You’re going about your usual day at home with your child. Your child looks at you and just tells you she’s being abused.

Click here to watch the video on What To Do If Your Child Says Your Ex Is Abusive, But There’s No Evidence

Parents or concerned parties must know the signs of child abuse and act accordingly. There are laws on the reporting and non-reporting of child abuse incidents. As parents, we have to have a balance between taking care of our kids and our relationship with everyone else.

The moment can be unreal. It may not sink in quickly or not sink in at all. You know you need to do something.

You check it out and there’s no evidence of it.

Is there really evidence or are you making yourself believe there is?

You Need to Suppress The Desire To React Immediately

First, you need to understand if you know what abuse looks like. Neglect is also a form of abuse. Can you recognize it when you see it?

But the last thing you should do in this scenario is take matters into your own hands.

You quickly decide to not let the child go with your spouse. You just withheld parenting time without justification.

If you do that with no physical evidence, the only thing that will happen is your rights as a parent will begin to become limited. The other side, your spouse, is going to file a motion. And they’re going to claim you withheld the child against the court order.

Of course your child told you there was something going wrong. But you have no evidence.

In that scenario the court is going to look at what you did as an extreme disregard and disrespect for the court’s order. And take away potentially your parenting time.

So don’t take matters into your own hands and withhold parenting the time of your spouse.

The most important thing at this point is communicating this concern with your spouse. Work out what is happening. Details will be important and we have some very important details you might need in this process.

You Need To Know The Signs Revealing Child Abuse

What is abuse? What is neglect?

The Child Protection Law as published by the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services or MDHHS defines child abuse as follows:

“Child abuse” means harm or threatened harm to a child’s health or welfare that occurs through non accidental physical or mental injury, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, or maltreatment, by a parent, a legal guardian, or any other person responsible for the child’s health or welfare or by a teacher, a teacher’s aide, or a member of the clergy.

We have a whole article dedicated to child abuse entitled, What Is Considered Child Abuse in Michigan?.

The article threads on the really fine line between discipline and abuse, and can be illuminating for parents who have discipline issues with their kids.

Neglect is when a parent, legal guardian, or other person in charge of the child’s health or welfare does or threatens to cause harm to the child in one of the following ways:

Negligent treatment, such as failing to give someone enough food, clothing, shelter, or medical attention.
Failing to take action to reduce a risk to a child’s health or welfare when a parent, legal guardian, or other person responsible for the child’s health or welfare is able to do so and has knowledge of the risk, or should have had that information.

What you should do is check it out. See if there’s any physical evidence. The MDHHS suggest certain course to observe to determine signs of child abuse.

Try to check if the following physical signs of child abuse is present with your child:

Physical Signs of Physical Neglect
Unmet medical requirements.
Absence of oversight.
Recurring indicators of hunger, unsuitable attire, and bad hygiene.
Emaciated and stomach distended.
Substantial weight loss

Physical Signs of Physical Abuse

Unidentified welts, loop marks, and bruises in various stages of healing.
Bite marks from adult humans.
Bald patches or hair-loss clusters.
Unknown burns or scalds.
Unaccounted-for fractures, abrasions, or punctures or lacerations on the skin.
Lips swollen/teeth chipped.
Linear or parallel lines near the temples and cheeks.
Bruises with a crescent shape.
Wounds from a stab.
Injuries to the ears..

If there isn’t. Maybe there’s evidence you cannot exactly see. So take your kid to the doctor.

The very fact of your announcement to your child you’re taking him or her to the doctor will make the child respond uneasily. The child will probably say dad did not exactly do that or that he might have done that. You may need to do this just so you can get to the bottom of it.

Child abuse cannot always be physical, meaning you cannot always see the abuse as a physically visible injury. It can be mental or psychological. The signs will be seen through a manifestation of certain behaviors.

Check the following behavioral signs of child abuse:

Behavioral Signs of Physical Neglect

Frequently shows signs of weariness or listlessness and nods off in class.
Hoards or steals food and begs from classmates.
Reports there isn’t a caregiver present.

Behavioral Signs of Physical Abuse

Self-destructive/self-mutilation.
Extremes of withdrawal and/or aggression.
Squeamish or uncomfortable with personal contact.
Late arrival or protracted absence, as though frightened to be at home.
Persistent runaway (adolescents).
Moves awkwardly or complains of pain.
Wears improper apparel for the weather and covers their body.
Impulse control issues (e.g. inappropriate outbursts).

What a parent’s worst nightmare can be, is when they see signs of sexual abuse. The reality can be unreal for most parents.

Just like neglect and physical abuse, there are ways of checking signs of sexual abuse. Check out these signs:

Physical signs of sexual abuse

Itching or pain in the vaginal area.
Bleeding or bruises in the vaginal area.
Sexually transmitted illness.
Frequent yeast or urine infections
Extreme or abrupt changes in weight.
Pregnancy before the age of twelve.

The behavioral indicators of sexual abuse

Withdrawal and persistent depression.
Unusual sexual actions or allusions for the child’s age.
Promiscuous or seductive behavior.
Lack of confidence, self-devaluation, and low self-esteem.
Suicidal tries (especially adolescents).
Lack of emotional control and hysteria.

Now if your child insists that there’s some level of abuse. And you take the kid to the doctor and the doctor doesn’t see anything. The doctor actually declares no physical evidence of this, you will realize that a couple of things may be going on.

The doctor thinks there is a credible case of abuse even though he or she can’t see it. Your doctor will take a few more steps or more tests to be sure. If the doctor is more inclined to believe there is abuse, your doctor is mandated to report it.

The law classifies medical practitioners who regularly interact with children as mandatory reporters. Under the law they are required to report, based on their professional assessment, children who are at risk of child abuse.

This is also why you have to talk to your spouse about these things before calling a professional. Do take notes about the signs before you do, so you have specific details to discuss. If these suspicions are unfounded, it is best to keep this between you and seek a better way of communicating these things.

Your privilege to keep these things private may no longer be in your hands if the doctor believe there are signs of child abuse.

Certain practitioners are required under the Michigan Child Protection Law to notify Centralized Intake (CI) at the MDHHS of their concerns of child abuse or neglect. These individuals have developed relationships with children as a result of their line of work and are required to report matters related to child abuse.

These mandatory reporters cannot just report anything without cause or evidence. Just as there is penalty for not reporting child abuse, there is penalty for false reporting.

If the doctor do find signs or evidence of child abuse, Child Protective Services or CPS maybe involved in the next step.

There may be mandatory orders to CPS and then you will start a whole cycle of CPS things involved in your life. It won’t necessarily be a good thing for anybody. CPS people are trained to follow a process mandated by the state. They are professionals in their own right just like your doctor.

When You See A Professional, Understand Their Process

There are certain steps mandatory reporters like your doctor or pediatrician should be following when they confirm a case of child abuse. These are not even a professional requirement, these are mandates prescribed by state statutes.

You really have to think about the position you are putting yourselves in once you submit your child to examination for determining signs of abuse.

Michigan’s penalties for failing to report child abuse and neglect and for making false reports can be uncomfortable to say the least.

A mandated reporter who willfully disregards the reporting deadline commits a misdemeanor and faces either or all of the such penalties as a sentence of no more than 93 days in jail and a fine not to exceed $500.

Fraudulent reporting. You just can’t go around crying wolf and state someone is committing child abuse. Any individual who knowingly files a false report alleging child abuse or neglect is guilty of offenses. If the reported child abuse or neglect, amounts to a misdemeanor, but would not be a crime if true, the offender is guilty of a misdemeanor punished by up to 93 days in jail, a fine of up to $100, or both.

A $100 probably is easy to take but 93 days in jail is something else.

If child abuse gets to CPS, it will trigger a series of processes to investigate and validate the abuse. Unless extraordinary circumstances call for an extension, CPS has 30 days to finish its investigation. Within 24 hours of an child abuse being reported, a CPS investigation must begin.

You don’t want to get CPS involved very early in the process when your child says your ex is abusive. Have a talk with your child. Go through the process we suggest here and work it out with your ex. Or, you can always seek professional help outside the court, outside CPS.

The doctor may recommend your child get some form of psychotherapy. If there’s a false accusation going on, it could mean an underlying psychological problem exists.

And are you ready to put your child through that?

Even with therapy, you need to work with your professional as to what the goals are in this therapy.

So you really need to get a handle on this. While you were married was there any evidence of abuse? You have a whole life with this person. You know the person never abuses the kids. Now all of a sudden the child’s crying abuse with no physical evidence to support it.

There may be some underlying psychological issues that you have to get to the bottom of.

It’s probably something that you should talk to your ex about especially if the doctors can’t help you.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel today for more advice on Family Law!

Goldman and Associates Law Firm is here to with information about Child Custody and Divorce in the State of Michigan.