judge may attempt to return both parties to their pre-marriage financial situations. Especially with marriages lasting an abnormally brief period. Marriages of only five years or less. The court does it in such a way that each person leaves the marriage with roughly the same amount of debt.

The spouses’ capacity to pay the debt. 

The court makes sure no one carries an undue burden. The court considers each spouse’s income and potential earning capacity in allocating debt.

How the spouse acquired the debt.

A gambling habit that resulted in the debt. This kind of debt may be allocated exclusively to the person who incurred them.

Why debt was acquired.

Sometimes the motive for the debt is taken into consideration, such as when it was incurred as part of an affair.

Where the property or asset is going to end up.

To maintain the integrity of the property division, the debt must go with the asset. It is likely that if the family automobile goes to one spouse, the debt from the car loan will go with the car. The party getting the majority of the marital assets can end up paying a larger share of the marital debt. The majority of the time, this choice is made when one spouse receives a much larger share of the marital estate. An example is a home. The party getting the home must assume responsibility for the mortgage payments.

You and your spouse can, and ought to, try to settle the different issues of your divorce peacefully. Resolve issues on how to divide marital assets including debts. You can resolve this between you two with your respective attorneys. Or with the help of a trained and reputable mediator.

If you can reach a fair arrangement, you can memorialize it in a written document. This document is known as a “separation agreement” or “property settlement agreement.” You can ask the judge to incorporate it in the divorce decree. You can save time, stress, and money this way.

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Can My Spouse Spend All My Money During the Divorce?

Can My Spouse Spend All My Money During the Divorce? The goal of the court is to ensure an equitable and fair distribution of the marital estate. You should let your lawyer know if you think this spending is taking place. 

Click here to watch the video Can My Spouse Spend All My Money During the Divorce?

Your attorney will submit the necessary motions to freeze assets. The motion will keep things as they are. This implies that the standard amount of money for living expenses will remain. These costs should be sufficient to maintain a quality of life. No further significant costs should arise. Nobody can liquidate anything. No more making large purchases. You can protect marital assets this way.

 

Can your spouse spend all your money during the divorce?

Couples should be aware of this. Neither partner is the sole owner of the assets acquired via marriage. You receive half of each asset’s worth. When you divide your assets as part of a divorce, your spouse gets the other half.  In Michigan, you and your spouse are co-owners of all marital property. You need to be sure to protect the part belonging to you. As a result, only 50% of an asset’s value is really discussed during a marriage when it comes to any one item.

Marital assets or marital property is any asset acquired during the marriage. It can be material or intangible. An example of what is typically treated as marital property under Michigan law is the home. Any property the couple bought just after their wedding. The income the wife receives working as a hotel cashier in the course of the marriage. The husband’s pension plan.

As opposed to this, assets acquired before marriage are considered separate property. A vehicle was bought prior to the wedding. Furniture was bought prior to the marriage. Certain properties are separate even after the wedding. An example is a gift received by a spouse during marriage. An inheritance obtained by a spouse while married may be regarded as separate property. It depends on who made the corresponding purchase, gift, or inheritance.

Separate property may change into the marital property over the course of a marriage. An illustration would be if the separate property was combined with the marital property. Or the property was used to the family’s advantage.

One spouse may be entitled to a share of the other’s separate property. It can happen if the spouse receiving the property contributed to the acquisition. Or the improvement, or accumulation of the property.

This exception also applies to a vacation home that one couple inherited. And the other spouse helped refurbish it, greatly raising its worth. It could also take the shape of one spouse managing the home and child care. The spouse is doing so to allow the other spouse to devote attention to expanding a business. A business they started before getting married.

A spouse with a bank account created within the marriage cannot just spend it all without telling the other spouse.

 

Can you recover what was lost?

Excessive spending by a spouse during a divorce is a form of dissipation. Dissipation is spending marital funds or using any marital assets. The spending benefits only one spouse and not the marriage as a whole. The total worth of the assets being divided in the divorce settlement will be less. The money is leaving the marital estate decreasing its total value.

Dissipation can take many different forms. It includes gambling, and drug or alcohol abuse. Other examples are money spent on extramarital affairs. Another example is lavish expenditure by one spouse.

Creative ways to hide assets are another way of losing assets during divorce. 

The law in Michigan is straightforward. A party cannot withhold assets from the other during a divorce. All property possessed by both spouses must be listed. Both parties and the court must be able to examine the list. It is important to arrive at an equitable property allocation.

A party who conceals an asset could face fraud charges. High fines may be imposed. In such situations, a judge might give the aggrieved spouse the entire estate. The offending party may be in contempt of court. That party can be fined money in addition to attorney fees. Especially if they refuse to answer legal questions. The questions raised during inquiries about the property are part of “discovery.”

The actual value of marital property lost in this spending spree may be difficult to recover. The court can find another way to penalize the guilty party causing the loss. The partner who engaged in the dissipation would probably receive less property. This can happen in the ultimate divorce settlement once dissipation is discovered. 

As recompense for losing out on a sizable percentage of the marital assets, the abused spouse might receive the marital home. Or, the person might get a bigger share of the couple’s financial savings. In essence, the family court has the authority to award the aggrieved spouse. It can award assets equal to the amount lost.

In a Michigan divorce, any joint debt is also shared. A spouse using a sizable credit card debt to fund an illegal activity is going to be accountable for that debt.

 

What can you do with hidden assets?

Despite legal repercussions, spouses frequently hide assets. They do it on purpose or engage in a game of keep-away. Spouses can even involve third parties. They are driven by avarice and resentment over the divorce. These actions could result in more fraud allegations or fraudulent conveyance claims. The creation of a trust for a third party is one such trick, for instance.

Here are some other typical tactics for hiding marital assets:

[ a ]  Hiding documents, such as hiding stock and bond evidence, among other things.

[ b ]  The conversion of money into “mobile property,” such as art, hobbies, or jewelry.

[ c ]  Settling fictitious debts. Example: Generating fictitious debt instruments and paying them off to a third party.

[ d ]  Custodial IRAs or 401Ks established in collaboration with friends or family members.

[ e ]  Directing income and purchases through a business entity owned by the spouse.

[ f ]  Deceptively decreasing the value of assets or a spouse-owned business.

Creating an accurate financial picture of all the assets of each spouse is the first stage. During the divorce process, hidden assets may be uncovered in a variety of different ways. To check against known assets, it may be sufficient to just ask the other spouse. Ask for accounts and other details. Sometimes formal discovery techniques are effective like depositions, interrogatories, and subpoenas. Or demands for production and other court motions may be necessary. 

You can also use forensic accountants and other professionals. Professionals can focus on uncovering assets hidden during a divorce. Your attorney has the option of hiring independent detectives. The goal is to look for hidden assets.

The lawyer should go over the evidence requirements with the client. Do this at each stage of the inquiry. This includes doing informal, formal, and private investigations. Establish the existence of the asset and establish if it belongs in the marital estate.  

Your lawyer must tell you of ethical obligations. You have an obligation to tell the opposing counsel of any discovery attempts. Keep in mind the purpose of determining the assets’ value and identification. It is to determine which marital property should be part of the split.

 

How do you protect yourself from further loss?

Financial issues can have a significant impact on a couple’s decision to divorce. Due to a wealthy lifestyle, one spouse may be a wasteful spender. A partner may have a problem with gambling or drug. A partner may be more inclined to succumb to their behavior over any financial restraint. The individual might not be concerned with the impact of their actions in their divorce case.

One spouse may formally ask the court to order the freezing of assets. It will avoid financial disaster while divorce discussions are ongoing. To do this, you must ask for a temporary restraining order. This restraining order should cover money-related issues. All parties would then get a court order approving the freezing of assets.

A restraining order in divorce proceedings safeguards the parties’ assets and money. In every divorce in Michigan, there are normally two different orders submitted. First, there is a decree protecting the marital estate and prohibiting property transfers. Another is a Financial Status Quo Order.

A restraining order prohibiting the transfer of property protects the marital estate. The Order would forbid any party from acting outside of the normal course of business. Spouses are not to undertake activities, such as removing, concealing, and transferring property. They are not to do anything such as damage, sell, or destroy property. The restraining order would forbid one party from closing a bank account. Or close a retirement account without the other side’s approval.

The Financial Status Quo Order prevents one party from financially penalizing another. The Order specifically calls for both parties to uphold the present budgetary situation. The budget that pays for the mortgage, taxes, utilities, car payments, and insurance. Charge accounts and the like are a few examples.

The majority of restraining orders are issued ex parte, or without a party in attendance. A party to a divorce complaint may ask for the entry of a restraining order. They claim that without one, their property rights will be violated. In order to restrain both parties and avoid abuse. A court would often issue an Order that covers both the husband and wife.

It’s crucial to keep in mind that a court communicates through its orders. As a result, if a party violates a restraining order, the court may hold them in contempt. Which, in extreme circumstances, may result in a fine or even imprisonment.

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