Should I date while getting divorced? In Michigan, there aren’t many restrictions on your ability to date or socialize while going through the divorce process. Even though there are no limits or it is legal, you may need to think about how it will impact your children or your efforts to get a divorce quickly and amicably. There is no way you can introduce this new person to your kids. You most definitely don’t want to foster resentment toward your soon-to-be ex-spouse and add to the already tense divorce process.
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Keep in mind that by introducing your new date to the person you will be haggling with about your alimony, child support, custody, and parenting time, you are alienating your soon-to-be ex. You don’t want that person to hinder your ability to proceed later in the divorce procedure.
You Should Worry About The Optics
Both parents should be worried about the optics of new relationships. How is it going to look to the kids? Most of all, how is it going to look from the court’s perspective?
Having a girlfriend or boyfriend could impede a quick or amicable divorce if you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are currently living apart and going through the divorce process. A relationship with a new person could taint property division as well as child custody, even if the person who was involved in the infidelity that led to the divorce is no longer in the picture.
Even if it’s unintentional, if you start seeing someone during your divorce, your spouse might assume you were secretly seeing them before you split up, and their lawyer might summon that person to testify in a deposition or even during your divorce trial.
Your spouse’s lawyer and even the judge may see your texts, emails, and social media posts related to your dating activities. These exchanges are public and could be used against you. The secret to getting through a divorce with the least amount of discomfort and embarrassment is discretion.
If you are getting preoccupied with a new relationship how will you manage parenting time which is challenging in itself already. If you weigh the amount of time you’re supposed to spend with your children and the time to arrange and set up your date with a new person, you will be making priorities against parenting time. You’re not going to look good compromising your parenting time in favor of a new relationship.
It may be assumed the person is too self-centered to act in the best interests of his or her children by dating openly at the early stages of divorce. The dating parent could appear as uncaring because the children’s best interests always take precedence in custody disputes.
The Consequences of Dating During A Divorce
The appearance of romantic partners (or anyone else, for that matter) around the minor children during parenting time may be restricted by family court judges. Even if it is not forbidden by a court order, the addition of a cohabiting partner or new spouse to the household may be cause for the other parent to submit an application to change custody or parenting time.
Dating during a divorce is often discouraged by divorce attorneys since it can raise the expense and angst of the divorce process. Although courts cannot expressly “penalize” a divorcing spouse for dating, it can still have an impact on the terms of the divorce settlement.
Never even consider dating someone else unless you and your husband have physically split and are living separately. Otherwise, a judge can decide to give your spouse a bigger portion of the marital assets and property.
Meeting a new love interest might worsen a child’s emotional distress and may have an impact on your claim to child custody.
Parents should be aware that if there is a good reason or a change in circumstances, custody and parenting time orders may be reviewed. The presence of a parent’s new romantic partner can cause these changes.
It’s disruptive and detrimental for children when parents push them to meet and build bonds with new partners who may subsequently leave their lives. In addition, a parent’s bad judgment may result in the loss of custody or parenting time if they bring in a live-in third party who the judge deems to be potentially dangerous.
Parents are permitted to pursue other romantic relationships with different partners after a separation or divorce as long as they still have parental rights over their children. These additional relationships might progress into a serious, long-term partnership that might result in cohabitation or marriage.
There is actually a statute prohibiting cohabitation with romantic partners without marriage in Michigan. Although this statute was never enforced by prosecutors, this act was never repealed, proving the Legislature still intended to keep this prohibition in place and that doing so was in the public interest. Violating the statute is a misdemeanor carrying a maximum sentence of one year imprisonment or a maximum fine of $1,000.
The emotional impact on your children, whether they are young children, teenagers, or adults, should be taken into account in addition to the legal considerations when dating while going through a divorce. Your children, your relationship with them, and how they see you will all be impacted by new relationships. Divorce is already a challenging process, so it’s crucial to consider how each decision you make will affect your children.
The Better Options For You
The most expedient choice is to not really start any relationship. However, we may succumb to the desire to seek emotional support, in the unlikely event of “love” finding its way regardless, it is better to exercise caution in embarking in this emotional adventure.
Use prudence when dating. If at all possible, wait until far after the divorce is official to even introduce your children to a new dating partner.
If you fall in love with someone new, be upfront about your situation and refrain from dating them while you are still living with your husband.
Instead of looking for a new relationship, seek out a group of people who can relate to you. You can deal with any feelings of abandonment or solitude by joining the right support group.
Many spouses add a clause in their divorce agreements outlining acceptable behavior when it comes to new significant others as part of their divorce settlement. They may specify a minimum amount of time you must have been dating someone before they are allowed to see the kids or spend time with them. Exes may agree in more amicable divorces that they can only present a new spouse to their children after they have introduced themselves to one another first.
Your dating behavior can suddenly be the target of an investigation if your previously cordial relationship with your ex suddenly soured or if your already terrible interactions become even more nasty. Be wise when dating if you must do so while going through a divorce.
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Goldman & Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.