A Lawyer’s Perspective: Should You Stay Divorced for Your Kids’ Sake? #ChooseGoldmanLaw
There is a conflict between couples. They are not on the same page. Even though they are separating, they still have children. Should they still be married? Till the youngest child turns 18 and leaves for college, will you stay married? Just what does that imply? Does it matter if the divorce is filed right away or in six months? Do we need to wait another four years to get divorced? People may argue that you should keep your marriage for the sake of children. Here’s a lawyer’s perspective on the question, should you stay divorced for your kids’ sake?
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We may not feel that way as lawyers. There is a circumstance where the family feels dissatisfied. The myth that an unhappy home should be maintained for the benefit of children is wrong. In a miserable home, you cannot effectively raise your children. A home where arguments and fighting are constant. It is not a good example to set for the kids. What kind of marriage do you want to provide as an example for them? The children will seek their own home as the first location to find that example. It does not set a positive example for your children. Children will regard marriage as a tragedy that makes people miserable. You can still be good parents. You’ll always be a family.
What are legitimate reasons for ending a marriage?
Your justifications for divorce won’t matter much to the court. Whether they are reasonable or just plain foolish, it won’t matter. It can affect how decisions about child custody, spousal support, and child support are made. For instance, you don’t need to provide evidence of domestic abuse to get a divorce. Although the court won’t insist on it as justification, it may be a valid reason to end the marriage. Domestic violence is severe. Divorce-related issues, such as child custody, parenting time, and property division, can be influenced by it.
Domestic violence can be a legitimate driver for a divorce. The courts do not use it as the basis for granting divorce. Both alimony and property division are subject to the same consequences. One party may be considered by the court. It can award a larger percentage of the property to the victim of domestic violence. This is done to make up for the suffering or costs incurred as a result of the injuries.
There are many legitimate reasons to end a marriage. The courts need only to know if you have irreconcilable differences to grant a divorce.
Here are some of the top-ranking reasons for ending a marriage. These are the primary drivers for the filing of a divorce:
[ a ] Lack of commitment
[ b ] Incompatibility and growing apart
[ c ] Infidelity or unfaithfulness
[ d ] Money management disagreements
[ e ] Communication problems
[ f ] Substance abuse
[ g ] Domestic abuse
[ h ] Conflicts in managing family responsibilities
Women petition for divorce twice as men which translates to 31% of men and about 69% of women. Divorce rates rise while marriage rates have been dropping. Analysts estimate that 40% to 50% of current marriages will end in divorce. No-fault divorce is legal in Michigan. You are allowed to have them. Because of how the laws have changed, Michigan no longer requires a reason for divorce.
Michigan State and divorce. What is the state’s position on marriage and divorce?
The state’s position is clear on both marriage and divorce. The state will choose to preserve the marriage as much as possible. The whole point of the waiting period is to ensure that ending a marriage is not frivolous. It is to ensure the decision to end the marriage is not a spur-of-the-moment. The state has made it a priority and policy to defend the institution of marriage and the family unit. Keep the marriage as much as possible. Keeping it serves the best interests of the children. Many crucial moments might occur while waiting. It can be an opportunity for reprieve. A hurried and angered divorce filing may occur after a heated dispute. Partners engaged in conflict are provided some breathing room. In the interim, a waiting period allows them to decide if divorce is really what they want.
Couples might begin talking about their issues differently. It happens after a divorce case has been submitted to the court. It is a result of the anticipated separation. The waiting period for separating spouses gives them time to reflect on the idea of separation. Their idea of living alone is different from reality. This realization often comes after leaving home. While waiting, the couple has time to think about the possibility of reconciliation.
While it’s true that the state is biased toward preserving marriage, it also does not seek fault to end it. The state of Michigan declared itself a no-fault divorce state. Your partner cannot legally stop you from requesting a divorce. Your spouse’s approval is not required. Proof of marital infidelity does not need to be shown. You are not required to continue in the marriage, even how much your partner may want you to. It is not necessary to have a witness to dissolve a marriage. Simply stating irreconcilable differences in Michigan is enough for a divorce petition. Make it clear that there is no chance for a solution. Before the divorce is granted, you must attest to that fact to the court. This won’t prevent your spouse from opposing the divorce from being filed. It’s still possible for your spouse to make every stage of the process difficult for you.
Children and unhappy marriages. What is the impact of unhappy marriages on children? Should you stay married for the sake of the children?
Many parents worry that divorcing will harm their children permanently. Some parents worry so much about it. They keep staying in unhappy, tense, or even abusive marriages. What do the studies reveal? Is staying together for the sake of the children always best? The immediate response is “YES.” Children thrive in stable, predictable families. Families with two loving parents who care about both them and each other. Unless there is parental abuse or conflict, separation is unsettling, stressful, and destabilizing. If you are looking at children having a happy, fruitful life for themselves as adults, the answer is NO. Make every effort to make your marriage work, but don’t do it solely for the benefit of your children.
No parent should get a divorce without first prioritizing their child’s desire. A desire for a stable family unit over their own. Putting the needs of others before our own might inspire us. The majority of parents who divorce don’t first look into marriage counseling. Divorce is the only viable option when a relationship fails. It’s a solution that satisfies their demands. As shown by studies, divorce is challenging for children to understand.
Children might suffer from divorce as much as parents, who both suffer from it. Children will no doubt go through the strife, pressure, and turmoil of divorce. Many parents fail to control their own emotions through all that turmoil. It might be difficult for children to comprehend their parents’ marriage has ended. It can be less detrimental than the alternative. Being a member of a broken family is never simple. In many situations, it may be better for children to live with divorced parents. It is better than to continue living in a dysfunctional home. Children face the lifelong difficulties of being raised by parents in toxic marriages. Divorce’s challenges may be a preferable alternative.
High-conflict marriages are ones in which the spouses are angry and even violent. High-conflict marriages have physical altercations characterized by yelling, screaming, and slamming doors. It is manifested by breaking dishes, yelling names, and threatening behavior. High-conflict marriages also have a higher prevalence of domestic abuse. Children experience great stress when they are raised in a home with high conflict. Their parents are verbally, emotionally, and even physically violent to one another. Children’s emotional, mental, and physical health are affected by this type of stress. This is “toxic stress.”
Children have to deal with the effects of an endless cycle of arguments, anger, grief, and even hatred. This is the scenario when parents stay in a dysfunctional marriage. Children may suffer if exposed to constant disagreements, unfavorable undertones, and screaming. This is not to mention potential violence. This is a setting that is everything but quiet and pleasant. Ending a failing marriage by divorce is frequently the wisest option.
You can choose to leave or remain in an unhappy marriage. Take into account the lessons you might be imparting to the children. What do your behaviors show about you? How does it impact your child’s understanding of love? Love in the context of family and other people. Resentment might fester over time if it isn’t addressed. There is a significant probability that it will get worse. There’s also a danger that these unfavorable attitudes will rub off on your children. This might cause your child to feel perplexed, lonely, detached, and even guilty.
Children are more likely to have positive results when at least one parent:
[ a ] Ensures the children feel safe and secure;
[ b ] Is warm, affectionate, and open with the children;
[ c ] Respect and speaks well of the other parent;
[ d ] Cooperates with the other parent about matters involving the children;
[ e ] Gives close but respectful supervision;
[ f ] Encourages autonomy and empowerment;
[ g ] Imparts effective coping and problem-solving skills;
[ h ] Keeps up a network of social support with extended family, neighbors, and the community;
[ i ] When necessary, seeks professional help for themselves or their children.
[ j ] Facilitates ongoing, regular, and dependable contact with the other parent; and,
[ k ] Has clear and reasonable expectations of the children.
Many children endure temporary issues and setbacks after divorce. The great majority of them recover within a year or two. Divorced children mature into happy adults. This is true for as long as they have at least one loving parent who is still concerned about their welfare. Children can gain from witnessing their parents’ choice for happiness and contentment. It is better than experiencing the inevitable harm that comes with divorce.
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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.